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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To allow DD1 to ask them for money? Or other options?

69 replies

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 13/08/2013 13:04

She has an IPad, she saved for ages, worked for neighbours, didn't spend a penny, did extra chores and eventually bought an IPad. She bought one costing £400 after a lot of saving and work. I couldn't afford one like that, although I'm lucky enough to have one which I won as a prize.

She was staying with my niece and her children, along with DD2 and DS, she's recently turned 16. On that day, DS and DD2 were ill and weren't there (I'd come and took them back, turned out to be a stomach but, thankfully no one else in either family caught it!) so it was DD1 and the three children, who are 11, 9 and 9.

She let them go on her IPad as she usually does and is ver careful about it. She trusted them with it, they weren't young enough not to know not to leave it around.

They ran off somewhere for supper and left it lying around. Cue my niece slipping on it (she has some bruises as a result but thankfully not too hurt) and cracking it, it's workable but the screen is damaged and DD1 is heartbroken that the thing she saved up for, for ages and ages, put so much effort into getting, and really treasures, is now like this.

Apparently it's playing the blame game to ask for money (well, not exactly- niece said 'lets not start on the blame game!' when DD1 found out). At the time, DD1 was on their computer to email me because she wanted to let them play. No one disputes the fact that my niece's children left it there.

There are a few options. Leave it cracked. Pay for a replacement (Apple dont repair) or shell out money to pay for a repair (therefore voiding the warranty). We current,y don't have the money for either a replacement or a repair.

AIBU to think that, as they left it there and are of a responsible age, they should pay? I might be bring grabby and emotional because DD1 is very, very upset, and that could be clouding my view and I could be being irrational. But DD1 was trying to be nice (she struggles to connect to them as the age gap is 7yrs and 5yrs and they are also quite footbally boys unlike DD1, although DD2 is basically,y best friends with them all!) and thought that they were old enough to not leave it lying on the floor, and because they weren't acting responsible for their age, now she's left with a cracked IPad.

I don't know if it's their fault, DD1's fault (I don't see how, but it could be argued, I guess) or nobody's fault (more likely a mix of having more foresight, and not being responsible and everything) but we still have a cracked IPad and ideally would like to get the replacement or repair. DD1 is happy for them to pay for a refurbished IPad Mini for example (so £229 for refurbished) between them- and not all the money, but some of it, even if just a quarter of it or anything.

We wasted money already as they had some booked events planned for DD2 and DS which they couldn't go to due to being ill, which I paid them for ,mbut we aren't in the good books.

So AIBU and wwyd?

OP posts:

BrokenSunglasses · 13/08/2013 18:06

Your dd took a risk when deciding to allow children to play with it, I don't think your niece should have to pay for a decision that was made by your dd.

It's your dds responsibility, not your nieces. It would only be your nieces responsibility if she had asked if her children could use the iPad, or if she had allowed her children to use it without your dd knowing.

gallifrey · 13/08/2013 18:17

my friend sold his cracked broken ipad on ebay for about £200 and claimed off his house insurance and got a new one. His ds threw it down the stairs.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 13/08/2013 18:30

I feel sorry for your DD. £400 is a lot to save at that age and it sounds like she was being nice letting your niece's children borrow it. Your niece knew her kids were playing with an expensive piece of kit and she should have been keeping a better eye on them. If one of my friends lent DD something so valuable, I'd be tempted to say no thanks or watch like a hawk.

The fact that it was actually your niece rather than one of her children that broke the iPad makes this all the more clear cut for me. She's an adult, she should have been watching where she was going and her nasty comment re blame doesn't show her in a good light. I don't really see the issue in terms of replacement though as surely her home insurance will cover it? Yes, she may have to pay the excess, but that's what you get if you're careless. Also, I suspect your daughter has been used slightly in this situation as an unpaid babysitter. Given that, I'd definitely be expecting recompense.

RipRC · 13/08/2013 18:38

To me this would be about more than the money. Your nieces attitude is horrible. Personally speaking I would think a lot less of her after what she said to you daughter. She is the adult, these were here children who are old enough to have to bear some responsibility. What sort of person tolerates their children damaging someone else's property especially when that some one is basically another child and who worked hard to get their prized possession
I agree your daughter has learned a valuable lesson here in regards to minding her property. I think she needs to learn another one from you this time, that it's okay to speak up for yourself and to be heard, tilt even a sixteen year old has a voice and am opinion and that you are her mum will not stand aside and let her be shafted without voicing your displeasure at the.end way she is been treated.
I personally think under the circumstances a fifty fifty split of the repair would be fair.

ZenGardener · 13/08/2013 18:55

Eek, I don't think I could afford to replace a 400 pound iPad.

