AIBUs from parents of fictional children

[ProudAS]

AIBU to be concerned about what DCs are up to? Since we moved to Yorkshire they've been hanging around the railway line most days and not made friends with the local children.

DS came home with a bag of coal which he said was "mined" and whilst he looked like he'd been down a coal mine I suspect it was stolen.

And then there's the station porter who seems to be getting very friendly with them - he's a nice man by all accounts but I can't help feeling suspicious.

not sure if this is AIBU, step-parenting or S and B. I have this mirror which has recently informed me that I am not the fairest of them all!
DSD is so arrogant, only speaks to me under duress and has been posing for hours in front of my mirror. AIBU to send her off into the forest with a huntsman? Is there a new product I should be using?

Ds is being very controlling. He keeps telling me I can't go to the end of the town without him. He's only 3 FFS!

The thing is I've got this great gold dress that I've been dying to wear. AIBU to put it on and just go one day? What's the worst that could happen?

AIBU to wish DH would fix the pinboard in DS's room?
I'd do it myself but he insists he'll do a better job. It's quite loose now and I keep reminding him how awful it would be if it fell on DS in the night..
(that said, it would make holidays a damn sight cheaper..)

hahaahaha some of these are really funny

Blazinstroke. Do you think drugs may be involved? My friends twins were spending a lot of time in the garden with plant pots on their heads, turns out they were involved with weed.

You say he only wears blue stripes? Is there a chance he is being sucked into a gang?

AIBU to worry about DH?

He's quite high up in the Railway Business (he Controls it, really) and despite us living on a fairly small island (you can see the width and breadth of it from a helicopter) he keeps expanding the business. Coupled with his overeating (he's actually rather Fat now, not that I'm shallow enough to stop loving him because of this!) I'm starting to think the pressure is getting to him.

He's convinced that his engines/cranes/vehicles can speak and move for themselves. All he talks about lately is 'being Really Useful' and 'causing Confusion and Delay'. He seems to spend every waking hour out and about on the island and we haven't had a holiday in years, yet we're quite comfortably off (he wears a top hat to work!) so can definitely afford one.

Would it be wrong of me to go off on an extended cruise with one of the young, fit engineers?

AIBU to take my two young daughters miles and miles across country, camping along the way because my husband says there might be some free land for us at the end of the trip if the Government ever sorts its act out?

I have sent my precious ddto a very nice school in Switzerland.

the trouble is they keep writing to me about the curriculum.

They need to pray to a bell, play games every day and sew well, they apparently have to speak French, German and English on alternate days, they have a crimson and blue uniform! and keep being visited by the young doctors from the local San! what's a San.

also more worryingly she fell into lake Lucerne on Monday, was isolated for fruit rash on Tuesday, fell over a cliff on Wednesday, jumped from a burning train on Thursday, was nearly drowned in a flood on Friday and on Saturday during a ramble she was abducted and taken to salt caves by a mad man who sang.

however on Sunday she went for English tea to the house next door the woman living there has huge earphones for hair!!! and writes books. she has 11 children and appears to be quite mad.

I am a bit worried!

I am a pig (please don't judge) and my family are also pigs.

DD is a precocious little madam who, tbh, is starting to piss me right off. She's been at pre-school since forever (it's run by a gazelle, wtf?) and I know she's going to be a little cow (not literally, she'll always be a pig) when she hits secondary school.

DS is a very annoying toddler who only has about three words (does 'rahr' count as a word?) and cries at pretty much everything. Gives me a headache.

DH, I suspect, may be SN. He can't control his chocolate cake intake and goes in a huff at the slightest thing, yet manages to hold down quite a high-powered job. But then, his parents are also bizarre.

How likely would it be for me to find a decent man and a good job in the human world?

Vladthedisorganised

Yeah, thanks Mum. feeling very flat now! Your loving son Stanley!!!

Heartbrokenmum - these days I think your chances of a good job really depend on how computer-literate you are.

AIBU not to tell DD who her father is? Frankly, I'm not really sure myself...

