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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To allow DD1 to ask them for money? Or other options?

69 replies

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 13/08/2013 13:04

She has an IPad, she saved for ages, worked for neighbours, didn't spend a penny, did extra chores and eventually bought an IPad. She bought one costing £400 after a lot of saving and work. I couldn't afford one like that, although I'm lucky enough to have one which I won as a prize.

She was staying with my niece and her children, along with DD2 and DS, she's recently turned 16. On that day, DS and DD2 were ill and weren't there (I'd come and took them back, turned out to be a stomach but, thankfully no one else in either family caught it!) so it was DD1 and the three children, who are 11, 9 and 9.

She let them go on her IPad as she usually does and is ver careful about it. She trusted them with it, they weren't young enough not to know not to leave it around.

They ran off somewhere for supper and left it lying around. Cue my niece slipping on it (she has some bruises as a result but thankfully not too hurt) and cracking it, it's workable but the screen is damaged and DD1 is heartbroken that the thing she saved up for, for ages and ages, put so much effort into getting, and really treasures, is now like this.

Apparently it's playing the blame game to ask for money (well, not exactly- niece said 'lets not start on the blame game!' when DD1 found out). At the time, DD1 was on their computer to email me because she wanted to let them play. No one disputes the fact that my niece's children left it there.

There are a few options. Leave it cracked. Pay for a replacement (Apple dont repair) or shell out money to pay for a repair (therefore voiding the warranty). We current,y don't have the money for either a replacement or a repair.

AIBU to think that, as they left it there and are of a responsible age, they should pay? I might be bring grabby and emotional because DD1 is very, very upset, and that could be clouding my view and I could be being irrational. But DD1 was trying to be nice (she struggles to connect to them as the age gap is 7yrs and 5yrs and they are also quite footbally boys unlike DD1, although DD2 is basically,y best friends with them all!) and thought that they were old enough to not leave it lying on the floor, and because they weren't acting responsible for their age, now she's left with a cracked IPad.

I don't know if it's their fault, DD1's fault (I don't see how, but it could be argued, I guess) or nobody's fault (more likely a mix of having more foresight, and not being responsible and everything) but we still have a cracked IPad and ideally would like to get the replacement or repair. DD1 is happy for them to pay for a refurbished IPad Mini for example (so £229 for refurbished) between them- and not all the money, but some of it, even if just a quarter of it or anything.

We wasted money already as they had some booked events planned for DD2 and DS which they couldn't go to due to being ill, which I paid them for ,mbut we aren't in the good books.

So AIBU and wwyd?

OP posts:
edam · 13/08/2013 13:57

Your niece is a cow. 'Let's not play the blame game?' - that's an admission that there is indeed blame here and she's trying to avoid it.

Your niece's kids left it lying around, your niece then slipped and broke it - yes, perhaps dd should have been careful about watching the kids to see where the iPad was, but so should your niece have looked where she was going! In your niece's shoes, especially knowing how your dd had worked and saved up for it, I'd offer to pay for a repair, or at least go halves.

Your dd was being kind to your niece's kids, and this is how your niece repays her? Mean.

ImperialBlether · 13/08/2013 14:08

Is your niece the parent of the children? Does she work?

blueemerald · 13/08/2013 14:12

Of course a neurotypical 9 year old is old enough to know not to leave such an expensive item on the floor! Good lord, what are we raising?! I've worked with several children with severe SEN (developmentally much younger than their chronological age- think a 13 year old who functions on a 5 year old level) and never had an Ipad left on the floor!

If the 9 year old had dropped it and cracked it that might be different as young children can be uncoordinated and accidents happen; but to purposefully put/leave it on the floor is ridiculous! I'd bet my bottom dollar they wouldn't do that with something that belonged to them! (Sorry for the multiple exclamation marks but this has riled me.) The niece should pay, not because she slipped on it but because it should not have been on the floor in the first place. Also, children learn to treat other people's possessions (and their own come to that) with respect from their parents....

I would request a repair, even if it voids the warranty and make it clear that such items will not be lent to the family again.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 13/08/2013 14:13

Yes, the parent of the children, along with her partner, and they both work.

I'm leaning towards the repair now, thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Dominodonkey · 13/08/2013 14:19

Definitely nbu - Only possible get out your niece has is if she specifically told your DD not to lend it to her children as they were not responsible/coordinated enough to handle it. If not, they were careless, she was careless. Her fault - no question.

holidaysarenice · 13/08/2013 14:20

I would ask her if she has house insurance first without mentioning anything else (otherwise she'll tell you she doesn't.)

When she confirms just say, 'r u claiming on that instead of paying for the ipad'

Its time to get shitty, I wouldn't want to pay for something I stood on if I thought I cud get away with it. Howvever I know that I should so therefore I would.

Time to be the spokesperson for ur daughter, who they are taking advantage of because she is young.

AlpacaLunchYoubringyourbooster · 13/08/2013 14:21

Do you know anyone reasonably tech savvy?

DH buys faulty units and repairs them sometimes, they aren't that difficult to replace, plenty of videos on you tube and the screens can be bought relatively cheap as are the replacement kits (suckers etc)

There are some local phone repair shops to us that would do ipads - perhaps niece can pay for the repair?