Do you not get Apple Care Plus insurance for iPads in the UK?

My daughter broke my iPhone and I got a replacement for around 35 pounds at the Apple Shop.

I don't know. I think your daughter should have watched it better or insured it herself.

5madthings · 13/08/2013 19:04

I have children of a similar age, ds2 is 11 and ds3 is 8. I would absolutely be offering to pay! They are old enough to know not to leave it lying on the floor!

We have a nexus and D's etc and they know to look after them and put them away and not leave them lying around.

Abra1d · 13/08/2013 19:08

My children would have known at 9 and 11 that you don't leave iPads on the floor.

StuntGirl · 13/08/2013 19:09

16 year olds can't buy insurance Zen.

And those lovely durable cases wouldn't have stopped the screen breaking when someone stood on it littlemiss

I think the niece should offer to replace it. Your daughter is learning a hard lesson too, and I think it's very gracious of her to accept a preowned, lesser version as a replacement too. I suspect in future she won't lend her expensive gadgets out!

As a compromise perhaps look into repairs and ask your niece to pay for that, or claim on household insurance. Although your daughter lent it out it was your niece's children who left it lying around and your niece herself who broke it. Blame game indeed!

Letitsnow9 · 13/08/2013 20:58

Apple replaced my screen for £50. They said £200 at first but my dad spoke to the manager and they did it for £50. They just swap your iPad for another one

teenagetantrums · 13/08/2013 21:06

Did your niece know that her children were using the Ipad, if she did she should have been watching what they were doing with it, also you daughter is responsible for not making sure they looked after it , she is older and she gave it to them, I would say 50/50 is fair, unless your niece knew her children had it them she have reminded them to put it in a safe place.

Ixia · 13/08/2013 21:19

Is it still under warranty? We cracked the screen on our Ipad and Apple replaced it for free. We went to an actual Apple store, rather than an approved stockist.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 13/08/2013 21:25

The fact that your niece made that comment about blame indicates that she knows bloody well she should pay up! I'm livid for your daughter.

Merel · 13/08/2013 22:21

I don't think that your niece has a responsibility to pay as your DD lent an expensive device to minors, left them to use it unsupervised, and then wants someone else to take responsibility when they didn't look after it. Saying that though, if I was your niece I would meet you half way on the repair costs, just to keep the peace. An iPad with an invalidated warranty is better than an iPad that's unusable.

Harsh lesson to learn for your DD unfortunately.

Jan49 · 13/08/2013 23:11

I am more inclined to side with your niece, though really I think maybe the fairest thing would be to share the cost.

I think I'd be annoyed if someone brought such an expensive item to my house, gave it to dc to use and it got trodden on and broke. I wouldn't want to be put in a position where that could happen. But the dc are partly to blame for being careless with it and your niece for not seeing it and treading on it.

ilovebabytv · 13/08/2013 23:26

I agree with your niece. Ultimately it was your dd's responsibility to look after her ipad and regardless who left it lying on the floor, it was up to your dd to make sure it wasn't left around for someone to stand on. Putting it another way, if the younger children had left it lying carelessly on the floor and a stranger (i.e. not your sister, perhaps a friend of your sister) had stood on it and broke it would you have expected the stranger to pay?

I know if i stood on something that wasn't supposed to be on the floor, as apologetic as i would be, I would not be offering to pay for repair/replacement. Harsh lesson for your daughter to learn to keep better care of her stuff imo.

Hulababy · 14/08/2013 01:53

I'm surprised some people wouldn't offer to at least pay something towards it. The children were not babies, they are 9 and 11!!! Of course they should be old enough to use an iPad on their own and also to know you don't leave one on the floor!!! Children this age will be using expensive stuff a fair bit at home, school as out and about - they should be more than capable of being careful an looking after things, even more so when it is someone else's item.

And if someone would be cross about the girl letting children use it or not wanting the responsibility - well speak up and take it from them or tell the girl not to allow them!

SybilRamkin · 14/08/2013 07:58

I think you need to ask your niece if she can claim for it on her home insurance. Tell her it's not about blaming anybody, but that your DD is really upset, she worked really hard to save up for the iPad and now it's broken.

SybilRamkin · 14/08/2013 07:59

Alternatively try this:

www.ipadrepairservices.co.uk/

Original poster

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 14/08/2013 09:36

All the children (not DD1 or mine, we live quite a bit away from them) use IPads at school, (Ipad Minis) so I think DD1 assumed they'd be responsible. We are going to ask niece about home insurance and see about ours too, and if that doesn't work, then I'll give her some money towards the repairs and we will try and have a clear out to afford the rest of it!

OP posts:

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