AIBUs from parents of fictional children

[ProudAS]

AIBU to be concerned about what DCs are up to? Since we moved to Yorkshire they've been hanging around the railway line most days and not made friends with the local children.

DS came home with a bag of coal which he said was "mined" and whilst he looked like he'd been down a coal mine I suspect it was stolen.

And then there's the station porter who seems to be getting very friendly with them - he's a nice man by all accounts but I can't help feeling suspicious.

For fucks sake . My daughter is 12 and missing ...oh and she's pregnant (NOT by me despite what the Fucking interfering police hitch thinks)

I shot several dogs, beat up a woman and my son but it hasn't helped

I got several of my coworkers ( I own a pharmaceutical company) to look for her by they ended up chasing a bloody boy and killing. His ungreatful birch of a mother won't take the money I offered her.

A gang of hairy feminist have moved onto my land and I think the police bitch may have a personal vendetta against me

What should I do?

AIBU here? I'm worried about my DD. Since I got divorced from her cheating father she has changed from a popular cheerleader to a troublemaker! She got expelled from her nice school for setting fire to the gym (says it was full of asbestos) at her school prom. I had to move us to the suburbs and she has since become friends with some frankly strange children, one is very polite but her mother named her after a tree...

She climbs out of her window every night to go to some shady nightclub and comes back with ripped and stained clothes and covered with bruises.

She also has a really indepth thing going on with her English school librarian (who is hot) and keeps sighing over an Irish lad with a really effeminate name...

Should I ship her off to a "home"?

Elsie, I called mine Millicent Margaret Amanda and after some slight reticence from the ILs, everyone seems fine with it..

AIBU to think DS's teachers are taking the piss?
Long story: the boys had an outing to a nature reserve and the school were desperate for parent helpers. After much guilt-tripping on the part of the school I was the only parent who turned up. The teachers bundled us all on a frankly unsafe plane which crashed. The boys were already playing up on the flight and if anything their behaviour has gone downhill since. I'm hiding under a bit of wreckage while they run riot around the island. That's the last time I help out on any school trips!

AIBU or does she definitely need a therapist?

My daughter walks around thinking shes a doctor and that shes treating her toys in the playhouse in the garden. Just imagination you think?

These toys appear in different places everytime i go outside but she hasn't moved at all. AND she says the toys talk back to her.

Theres alot of singing as well.

DCs mother died and have done my best to raise them alone. We live in quite a remote spot and so they have not had many friends to play with. I am often away from home on business and like to bring them a little gift on my return. On one such trip to Liverpool I found a little boy( of African extraction) and thought he would make a lovely plaything for them. DD was thrilled but DS was not impressed ( possibly racist). DD spends all her time with new friend( they are extremely close) always out on the wild and windy moors, rolling in green. She has a temper, like her jealousy too hard, too greedy.
AIBU to think this may not end well and DS may wish to take his revenge in the future. Should I take the foundling back to the docks? Any advice greatly received.

DH and I decided when we got married that we would remain child free in order to concentrate on our successful professional careers.

But recently I've been haunted with dreams and thoughts about the DD we could have had. I dismissed them as pre-menopausal symptoms but it turns out that DH has been having the same dreams, down to the ludicrous distinctive name she'd have and the name of the specialist G&T boarding school we'd have sent her to. Clearly we need psychiatric help but I'm worried about our professional reputation if it gets out. Would you be happy to go to a dentist with MH issues?

Baby names: what does everyone think of Dick and Fanny for twins?

Oh my son is the devil incarnate. I really think i'm going to have to put him in a borstal. All he does is run around the town and cause problems so we have to keep calling the fire brigade out. He seems to love setting fires so much they know him by name.

Then again i did have a fling with one of the firemen once and my DS looks very similar to the most popular fireman....

I married XDW much against my friends' and families' advice as they said that we were temperamentally unsuited. However I was so delighted that such a beauty had accepted me that I ignored them.

Several years and three DC later she has proved them right by running off with a richer man. I feel that this will set a terrible example to the DC, especially DD. WIBU to simply tell them that XDW is dead and swear the neighbours to secrecy? The dull young man next door thinks IABU, and the no good will come if it, but I've pointed out to him that if he marries DD, and never lets her leave the area then she need never find out the truth.

WIBU to send my elder daughter to boarding school? She used to be so sensible but since I had another baby she's behaving very differently, once she pinched the baby and she pretends she doesn't have a sister. For some reason she's not happy about being sent away, something about being pushed out. I sent her to a nice school that my friends daughter goes to, she's got a good heart but a fiery temper, her daddy's a doctor. My daughter complained of a tummy ache last time I saw her but I'm sure she's just being silly.

We're in the SW.

I woke up this morning to find DD has covered everything with scribbles from a big purple crayon. Even worse, my DH appears to have been replaced by a crayon figure and there is a big crayoned crocodile sitting on my doorstep. DD has not drawn anything to feed it with.

OK, so maybe I shouldn't have done all those hallucinogens whilst pregnant. And maybe I should have levelled with DS that his father is, in fact, in prison (told him he was off in the wars). And SUE ME, I don't have a lot of money for toys, so this book about chivalry from the charity shop seemed like a good idea.