Fakebook · 13/08/2013 14:24

Your niece slipped on it and her children left it lying around on the flipping floor?! Ofcourse she should pay for it! I can't believe she's not even offering. How rude.

Stinkyminkymoo · 13/08/2013 14:24

I feel very sorry for your dd Hmm £400 is a lot for a child to earn and save up.

I have no constructive advice, but if I were you I'd be disappointed at the other children's lack of responsibility, at 9 years old I was responsible enough to look after someone else's pony and ride it in my own. Not the same I know, but at what point should a child be responsible? Disgraceful behaviour by the children's parents too.

whois · 13/08/2013 14:26

9 and 11 is certainly old enough to know not o leave iPad on the floor!

No way should your DD be left with a broken iPad die to the carelessness of others. They should obviously pay for a new one or a repair. Fucking ridiculous they haven't offered already.

cathpip · 13/08/2013 14:31

If my two children had been allowed to borrow an iPad from a friend, I would fully expect them to give it back to the friend once they had finished playing with it. They are 9 and 7 not 2, so perfectly capable of looking after other peoples belongings, my 4 year old knows not to leave an iPad on the floor, even when he's been called threw for supper. Accidents do happen, but if a friends property had been damaged at my house because of my childrens thoughtlessness I would be mortified and seeking a repair/replacement. The fact that your niece has stated about the blame game suggests that she knows she needs to sort it but wants to get out of it. Home insurance is the way forward, and if you have to claim on yours the least your niece could do is pay the excess.

Chattymummyhere · 13/08/2013 15:04

I think they need to pay for a replacement.. Yes it is your dd's item however there was a suitable adult to watch the younger children their own mother!! She should pay in full for a new one otherwise you have voided a 6year warranty.

Oh and it takes a lot to break them my 4 year old and 1 year old run around with mine.

An apply warranty is actually for longer than a year under eu consumer law, in England for example it's 6years, Scotland 5years and everywhere else a minimum of 2 years.

Www.apple.com/uk/legal/statutory-warranty/

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 13/08/2013 15:08

Thanks to everyone for giving me some good advice.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 13/08/2013 15:11

I agree. Try and claim on the Household insurance.

sashh · 13/08/2013 15:31

Neice should pay.

If she couldn't rely on her own children not to leave it about then she should have told dd not to let them play with it.

But do check insurance, yours and theirs, I have various electrical items insured worldwide on my home policy

Hercy · 13/08/2013 15:45

It doesn't really take a lot to break them, you just have to catch them at the wrong angle. My nephew (age 3) cracked the screen of my partners ipad 2. It cost £200 at the apple store (partner was given a new one and apple kept the old one with broken screen).

Make sure everything is backed up now, in case the screen damage gets worse and you can't do it later.

I agree your niece should pay, or at least contribute, but it becomes very awkward if she doesn't have the money. I would get her to make enquiries with her home insurers and if she can't claim on that, then ask for a contribution.

formicadinosaur · 13/08/2013 15:47

I think children if 9 + are capable of using and storing an iPad appropriately. They are not toddlers.

I would probably email the niece and mention that DD Is asking what niece is planning to do about the IPad that her kids broke? Happily list all the options available and ask which she would prefer? Maybe suggest she claims on her household insurance?

formicadinosaur · 13/08/2013 15:49

I would be horrified if my kids broke something and would always pay

AlpacaLunchYoubringyourbooster · 13/08/2013 15:50

I hope you get a repair/replacement for your daughter.

These are amazing btw kid proof

Tailtwister · 13/08/2013 15:53

I should be replaced by your niece, no question.

allmycats · 13/08/2013 15:59

I agree with those who say that your niece should pay for it. Her children were negligent and she broke it, how can it not be a fault within their immediate group ?

littlemisswise · 13/08/2013 16:02

Your niece should pay, IMO. But if it wasn't in a case it was only a matter of time before it was broken anyway. Why people pay out ££££ for these pieces of kit and then not protect them is beyond me. We have 3 iPads and an iPad mini, all are in these and covered on the house insurance.

inallmydays · 13/08/2013 16:02

i think it is your daughters responsibility to look after it , she let the younger kids play with it and did not supervise , it got left somewhere and got broke , hard lesson in life .

SpecialAgentCuntSnake · 13/08/2013 16:03

On these sorts of threads, where there are no SEN to me it doesn't even need a question and I'm actually shocked when people say 'pay for it yourself, my kids, my rules, etc etc tough luck!'

She should definitely pay or it. Would teach her kids some fucking responsibility too. There is a line between 'I grew up on the railways, with holes in my shoes and the knowledge that whoever I married would own me', and 'FFS take SOME (?!?) responsibility! It could be VERY good for your kids to see if they're selfish about their chores it affects others. They're NT so perfectly able to see that their actions caused pain, if not understand bank accounts etc.

IneedAsockamnesty · 13/08/2013 16:10

If an expensive item entered my house and it did not belong to me I wold not let my children play with it. If I was remiss in my prevention and the item got broken it would be replaced by me before the day was out.

My kids my responsibility, if I stood on it the same would apply to my feet.