or is the nursery?

[sandwichyear]

I know this is a very minor problem in the general scheme of things!

DS is 2, nearly 3. He goes to nursery/ preschool where they take them in nappies, and then help them with potty training when the parent decides it's time. He has been potty training for a while, and it has been a long process, but he is gradually getting there. He is pretty good with wees but less so with poo and has quite a lot of accidents mixed in with some successes. We have tried hard to be completely consistent with him, always putting him in pants rather than a nappy even if it means dealing with accidents plus all the usual things. We discussed this with the nursery and they agreed that was the way to go. A couple of weeks ago we found that they were putting him back in nappies in the afternoon in case he had a poo accident without discussing this with us. I asked them very nicely not to do that any more as I didn't want to give him mixed messages and when he's wearing a nappy he switches off from both wee and poo and it sets him back. They agreed and said they woulnd't do it any more. Then I went to pick him up today and he was back in a nappy. I queried it (very very nicely) and the teacher said they had discussed it at the staff meeting and decided that they couldn't be expected to clean up after him if he had an accident as they had too many other kids to focus on and would be putting him in nappies in the afternoons until he can go on his own. I totally understand that it is hard work being a preschool teacher and horrible to have to clean up poo, but I was annoyed that they hadn't discussed this decision with me and feel as though its' really giving him mixed messages and stalling his potty training and undermining what we are doing at home. AIBU? I know that this is a totally obnoxious thing to say but they charge a huge amount for this preschool if that makes any difference either way!

Thanks v much!

I've trained lots of children. I've had great luck putting pants on them and then a pull up. That way they still feel wet but the mess is contained. Good luck

ICBINEG you may find the position changes very quickly. My youngest cannot speak so when we tried a couple of months back it was hopeless. She couldn't articulate if she needed to go and because she is non verbal I wasn't convinced she even understood the concept.

Then literally over night she started removing her nappy as soon as she'd wee'd. We were a bit reluctant to try again but she picked it up straight away. Best of luck

TeWisavestheday thanks v much for your kind and reassuring comment. My gut feeling is taht some kids take longer than others (as with everything) and that putting him back in nappies isn't the answer, but always so hard to know if we're doing the right thing.

Agree.
They should have told you but they shouldn't have to clean up poop every day. He is not ready.

How many sessions does he do at nursery each week? You could try doing a "nappies at nursery/pants at home" split until he gets the hang of getting to the toilet on time.

Plat ha I can have long intricate discussions on the topic with DD but she hates anything to do with nappy changes...so actually she is probably lying rather than confused...this is only occurring to me as I am writing.

hmmm....we get a lot of 'did you poo?' 'no it was a fart'. 'did you wee?' 'no all dry' discussions that are totally factually inaccurate.

the little minx!

I agree that pull ups are really no different to nappies. DD was in pull ups for about 10 months before potty training as they looked neater under her clothes than nappies. We started potty training in April or May, but after a couple of disastrous days in nursery we put her back into nappies. We then started again about a month ago. DD now has wee accidents about 2 times a week and poo accidents maybe once a week. I am sure that some children don't have accidents after the first week, but clearly DD isn't one of them.

For poos we have read "poo goes to poo land" and I have reinforced that a poo in her nappy doesn't get to go to poo land (admittedly this isn't what it was written for). I have allowed her to have a nappy to do a poo in a few times and changed her straight back. She generally won't poo in a potty - she much prefers the toilet - and wants a bit of privacy, so being able to get onto the toilet on her own using a step and a seat has been important. Nursery have been only positive and supportive and she finds the little toilets there to be easier to use. The staff at nursery have been willing to change her as needed and with a staff ratio of 1:4 which is the statutory requirement at this age, they do have the time to change a child.