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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To allow DD1 to ask them for money? Or other options?

69 replies

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 13/08/2013 13:04

She has an IPad, she saved for ages, worked for neighbours, didn't spend a penny, did extra chores and eventually bought an IPad. She bought one costing £400 after a lot of saving and work. I couldn't afford one like that, although I'm lucky enough to have one which I won as a prize.

She was staying with my niece and her children, along with DD2 and DS, she's recently turned 16. On that day, DS and DD2 were ill and weren't there (I'd come and took them back, turned out to be a stomach but, thankfully no one else in either family caught it!) so it was DD1 and the three children, who are 11, 9 and 9.

She let them go on her IPad as she usually does and is ver careful about it. She trusted them with it, they weren't young enough not to know not to leave it around.

They ran off somewhere for supper and left it lying around. Cue my niece slipping on it (she has some bruises as a result but thankfully not too hurt) and cracking it, it's workable but the screen is damaged and DD1 is heartbroken that the thing she saved up for, for ages and ages, put so much effort into getting, and really treasures, is now like this.

Apparently it's playing the blame game to ask for money (well, not exactly- niece said 'lets not start on the blame game!' when DD1 found out). At the time, DD1 was on their computer to email me because she wanted to let them play. No one disputes the fact that my niece's children left it there.

There are a few options. Leave it cracked. Pay for a replacement (Apple dont repair) or shell out money to pay for a repair (therefore voiding the warranty). We current,y don't have the money for either a replacement or a repair.

AIBU to think that, as they left it there and are of a responsible age, they should pay? I might be bring grabby and emotional because DD1 is very, very upset, and that could be clouding my view and I could be being irrational. But DD1 was trying to be nice (she struggles to connect to them as the age gap is 7yrs and 5yrs and they are also quite footbally boys unlike DD1, although DD2 is basically,y best friends with them all!) and thought that they were old enough to not leave it lying on the floor, and because they weren't acting responsible for their age, now she's left with a cracked IPad.

I don't know if it's their fault, DD1's fault (I don't see how, but it could be argued, I guess) or nobody's fault (more likely a mix of having more foresight, and not being responsible and everything) but we still have a cracked IPad and ideally would like to get the replacement or repair. DD1 is happy for them to pay for a refurbished IPad Mini for example (so £229 for refurbished) between them- and not all the money, but some of it, even if just a quarter of it or anything.

We wasted money already as they had some booked events planned for DD2 and DS which they couldn't go to due to being ill, which I paid them for ,mbut we aren't in the good books.

So AIBU and wwyd?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 13/08/2013 13:08

Well of course your niece doesn't want to play the blame game! She should replace the iPad and keep the other if she wants. Repairing is no good if your warranty is then ineffective.

Is her home insured? Could she claim on that, if so?

Either way it's her responsibility to pay it, as far as I can see.

MrsPatrickDempsey · 13/08/2013 13:11

Agree with Imperial. I really feel for joy DD.

MrsPatrickDempsey · 13/08/2013 13:11

your

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/08/2013 13:12

Tough one. I have just bought myself an i pad and am very careful with it....my DS (10) uses it but I still moniter where it is, what he is doing with it etc etc - I wouldn't just give him it and expect it to be ok, although it would.

Also, if I happened to tread on someone elses i pad that they left on the floor I would not be impressed about being asked to pay for it.

I can see how upsetting it is for your DD but at the end of the day, if it is something she valued, worked hard for then she really should have been a bit more diligent about its whereabouts, kids of 9 are not responsible enough in my eyes to really look after something they have been lent.

Sorry but your DD shouldnt have let them borrow it out of her view.

ImperialBlether · 13/08/2013 13:12

I imagine though that if you say, "Replace the iPad and you can keep the old one" she will say, "What's the point in that? It's useless!" Your point, precisely.

TealRhino · 13/08/2013 13:12

I too agree with Imperial. I think your niece is being very unreasonable. If my child broke anything belonging to someone else I would instantly offer to replace it.

Failing that, can you claim on your home insurance for it? Some policies insure items when they are lost/damaged outside of the home too.

Pinkponiesrock · 13/08/2013 13:14

My kids dropped mine and our insurance paid out for a new one, its worth a try.

EasterHoliday · 13/08/2013 13:14

leaving it cracked isn't a disaster is it? how badly cracked is it?

