AIBUs from parents of fictional children

[ProudAS]

AIBU to be concerned about what DCs are up to? Since we moved to Yorkshire they've been hanging around the railway line most days and not made friends with the local children.

DS came home with a bag of coal which he said was "mined" and whilst he looked like he'd been down a coal mine I suspect it was stolen.

And then there's the station porter who seems to be getting very friendly with them - he's a nice man by all accounts but I can't help feeling suspicious.

I am afraid my daughter has become sexually active with her boyfriend Michael she is quite young, however, I know it is inevitable and they are in a relationship. What is worrying me is that I read in her diary (I know, nothing good comes of snooping) and she keeps mentioning a Ralph. I am concerned she is now seeing two boys. Would I BU to give her the sex talk with some strong moral overtones about monogamous relationships?

The parents of fictional children are usually conveniently dead, they have little to say for themselves.

I've recently got back in touch with my ex, I LTB after he got really drunk and stupid about 19 years ago. He is doing really well for himself and hasn't touched a drop of drink since that day.

The only thing is he thinks my DD is his, AIBU to let him go on thinking this? She's a bit upset at the thought of calling him Dad but I can't see the problem, it's not as if her real father is ever going to turn up after he was lost at sea.

Ev1|Edna

I must make sure there is plenty in the fridge and lots to drink for our friend tiger who will be coming over later to see the kids.

VeryDullNameChange - speaking as your nearest neighbour, please believe that I have your best interests at heart. I fear your plan may misfire. Your DD is more than likely to be more like her mama than you realise, fall for the first rake who crosses her path, and the big danger is that, if she doesn't not accept a carte blanche from him, he may even offer to marry him. I'd suggest setting her up with my DS to pre-empt later problems, but he's got a bit of a Corsair thing going at the moment, and frankly, is neither use nor ornament.

AIBU
to expect my dd and her cousins to have at least one holiday without an adventure. They seem to keep getting mixed up with thieves, wherever they go. Dh doesn't help, if he was less interested in his experiments and spent time with his dd and cousins when they stayed, then the adventures may not happen.

AIBU to insist that DD change her clothes? She has been wearing the same outfit since 1969. A bright orange roll neck jumper that frankly does nothing for her.
I think it's a peer group thing as her friends don't seem to change either, two of her friends are quite well turned out but one is mess.
DD is a bright girl but seems to waste a lot of time with her mates driving around in a campervan and meddling into other people's business.

AIBU? DH and I both work outside the home and have one DD. She has always been slightly precocious (her first words were 'mummy! it's pate de fois GRAH, not pate de fois GRAS!' and it always took ages to comb her hair, I do like little girls with long hair, but the amount of tea tree conditioner and hours with a tangle teaser started to put a dent in our wages as Dental practitioners.

We decided to send her away to boarding school as she had started to display worrying tendencies based on absurd notions of the supernatural - frankly it was a bit of a relief, although she seemed absolutely incapable of sending an email - once a week an owl flies down the chimney with a handwritten letter on parchment. She prattles on incessantly about her two best friends, both boys - and doesn't seem to have any female friends at all and is starting to spend most of the summer holidays at one of the boys parents.

AIBU to forget all about her?

Look, I don't care about them. Ever since I saw Something Nasty in the Woodshed I have had no understanding or consideration at all from my family. They don't seem to realise how delicate my nerves are. The DC just let the porridge boil over and want to break their mother's heart.

Now we have this ridiculous Girl staying who just wants to make conversation all the time. She'll be trouble, you mark my words.

Did I mention the woodshed?

Not to mention talking rabbits vijac

Snapespeare, perhaps a nice long holiday to somewhere like Australia would make you come back refreshed and able to deal with things again. If you are too embarrassed about your daughter you could always go under an assumed name. Just forget about her for a while.

AIBU to just want the best for my DS1? I'll admit I might be being a little PFB, but surely not U...

The thing is, I was in a bad marriage; there was DV, my XH was quite the drinker, and never really got over his first love. So ok, maybe I had an affair. With my DB (the beautiful twin, not the creepy little dwarf). But you can't judge me. You weren't there! And yes, maybe the three DC I have don't really resemble XH, but no one seems to have questioned it. Well, not for long.

The thing is, I've spent so long protecting DS1 from anyone finding out our secret, I didn't notice what he was growing into. He's taken over XH's business and, to be honest with you, I'm a little frightened of him. Now there's this guy from Oop North poking around, he was friends with XH and I have a terrible suspicion he knows the truth about the DC's parentage.

