to think having multiple children+baby possibly easier than having 1 baby?

[honeytea]

I have a ds who is 7 months old, we have to go out lits because ds gets frustrated and bored when we stay at home too much so each day we go to baby groups, massage, singing, that sort of thing. When we are home he_crawls about and I sing songs to him, we look at books, he has a treasure basket and lots of lovely toys.

Today we looked after a friend's 2 children (8 and 4) it was such a lovely easy day, we went to the park, watched the kids play on the trampoline, played in tge garden, made cakes, tge 8 year old read books to ds, the 4 year old madetowers for ds to look at push over we made a den in the living room and sang songs together.

It felt so much easier looking after 3, sometimes I find myself looking at ds thinking what shall we do next??! I feel bad but I struggle sometimes with the one sided conversation and looking after older kids at the same time it seemed easier to have kid appropriate conversations with all of them.

Am I being completely naive? Obviously my friend's kids were on their best behavior and tge baby was a novelty to them so they were happy to play nicely with him.

Aibu to think that 2+ kids is easier than 1? my period returned for the first time last month and my hormones are telling me to try for another baby!

Well... you've kind if got a point in some ways.

More children = more work and bring more busy and less bored.

For this reason I really enjoy playdates!

But I'm also fairly terrified about soon to be having 3 under 5/ including 2 under 2.

I find it easier when I have DSS aged 8 and DSS aged 5 as well as 8 mth old DS. They play with him, keep an eye on him and he absolutely worships them both so is happier when they're around.

They don't generate much more laundry or eat that much food and when I need to focus on DS they go off and occupy themselves. The only downside is I'm just waiting for the A&E trip because they haven't tidied up the bloody Lego!

no I think op has a point actually. I have 4 with first 2 16 months apart, 9 year gap and second 2 same gap. mad yes.

but the hardest I found it was when dc1 was ops age.

it's kind of a bit boring and lonely and you have time on your hands thinking what to do next!

the day goes slower with one.

We just had our friends over for dinner, they brought their one year old, ds and friends baby just crawled around after each other wanting to take the toy that the other was playing with.

I think a bigger age gap is needed before the children can start to entertain each other!

yes agree. under 1.5 they usually play side by side and not interactive.

long haul op.😃

Think YANBU in terms of play but probably U in other respects.

Just thinking of this summer ;
Hotel rooms and holidays are cheaper and easier. Sleepovers are easier to arrange once they get to that age - your house is likely to be calmer for children staying at over and children are often easier to settle.
The return sleepover actually gives you a proper night off.
You can do lovely days out/playdates with other children and then give them back and have a quite wind down with just your one.
You can find any old car and still get your child and a friend in.
I have a dog which I find helps with the playing issue. There's always a dog walk when things get to intense inside.

Yes, for me two was easier than one (2 years between mine).

Not practically, but because I had a non-sleeping DD1 and I often found the days long and boring. Felt like the clock was crawling along. By the time I had DD2, DD1 had turned into a wonderful, engaging, interesting toddler who I could 'do things' with all day until DD2 got old enough to be interesting herself!

I always thought babyhood of no.1 was that difficult combination of boring and exhausting. Two was exhausting but interesting, which I found much easier!!

Obviously more than one child is harder to look after than just one. BUT it can definitely be more fun than just one which can make the hardness easier to bear. Plus the older children will have more developed personalities which can be more entertaining.

Yanbu I have five and my first was the hardest, he constantly needed to be entertained, he was like the robot in the film five alive 'input input need more input'

It has got easier with each one, yes it has its moments and the cleaning, cooking and housework is relentless but actually it is easier than when I had just one, I would quite happily have another tbh!

I love my kid, but I do find school holidays particularly taxing with my only DS (5). His friends are all on holiday so it's a hard day's work keeping him amused. It's like a bloody toddler following me around all day. I find myself decamping to the park several hours a day just so I'm not chased around the house with Lego.

Cursing my infertile self for not producing a playmate for DS. :/

I have a four year old and twin almost three year olds, and YABU. It's sweet but honestly, having one person you can strap into a pram/carseat and get on with life, is sooo easy!

My 3 are fab bundles of energy but I can't look away for even a second, and after today I'm ready to run off to the Foreign Legion I'm so exhausted.

I've only got 17wks experience of this mother-of-two malarky, but at present I love it!

When DS1 was 1 I was mind-numbed. His nap/milk/meal routine killed the day and clashed with baby groups. There were some activities I considered joining but he spent 6 months threatening to walk at any moment, and the groups were split by walking.

I find two much more stimulating, I love little babies, but they aren't great for varied conversation. Having the mix of little baby, and the excitement of a toddler who is just learing the art of two-way conversation is a good combination. It obviously has its moments, but seeing the way my two little boys adore eachother already is amazing.

With mundane stuff, if you're changing one nappy, changing a second is fine. Your brain is in the zone, and you're not learning everything from scratch.

I know it's early days and there's plenty more challenging phases to come, but having two isn't double the work and stress of having one.

I found the more children I had the lower my standards got, so I actually enjoyed having them, rather than worry about what stage they should be at or things I should be doing with them. But know I have had my sisters kids over making 5 altogether and it was absolute hell!!

Crikey no!

Agree with the others that for the time blink and you'll miss it they play a game nicely together or you hear them giggling together, its priceless.

But when you spend the rest of the day dealing with 'its not fair, she sat in the middle seat last time' or 'mummy, he's taken the pink spoon and I had it first' and other equally trivial, pointless squabbles, you would give yourright arm to just have one :-)

2nd born SO much easier. YANBU.

In some ways it is, in some ways not. I have a 20 month gap and a 6.5 year gap. I found my first difficult, because he wasn't an easy baby (colic and reflux, cmpi) my second was worse (no reflux or allergies but incredibly demanding and cried constantly/wouldn't sleep) I don't actually remember much of the first 2 years of either of them as I was exhausted and depressed. The older two are also like chalk and cheese so argue constantly and very rarely play together, and dd1 is still very demanding even at 7yo. The baby is a doddle in comparison as she is very easy going and pleasant tempered, rarely cries, and the older two worship the ground she walks on and play with her all the time. So it's actually easier with 3 than with 2 I find because the baby diffuses some of the angst between the older two.
It's a lot more hard work in terms of washing, cleaning, cooking and getting everybody from a to b for clubs and hobbies, and homework can be entertaining with a baby on my knee, but I wouldn't go back to just two again.

You can borrow my stroppy 2 year old and non-sleeping 6 month old anytime, it's really hard work! DS will start crawling in the next few weeks, I'm terrified of having 2 that move :)
I got pg when DD was 9 months old, DD slept through really early and I thought babies were easy - then DS came along.

When I had 3 under 4 it was hell.

Might have been the raging PND though!