LoganMummy · 13/08/2013 13:14

I would speak to your niece - see if you can get something sorted. As suggested above I think home insurance would be a good solution.

KristinaM · 13/08/2013 13:16

Yes of course she shoudl pay. They are quite hard to break BTW, my children are 13, 9 and 7 and have been playing with mine every day for years ( since they first came out, perhaps 4 years ??? ) and no breakages ever. And they are not especially careful children

maja00 · 13/08/2013 13:18

Accidents happen. Ultimately, it was your DD's responsibility, not your niece's, and the 9 and 11 year olds are too young to cough up that sort of money.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 13/08/2013 13:18

It's not too badly cracked but noticeable and quite deep, and has a crack across the camera on the front, no damage on back. It's useable but pressing on it and reactions seem mildly slower ifyswim.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 13/08/2013 13:19

So if someone brought an iPad to your house and your children broke it, would you think it was their responsibility, maja?

ilovesooty · 13/08/2013 13:20

At 9 and 11 I think they are quite old enough not to leave it lying about where it can be damaged. I think your niece should be exploring what contribution she can make towards putting things right.

maja00 · 13/08/2013 13:23

Yes Imperial. If I had an iPad (or anything else costing £400) I would supervise children on it closely. Unless I asked to borrow it and then let my children play with it, I would not take responsibility.

ImperialBlether · 13/08/2013 13:26

Just realised it was your niece herself who slipped on it. There's no way she shouldn't be paying up.

PurplePaint · 13/08/2013 13:29

Have you spoken to the Apple genius bar? My iphone's screen cracked and they gave me a replacement for about £140 from memory -much cheaper than it would have been to get a new one via my phone company.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 13/08/2013 13:30

To put it in perspective, they've all earned money towards buying an iPod a bit ago (they live in a community where this is a whole lot easier in a way that people know each other and when doing jobs for money, you'd be able to ask anyone in your village because you know them, however as they are younger, the jobs they could do are a whole lot less so they undoubtedly had to work very, very hard) and I don't think they'd mind asking us if we broke it.

The thing is, I can't decide. To me, 9 and 11yos are responsible enough to not leave, but I can imagine it easily- your parents call you for dinner and you're hungry and you don't think and run off. My niece wasn't looking but I don't really blame her, they were sitting on the floor I think (although my DD1 thought they were sitting in the sofa). She could have been more responsible, but they'd been begging and I guess age wise they're not too young. They don't like her looking over them all the time tbh, but she could have sat in the same room even, or asked where they left the IPad at supper.

OP posts:
ZutAlorsDidier · 13/08/2013 13:30

I think your niece should pay, but I think it will be practically impossible to ask her to pay.
I think you could commiserate with your daughter but very gently make the point (while not blaming her) that she should have kept it on her. (I would have).
It's the kids' fault so their mum's responsibility but she has made her position clear and if you try to make her pay now, it will cause a rift.

madrose · 13/08/2013 13:31

You can get them fixed. on average about fifty pounds. Maybe they maybe willing to contribute to repair costs.

Hulababy · 13/08/2013 13:37

Niece should have offered to pay straight away. 11y and 9y are plenty old enough to know not to leave it on the floor and should be trustworthy enough to leave alone with it. Dd is 11y and has her own iPad and looks after it very well. She's used mine for years before with no issues on her not being trustworthy - so ime def not too young intake responsibility.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 13/08/2013 13:48

Yes, I think that's what will end up happening Zut I think she's blaming herself too. I think it will be a sad lesson for her, but if it was completely unusable, I'd push the point more.

OP posts:
DelayedActionMouseMaker · 13/08/2013 13:50

If niece was my daughter I'd have offered to pay for it straight away, ESP knowing now hard your dd had worked to get it. She can claim it on her house insurance no? I think if I were you I'd have a word with the mum and explain how devastated your dd is and ask if she has house insurance which will cover it...though I do appreciate this may be awkward.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 13/08/2013 13:54

Can you claim on insurance? We were able to do that when my son poured hot chocolate into a laptop as we have accidental damage cover which includes "damage from careless children".

Pigsmummy · 13/08/2013 13:56

I would get a quote for a repair and ask niece for a contribution, it will invalidate the warrenty but that won't be valid for longer than 12 months anyhow.