But seriously, if I have to clear up one more mess or get my kid out of trouble ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to burn that damned book and put my kid up for adoption. I cringe whenever I hear "I'm [DS] the Knight, and my mission is ..." and just want to curl into a little ball and let the next 20 minutes happen to somebody else, please, anybody esp the prisonbitch twunt.

And it's not just the antics or the entitled attitude of my little asshole of a son, it's the weird world he's concocted for himself! And I'm a little that his imaginary enabling friend (a gay rastafarian dragon) has more backstory than his imaginary sister! And that he reckons the bigger kid down the hall is stupid just because he's a different colour. He insists on calling the cats Yip and Yap instead of Yin and Yang. He believes that everybody in medieval times was a vegetarian and that queens walked whilst kids rode horses.

I could go on, but he's just yelled "Time to be a knight and do it right!" which usually means "Mum, come fix it NOW". I need some more .

Chelvis , My advice to you is to send her on a grand European Adventure when she recovers. Months spent looking after a spoiled brat called Amy in an atmosphere of typhoid is the best way to recover from Paralysis and boarding school IMHO.

AIBU to be feeling a bit stressed out by everything at the moment? I am a widower as my DW died when DD was young. I also have a DS. My next door neighbour's DN aways comes to stay in the summer and is here this year- this is a bit of a problem as the DN has a vivid imagination and get my kids into all kinds of mischief (although TBF my DD needs no encouragement). The three kids are obsessed with our other neighbours who have a grown-up son who lives at home. We don't see him but I gather he has SN. I feel I constantly have to keep an eye on them as they are always hanging around there.
The thing is I don't need this at the moment as I am a lawyer and I have the most difficult case of my life. I'm defending a guy who was accused of rape but I am sure in this case he was innocent. To make it more complicated he is black and there is a LOT of racisim in this town (think UKIP x10000). I think the girl only accused him because she is petrified of her achoholic father (I'm not victim blaming here, I understand her POV).
I have a bad feeling about this case and what could happen. I always try to do the right thing but this feels like it could have a bit impact in all our lives. WWYD?

EeTraceyluv, those are great but I'd call them Frances and Richard on their birth certificates, then that gives them other options when they're older (eg Frannie and Rick).

Please tell me to butt out but I'm worried...

My (grown up) DD has recently met a new guy. I'm not sure about him. Although he's very good looking and extremely rich I'm worried that he is having a negative effect on my daughter as he's very dominant. Admittedly she is a bit of a wet fish sometimes but she's changed. Whenever she visits she looks very tired and has a sort of funny pained walk. The poor thing is also getting terrible bouts of cystitis- could it be stress related?

Also, whenever they are together they always disappear off and come back looking very flustered like they have been exercising or something.

The other day, I'm sure I saw a riding crop lying around at his place which is very odd, I didn't think they were into horse riding.

Aibu to think it's a bit odd that a man called moon faced comes to call on my children?

Hmm, maybe. The other two have this weird 'thing' about a chair in the playroom. They also show racist undertones - saying they have a chum called 'chinky'. I've never met this friend, but wonder whether to bring up the fact that such a nickname may not be wholly appropriate..

My DIL has quite blatantly refused to invite me to her pfb's christening, (would she treat her own dm like this?! I think not!) and ds is a total wimp who won't argue with her. AIBU to hide a spiked sewing kit in their home that at some point in the future will probably stick dgc and put her and the entire kingdom into an enchanted sleep for years until some persistent and suitably valiant man manages to locate and kiss dgc? (Good luck with that.)

Or should I chill out, open another bottle of wine and ring DIL to explain how I feel tomorrow when sober?

Dd3 has just passed away, aibu to tell dd4 not to come home from her extended European holiday for the funeral? She is with my elderly SIL, who I don't think would last the journey. Although she has got a huge house which would just do for dd2 and take her mind off that German bloke.

My friend and her brother have adopted a skinny ginger girl with the most horrific temper! She called me fat and said I hadn't a spark of imagination and said I was rude, all because I pointed out that she wasn't exactly a looker! Wibu to tell everyone in the village how dreadful she is?

vijac - and that strange little man with the saucepans? I'd say very odd indeed. And with the children's wild talk of magical lands atop a giant tree, I'd strongly suspect the Brownies' toadstools not only being used as seating, but consumed also!

AIBU? DS has lost all his fingers to the Long Legged Scissor Man and I TOLD him it would happen...so AIBU to not bother buying him gloves this winter?

I am a bit worried about my neighbour and her son. She has clear MH issues and the poor little lad is her only carer. He has just brought her in and sat her on my sofa, and cleared off.

The thing is, I know he has got a knife. He keeps muttering about how subtle it is, and how he can slice through the universe with it. Sounds like drugs to me. There's that little madam who lives down in a college and hangs out with the local travelling families, I think she's behind this.

Should I call SS? Ad wtf am I meant to do with his mother for the rest of the series?

Also, I'd like to share about my nephew. Lovely boy, adopted and you can tell as he's not of the same, not so much ethic group as his parents, more different species, really.

He's gone off to the big city to join the police force. It's a rough place, he's not getting his usual healthy bread diet, sometimes he's clearly just been living off rats onna stick. Works with all sorts, including the undead and trolls, and he is such an innocent boy, i cant help worrying. Now he's in a relationship with a lovely girl but theres something odd about her. Apparently she gets pre-lunar tension, and can be very challenging at certain times of the month. AIBU to be concerned about the grandchildren?