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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it BU to took you toddler with chicken pox to a theme park?

93 replies

LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 18:16

This isn't me so please don't flame me!!!

There is a big group of us going to a theme park for a family day out this week. A friends toddler has chicken pox and is now just covered in spots so will be this way when we go. I said "aw it's a shame she won't be able to come then" and my friend said "of course she's coming its already been contagious and now it's spots its fine and your DD has already been around her". I have a 9m DD and we saw my friend a few days ago when she didn't have any spots.

I don't know the ins and outs of chicken pox but I thought that it is contagious before the spots but you don't know about it and its still contagious until the spots scab over so if you have them you should be kept in and away from people but my friend thinks this is rubbish and it doesn't matter now. I'm worried about my DD catching it as she's so small but what about all the hither people we will be around?

I think she shouldn't take her LO to a theme park and is BU but she thinks its fine and I'm just PFB

OP posts:
Original poster
LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 18:37

Oh and it's by complete chance that I found out when I bumped into her today, otherwise I doubt she will mention it to anyone else

OP posts:
OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly · 12/08/2013 18:38

You need to get the others on side and just tell her she is not welcome and that shes a twat

Flobbadobs · 12/08/2013 18:39

I would tell everyone else in the group. Other people kicking up a fuss might change her mind..

Tanith · 12/08/2013 18:40

It could be that your own DD is the more contagious if she's already been around this child. Will you be keeping her at home?

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly · 12/08/2013 18:40

Its airborne, by the way, that nurse was wrong. It's very very contagious.

WilsonFrickett · 12/08/2013 18:41

Honestly, I think you shouldn't go. I know she shouldn't take her DD, but it doesn't seem like she's going to listen to reason, so I think you should avoid what is going to be an extremely stressful day for you. The toddler will be tired/ill/whingy. If as you say she and your DD are inseparable then there's no way you'll be able to keep them apart. It just sounds like this selfish cow is spoiling it for everyone and you'd be better off not going.

I say 'spoiling it for everyone' in ref to your party, of course. What she may also be doing is causing a catastrophe to an immuno-suppressed person, or a newly-pg and not showing person. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

LillianaVess · 12/08/2013 18:42

Life that's awful I hope it's not flamingo land on Wednesday. If my exdp gets CP he would be seriously ill with all the immunosuppressant drugs he takes for his arthritis. But then I suppose we wouldn't be rubbing against other people's kids. Might take some wipes with us.

expatinscotland · 12/08/2013 18:43

I'd be tempted to tell the theme park staff when she is coming so she gets turned away.

Pinupgirl · 12/08/2013 18:44

If the spots are scabbed over then she will not be infectious and honestly would people with seriously compromised immune systems think a day out at a theme park is a wise thing?

TheSecondComing · 12/08/2013 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 12/08/2013 18:46

'and honestly would people with seriously compromised immune systems think a day out at a theme park is a wise thing?'

Plenty of children who are healthy can become very ill with chickenpox and even die. Some people may not realise they are pregnant.

mumofweeboys · 12/08/2013 18:48

Yep it's contagious until last lesion crusts over. Hopefully she is smothering the child in calamine lotion to make them dry out. There was me feeling guilty for having to take my toddler to nursery to pick up my son, he looked very strange in his buggy with the rain cover on in long sleeve top and trousers on a sunny day lol

LillianaVess · 12/08/2013 18:49

If the spots are scabbed over then she will not be infectious and honestly would people with seriously compromised immune systems think a day out at a theme park is a wise thing?

Because he wants to spend time with his son and needs to leave his hovel more often. (And he can watch DS so I can go on a ride hopefully)

Suzieismyname · 12/08/2013 18:51

The incubation period for CP is 10 to 21 days. My DDs were exposed to it the day before their friend came out in blisters. DD1 took 14 days, DD2 took 16. I think it's a bit unfair for OP's DD to stay in quarantine for perhaps 3 weeks on the possibility that she might get it.
If your child does have open spots, that's different.

Original poster
LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 18:51

I'm going to phone another friend tonight for a chat and casually mention it so it doesn't look like I'm trying to cause trouble and see what she says.

Tbh I hadn't thought my DD could be the contagious one so I don't think we will be going Hmm which is really gutting its been planned for a long time and it will be a good day out but when you have kids it's just one of them things

OP posts:
Original poster
LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 18:53

My DD saw her 3 days ago and her spots come out yesterday

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 12/08/2013 18:53

People who are auto immune shouldn't have to stay in because of other people's selfishness.

CSIJanner · 12/08/2013 18:54

She'll keep away from heavily pregnant ladies? What about those in the early trimester? Or cancer sufferers on chemo or immosuppressed?

Do your friend a favour. Call the theme park and advise them of her name and description. Selfish cow. I know of at least two make a wish trips to theme parks this year.

HeffalumpTheFlump · 12/08/2013 18:57

Completely agree mcnewpants, if they did my brother would not be able to leave the house ever as he is on permanent immunosuppressants because he has ulcerative collitis. As his sister and a currently pregnant woman, what your friend is doing is making me so fucking angry. Selfish bitch. Angry

countingmyblessings · 12/08/2013 19:03

Chickenpox is contagious 2-3 days before the spots first appear until they scab over NOT until they completely disappear. My GP told me & it states the same on the NHS website.

bumbleymummy · 12/08/2013 19:07

The spots may have scabbed over by the weekend if they came out yesterday. I think my boy's took about 4-5 days.

bumbleymummy · 12/08/2013 19:07

boys'

countingmyblessings · 12/08/2013 19:08

Oh well Life I guess you & dd can't go to the theme park either.

ilovepowerhoop · 12/08/2013 19:08

even if your dd has caught it she wont be contagious for at least another week as the incubation period is 10 to 21 days but they are only contagious for 1 - 2 days before the spots come out.

p.s. catching chicken pox under 1 year increases the risk of childhood shingles and may not give full immunity to chicken pox

Violinsqueaks · 12/08/2013 19:10

She is being very unreasonable but you already know that. My DH is immunosurpressed following a kidney transplant. To look at him he seems fine, she would never know but to catch chicken pox could seriously damage his health long term. He should not have to live in a bubble to avoid selfish people like your friend. Our DC s like to go out too and Daddy comes when he can. How stupid of her to say that she can simply avoid pregnant people!! She has no business deliberately taking an infectious child to a theme park. Please try and talk her out of it. There is more to this than one day of fun for her DD which can be rearranged for when the child is well.

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