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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think: It's summer, why not give the tiger mother routine a break?

71 replies

Cutitup · 13/08/2013 21:08

Dropped round a neighbour's house today who's DD is in my DD's school. She had already done a morning's epic run of taking her 3 kids back and forth to clubs (latin, judo and computer science) and had just returned from the library so her children could learn yet more things. All with classical music blaring away.

I can't keep up! Nor do I want to. It's just weird. (to me).

Why can't we all just enjoy summer without trying to get the kids into the top set in September?

I feel a pressure which I am quite happily ignoring! But it niggles......

OP posts:

Retropear · 14/08/2013 08:08

Shiny

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2013 08:09

I may be able to get DS2 to play with his Lego but DS1 at 14-I think not.

I have never noticed a dip.

DamnBamboo · 14/08/2013 08:10

OP called herself lazy

Gracie990 · 14/08/2013 08:12

My dh will still play with Lego, technical stuff is amazing. Not cheap though. He's building a robot with DS this weekend.

14's a difficult age though, at least he's not a girl. I was horrid at 14.

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2013 08:13

Well our contribution to the DS's learning this week is hiring a narrow boat for the day tomorrow. Gulp. That should be educational all round.

DamnBamboo · 14/08/2013 08:15

Sorry last post didn't work.

The OP is apparently 'lazy', 'jealous' and 'feeling guilty'. The implication being that if you're not taking your child to clubs and libraries and playing them classical music then you're clearly sticking them in front of their playstations with The Best of Rihanna playing in the background

REad my previous post, OP called herself lazy!

I agree with the sentiment that the kids the OP refers to might be perfectly happy - I said as much myself in my original reply. I just think the responses have been a bit rough given the fact the OP seemed pretty light hearted

hmm maybe, but I still dont' think any seem too vitriolic

I am also amused by the idea that if you don't take your child to music lessons/sports clubs then you must be doing nothing with them has anybody said that?

there's a bloody great big world out there to explore in the summer holidays!! My kids haven't wanted to go to clubs, they've enjoyed a break from them (although - note to the sanctimummies on here - we have been doing the library challenge, ok?) so instead we've been to country parks, beaches, farms, museums, gone camping and visited friends and family how is any of this any different to the example of tiger-mumming that the OP used? They're different activities, but still very structured

We've far, far, far from been lazy.

Awaits the responses telling me people have also been to all those places, as well as the clubs and their 4 year olds have managed to learn 2 foreign languages and been helping out at a homeless shelter so what the hell have I been doing with myself

No doubt there will be one, but the music listeners, library goers and club-attenders clearly don't fit that.

bearleftmonkeyright · 14/08/2013 08:15

We have hardly been anywhere as I am trying to keep hold of my cash for a two week camping holiday beginning Saturday. But, two of mine do gymnastics which I've paid for and they still want to go. I have not taken them to the library as we have lost three books

DamnBamboo · 14/08/2013 08:16

Sparkling sounds fab! My three would love that.

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2013 08:17

What can possibly go wrong Damn? It's just a boat isn't it?

DamnBamboo · 14/08/2013 08:19

Lifejackets, appropriate dress, country pub lunches and local beer - will be fab! Have fun

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2013 08:20

Thanks Damn that's the plan. The DC can do the leaping on and off and securing the boat. Plus a bit of steering.

OnTheNingNangNong · 14/08/2013 08:31

Ooh my boys would love to go on a narrow boat, how fab!

I apologise to all those on the tube last week who had to endure my son saying 'mum, make up a hard maths question for me please' then 'no mum, too easy, I want hard questions'. It's not my pushing him, he loves it.

He's going to tennis and cricket clubs too, as he wants to and it's really good for his coordination

Gracie990 · 14/08/2013 08:39

Narrow boat sounds fun. :-)

wilkos · 14/08/2013 08:47

I am in no way a tiger mother, but after last year of doing sod all for the whole summer DD's brain switched off from August till Christmas!

So I have bought her KS1 English and Maths to do over the summer, thankfully so far she has been happy to do them

JemimaMuddledUp · 14/08/2013 08:50

Narrow boat sounds great!

It is a question of balance, isn't it? There are lots of hours in the day and lots of days in the holidays. The odd class or structured activity doesn't take over the entire holiday.

My DC get up early even in the holidays as they like to see DH before he leaves for work at 7am. That makes for a long day... They practice their instruments after breakfast to get it done and out of the way. DS2 and DD are now playing with Lego while DS1 is (gasp!) reading his library book. DS2 has a karate session at 11am for an hour. Then after lunch they will more than likely be out on their bikes or playing in the park with their friends.

No epic run involved at all.

WallaceWindsock · 14/08/2013 08:55

Nothing of note to say, just that I am 22 and have regularly listened to classical music since I was nine. I am musical which is how I discovered it and my love for it. I also listen to jazz and blues. The rest of the time it's 80s rock. Not everyone listens to modern stuff. IMO it's talentless drivel and I avoid it like the plague.

Taz1212 · 14/08/2013 09:30

I think summer holidays are the perfect time for DC to try all sorts of stuff that they don't have time for during the school year. DD has done sailing and rock climbing and ranger camp etc all of which she has loved but I wouldn't be able to cart her round to all of these during the school year. She's had plenty time to do nothing as well and loads of time running rund with her friends but I don't think there's anything tiger mum about letting her do lots of different activities in the summer.

BettyandDon · 14/08/2013 09:36

Its 100x easier to do pre planned activities with kids than let them fester and be spontaneous IMO.

Tailtwister · 14/08/2013 10:04

I don't understand why people are so critical of what other parents do with their own children. Unless of course they aren't at ease with what they are doing with their kids...

Be happy with the way you do things and stop judging what other people do.

SpiceAddict · 14/08/2013 10:16

Gosh I am one of the people the OP is talking about - I am practising maths with my DS so that he (hopefully) gets into the top set.

His reading is very good and he is already in the top set for that, he is in the middle group for maths though and I would like to help him get to the top set if possible.

Its only about 15 mins a day and only if he wants to. Sometimes he doesn't want to and thats fine. If that makes me a tiger mummy then fair enough. I am doing what I think is best in this competitive world.

Saffyz · 14/08/2013 11:07

Each to their own. Maybe her children enjoy the activities and learning?

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