I don't know what to do, I mean I have to put my family first, don't I?

clothfairy - instead of worrying about her clothes, I really think you should be looking into contacts for your poor dd. She's forever losing her glasses.

Snapespeare, YANBU, provided she's got a wand and a magical bag she'll be just fine.

AIBU to send just my DD2 for an lovely extended summer holiday in the country? I have seven dc and can't afford to send them all, plus I need DD1 at home to help me scrub behind the little ones ears (I am a WAHM doing washing & ironing). It means DH will have to save longer to start the smallholding he wants (whole other thread!!) but she's the brightest of the lot and I think is worth the investment cos she might get into grammar school.

Actually I could murder the little sod. Ok, I wasn't faithful to his mother and she found out, so I was in the doghouse for a bit. ok, perhaps we both spoiled him during that time. But I am keen to get back together with my DW and he keeps hiding letters, or dropping massive hints. Last week was a corker, he bats his goo-goo blue eyes and asks if he could take a new toy to bed with him. "Ooh" go all the old bags, "the child is just like his father. Can't see anything beautiful without taking it to bed". Cheers, ladies. Right in front of my DexW.

Can't a chap have a mistress, FFS? I am going to have to make the ultimate sacrifice and have another's bloody DC. The next nanny is coming equipped with a ball and chain, and two gags. Blessing, my foot..

Badpoet, so long as you warn her that tying toddlers to suitcases isn't really the best form of childcare - you know how dreamy she can be!

Children don't get enough exercise these days. Can't see what is wrong with involving the bloodhounds. Lovely animals.

Anyway, all the brats got back OK. I think. Can't quite remember how many there are.

The staff can count 'em tomorrow at the chub fuddling.

Oh dear, I do feel I have taken on too much.

In a moment of mistaken kindness I offered to give my greatniece and my two greatnephews a home over the summer so that their mother could concentrate on her work in London. Remembering the sedate and well behaved little girls of my young days, and reflecting that the boys would at least be spending most of their time out of doors, I thought that I and my faithful maid Beatrice would be able to manage without too much disruption to our daily routine.

This prediction has not been fulfilled. Despite them shooting off down the village at every possible opportunity the state of their bedroom is filthy- and as for the bed itself you would not believe it! The bedclothes look as if they had rolled them in city grime and run them through the hedges and yet I know they have not left the house. The last straw was reached this morning when my Beatrice marched in and reported that the cover and the sheets were drenched in seawater and full of sand! We are miles from the sea, in the heart of rural Bedfordshire! Beatrice is now threatening to give notice.

And yet I do feel so bad about letting my poor niece down: she must really need a bit of peace and quiet away from these dreadful children.

WIBU to encourage my friend the piano teacher, a most respectable lady, to have them over for tea as often as possible to take some of the pressure off me? As an elderly spinster lady I am sure she would have a steadying influence on them.

Good idea Badpoet. I will take her for contacts today, though a little worried about her picking up eye infections. There's a lot of dog hair in that campervan.

Though come to think of it, the younger boy seemed very jumpy last time he had been to tea with Miss P.

I'm having problems with the others as well come to think of it. They've formed a little gang with their friends, which is fine I guess but they're always in the shed at the end of the garden - I popped down there the other day with some home made lemonade (cook is a marvel) and noticed the initials on the door - 'SS'. All a bit worrying - what with the tinies befriending 'chinky' and this lot modelling themselves on Nazi Germany, I wonder if we should maybe move...

AIBU to lock my Dneice in the Red Room and then send her to an oprhanage? She does try my patience so!

AIBU to shag the chimney sweep?

DH is 'something big in the city' ( i don't want to say too much for fear of outing myself) and works very long hours - he hardly engages with the children at all and is also emotionally distant to me. I am very active in national feminist politics and spend a great deal of time organising demonstrations and chaining myself to railings.

We have two DCs, who are absolute darlings... our last nanny walked out without giving any notice (could someone legal possibly advise whether I can sue her for breach of contract?) over some silly misunderstanding about a toad on her bed.

We have recently acquired a new nanny who is practically perfect in every way. She has a 'friend' named Bert who is somewhat lower class...but there's something about his jaunty cock-er-nee accent that sets my juices flowing.

I could do with a flirtation, but am worried about the children and....worse still the new nanny finding out. WIBU to ask him to sweep my chimney?

Eetraceyluv you are clearly a brick!

AIBU to have not seen my son for weeks - last I heard he was off on a raft down the Mississippi River with an escaped slave but tbh I do not mind as it leaves me more money for alcohol