I was a bit of a slapper in my youth and it could be one of three - however, we have a big family event coming up and they've all turned up for it!

DD doesn't seem to have a clue who they are, if I just sing at them a bit and hide them in the attic will it be OK?

thebody, why don't you try asking the school for their health and safety policy? A San is a dating agency, since you ask. There was one at my DDs' old school on the Welsh borders.

thebody, your dd's little adventures were easily cured with my doses of syrup of figs and caster oil - no need to worry. I also got another girl to sing to sing to her, just in case.

By the way, your dd is engaged. To a doctor.

DD (15, won't be 16 til next summer) has just been offered a job teaching in a school in the next town. She'll have to stay with the head of the governors and his wife, and they only have one bedroom so she'll be sleeping behind a curtain in their room. The wife seems a bit volatile, but you know, it's high time DD was earning her keep. AIBU to make her go?

clarinet, I have asked but the joint heads,(one a tall athletic woman with white hair,Red strands showing through) and the other a woman with a beautiful voice and grey/ blue eyes that have never yet needed glasses) just laughed at me and both away as lightly as any school girl.

I did hear the school was on the Welsh borders but left due to septic drains and went to an island with lots of monks and the occasional nun.

in the prospectus it says the girls will be turned out good wives and mothers and only marry doctors, local barons and bank managers so that's reassuring I suppose.

the author next door seems nice but is at all the prefects meetings. she also sings, a lot.

My husband has given up his very well-paid but stressful job in London and moves us to a farm in Somerset. The children have taken to it amazingly well and quickly befriended all the yokels locals.

However, I am quite concerned about their newest acquaintance. The children call him the 'hermit' but afaic he's just a smelly old tramp who lives in a cave. My daughter has knitted him a blanket. AIBU to prevent her from giving it to him?

MatronLloyd, thank you so much. I heard you were a tyrant who held juniors noses to take medicine so am glad you sound nice.

thank you and I always hoped dd married young like the author next door and has 20 children. we all love big families as they are so much easier than small ones.

Hmmm thebody I would avoid that school if I were you ... the authoress you speak of has a very unsavoury husband who drugs her coffee without telling her when he decides she is "taking on too much". I also heard rumours that he decided to pursue her to marry him when she was 15 or 16 and he was already a qualified doctor in his late twenties...

My daughter Darrell is a po faced PITA. Ever since she started school she's been 'head girl' this, 'head of sports' that and never puts a bloody foot wrong. her father is off being a Consultant in London (probably shagging the nurses) and leaving me in the family home in the middle of sodding nowhere. I'm afraid I've turned to drink :( I only have her equally smarmy little sister Felicity at home (guess this may out me but I'm so fed up...) and some do gooding parent of Darrell's friend to talk to - she keeps 'popping round' to remind me how simply marvellous the girls are. WIBU to send a packet of cannabis to Darrell and an anonymous note to the head telling her the upper third are into drugs? Or am I having a bit of a breakdown :(

Should I be concerned about my son? There's nothing wrong with him physically, but he lies in bed all day and abuses the staff emotionally, yelling at them and throwing huge temper tantrums. I can't stand the sight of him as he reminds me of my dead wife and I have adopted my niece from India to come and live with me, although of course I have not yet seen her or allowed her to see my DS. I feel it would be best if we all lived in our separate wings of the house and got on with it. AIBU?

VeryDullNameChange and LurcioLovesFrankie

I quite agree that Very's DD needs to be safely betrothed asap - you never know what class of desperate rake might pop up in the neighbourhood.

Perhaps you could also advise me on a problem with my DDs? DD2 is a bubbly, happy girl - much better company than her prim and proper sister. She had been dating a very eligible young man and they'd even booked a holiday together - but now bloody DD1 has gone and thrown a right spanner in the works and run off to the continent with DD2's boyfriend!

AIBU to retreat to my chamber with the vapours and hope that a kindly uncle or sardonic aristocrat will get involved to sort the whole mess out?

I actually can't write as laughing toomuch. 😃