Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it BU to took you toddler with chicken pox to a theme park?

93 replies

LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 18:16

This isn't me so please don't flame me!!!

There is a big group of us going to a theme park for a family day out this week. A friends toddler has chicken pox and is now just covered in spots so will be this way when we go. I said "aw it's a shame she won't be able to come then" and my friend said "of course she's coming its already been contagious and now it's spots its fine and your DD has already been around her". I have a 9m DD and we saw my friend a few days ago when she didn't have any spots.

I don't know the ins and outs of chicken pox but I thought that it is contagious before the spots but you don't know about it and its still contagious until the spots scab over so if you have them you should be kept in and away from people but my friend thinks this is rubbish and it doesn't matter now. I'm worried about my DD catching it as she's so small but what about all the hither people we will be around?

I think she shouldn't take her LO to a theme park and is BU but she thinks its fine and I'm just PFB

OP posts:
Original poster
LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 18:17

Argh typo is it BU to TAKE your toddler*

OP posts:
nilbyname · 12/08/2013 18:19

I personally think that's very irresponsible of your friend, pox is contagious until the very last spot has dried up and gone.

GobblersKnob · 12/08/2013 18:19

It's beyond unreasonable Shock

IHeartKingThistle · 12/08/2013 18:19

She is being vvvvvvvvv unreasonable but you know that. She could be putting vulnerable people in real danger. Do you think anything you say will put her off?

kungfupannda · 12/08/2013 18:19

Your friend is either an idiot who isn't capable of performing a simple google search, or an arrogant cowbag who thinks her needs trump those of everyone else.

I wouldn't go, if I were you. You'll be on the receiving end of glares and comments all day, from people who are rightly hacked off that your friend has arbitrarily decided that it's okay for them to catch a fairly nasty disease, so that she doesn't have to miss a day out.

vestandknickers · 12/08/2013 18:21

She is being incredibly selfish and could be putting other people's health at risk.

Flobbadobs · 12/08/2013 18:21

They're contagious until the spots scab over if I remember rightly. I would be really annoyed if someone knowingly took a contagious child to such a busy place, especially with a small baby in the group, plus the fact that other people there may have compromised immune systems!
She's being very U and selfish.

YippeeKiYayMakkaPakka · 12/08/2013 18:23

She is being very unreasonable. If there's a big group of you, surely some of the other parents will also refuse to allow a contagious child to come along?

BadSpeakingSkills · 12/08/2013 18:23

She is BVVVVVVVVVVVVU ! What about others at the theme park ? Children there could be immunosupressed, pregnant mothers, other people who have suppressed immune systems. She is being VERY selfish. I wouldn't go.

BikeRunSki · 12/08/2013 18:24

I think your friend is BU. Chicken pox can be a horrible illness. My dc had it last year at 9 months and 3.8 and the were both extremely ill with CP and after effects for about 3 weeks each. DD (9 months) was very, very nearly hospitalised. Both got bronchitis too while their immune systems were down. There is an MNer whose child died of CP complications. I know many.people will argue that children will get CP anyway, but there us also the possibility that they won' t get it at all if people din' t take CP children out. I believe they are contagious until all the spits have scabbed over.

fluffyraggies · 12/08/2013 18:24

Is there anybody in the group that she will listen to OP? Someone who can be a bit forceful - say they've looked it up on a medical site?

Sometimes there is a different dynamic between different people. Sounds like you don't want to confront her again.

podgymumma · 12/08/2013 18:24

I've pretty much certain my sons caught his pox from Disney in Paris. We were queuing next to a boy with it and 14 days later he came down with it.

Its very selfish of your friend.

Suzieismyname · 12/08/2013 18:24

I thought it was fine to go out once the last spot has crusted over? If she's going to a theme park before that stage that's really irresponsible. An emergency trip to the shop perhaps but not a theme park!

jacks365 · 12/08/2013 18:24

You are contagious until the spots have scabbed over which is on average 5-6 days so depending on the day you are going she may not be unreasonable but can I also mention that you would knowingly be taking someone who has been in contact with an infectious disease and may well be incubating it and may be infectious too.

MissMarplesBloomers · 12/08/2013 18:24

Apart from the children who may be at risk as she is still contagious....

  1. her own child who's immune system will be fighting the CP & therefore more susceptible to catching other bugs.

  2. any immuno-suppressed adults or children who maybe having a rare day out.

  3. Elderly people who may be there with the GC's for an outing even if not on rides

The possibilities for spreading CP are endless, and apart from being totally irresponsible, if her DC has a goodly dose of CP she'll be feeling rough & who wants to drag a whingy toddler aroound all day??!!

YANBU she is....I hope you are not going with her with or without your little one.

BikeRunSki · 12/08/2013 18:24

Also,, my DC were so poorly, they would have hated being dragged round a theme park.

JustBecauseICan · 12/08/2013 18:25

You shouldn't even have to ask. Show her this thread.

Ignorant and naïve at best, wilfully stupid and selfish at worst.

McNewPants2013 · 12/08/2013 18:25

Send her this link.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chickenpox/Pages/Prevention.aspx

Could the trip be rearranged.

MissMarplesBloomers · 12/08/2013 18:28

Yes SUzie that's what I've always worked from, when the LAST spot has crusted over properly then it's safe.

SueDoku · 12/08/2013 18:29

She is being VVVVVVVVU. I have a friend who is deaf because her mother caught CP when she was pregnant. Please try to talk some sense into this selfish woman before she causes another family this sort of upheaval..... Angry

IfIonlyhadsomesleep · 12/08/2013 18:30

Of course she is wrong. Thing is people are incredibly ill informed and do this all the time. Drives me mad how few people observe proper quarantine after d and v. If I hear the line "they were only sick once, it can't be a bug" it makes me want to scream. Funny-there are now fifteen children in the class who "can't have a bug". She has no idea who she'll come into contact with and their circumstances. For every ten people who will be inconvenienced by a bout of chicken pox, there'll be one who's really poorly and the muni suppression thing isn't to be underestimated.
I know it's been said, just adding my voice. Hope it gets sorted.

Tanith · 12/08/2013 18:33

The HPA exclusion advice is 5 days after the first spots appear, so her child may not be contagious.

Original poster
LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 18:36

Wow so many responses. To answer some questions,

There is nothing I can say that will change her mind. The way she she's it is it will be fine and she'll just keep her away from pregnant people Sad

She said that it will be good if my DD gets it now and then I can get it out the way but I said it can be really dangerous to babies under 1 I think and I don't want to get it out the way thanks but my baby won't be the only one there.

Another friend in the group has said we can just try and keep a big distance but that isn't going to work very well at all. Her DD loves mine and will be glued to her side Sad. It's not it about us either what about other people

OP posts:
Original poster
LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 18:37

I didn't know if IWBU because I wasn't sure if it was fine once the spots came out or when they scanned over.

There's no chance in hell the spots will be scanned over by the time the trip comes round

OP posts:
cakebar · 12/08/2013 18:37

When my dc had chicken pox the nurse told me that it was airborne pre -spots and for 1 maybe 2 days after spots, then the only way you got it was by touching the spots. In which case I wouldn't have a problem with this, especially if they are an age where they will be in a stroller.

The doctor thought I was being ridiculous when I asked if I should keep DD in when I was sure she would be brewing it after DS had it (she was, I didn't keep her in, I did tell people but obviously not everyone I walked past). The person who caught it in a queue probably got it off one of the boy's party, rather than him.