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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it BU to took you toddler with chicken pox to a theme park?

93 replies

LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 18:16

This isn't me so please don't flame me!!!

There is a big group of us going to a theme park for a family day out this week. A friends toddler has chicken pox and is now just covered in spots so will be this way when we go. I said "aw it's a shame she won't be able to come then" and my friend said "of course she's coming its already been contagious and now it's spots its fine and your DD has already been around her". I have a 9m DD and we saw my friend a few days ago when she didn't have any spots.

I don't know the ins and outs of chicken pox but I thought that it is contagious before the spots but you don't know about it and its still contagious until the spots scab over so if you have them you should be kept in and away from people but my friend thinks this is rubbish and it doesn't matter now. I'm worried about my DD catching it as she's so small but what about all the hither people we will be around?

I think she shouldn't take her LO to a theme park and is BU but she thinks its fine and I'm just PFB

OP posts:

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 12/08/2013 19:10

It is reasonably likely that your dd has already been infected but there is nothing that can be done about that. But having more contact is like if your child runs across the road letting them run back again as they've already done it.

Personally I'd text people and say "really sorry but can't make theme park as X has chicken pox and I don't want dd to catch it". Suspect there will be an avelanche of other dropper outers!

Whatevertheweather · 12/08/2013 19:10

Totally selfish (your friend not you!) Hope it's not Chessington on Thursday! If it is PM me your friends description so I can glare avoid

Pinupgirl · 12/08/2013 19:13

IF the spots have scabbed over she is not infectious!!! ffs-read the guidelines. There are germs and viruses everywhere-get over it.

ilovepowerhoop · 12/08/2013 19:17

the spots only came out yesterday so they wont have scabbed over for a trip this week so she will still be contagious. ffs read the thread before swearing at everyone else!

Suzieismyname · 12/08/2013 19:18

From what OP has said, her 'friend's' DD is still infectious but OP's DD can't be yet.

ilovepowerhoop · 12/08/2013 19:21

yes, the other girl will still be contagious this week but OP's child won't be contagious for a wee while yet (if she has caught it at all) so would still be ok to go

IneedAsockamnesty · 12/08/2013 19:22

She's a inconsiderate cunt whose being more than unreasonable.

noblegiraffe · 12/08/2013 19:25

Your DD is fine to go, hers isn't. Definitely spread the word among your friends.

Summerblaze · 12/08/2013 19:28

This really fucking annoys me. How can people not know that if you or your child has CP then you can't go out. My DD and DS had it one after the other so I stayed in for weeks with lots of upheaval getting the non CP'd child to school/nursery etc without taking the other one with me.

My Dsis is not immune to CP and had to have some injection while pg because she was in contact with someone in public who had taking their dc out with CP.

And she will stay away from anyone who is pg. One of the major problems times for pg women is in the first tri. Is she going to go around asking everyone if they are expecting. No I didn't fucking think so. I would seriously ring the theme park so they don't let her in. Serve the selfish cow right.

HeffalumpTheFlump · 12/08/2013 19:37

Pinupgirl - you are making yourself look incredibly ignorant. According to you, people who are immunosuppressed shouldn't go to a theme park and chicken pox spots which haven't scabbed over aren't contagious because they have scabbed over.

I'm assuming you would apply the theme park rule to any places packed with other people. I should probably let my brother know he needs to quit his job as a lawyer in London as it involves a commute on the train and tube. People who are immunosuppressed are allowed to live normal lives you know!! They aren't the ones with an infectious disease!

hazeyjane · 12/08/2013 19:40

If you have chickenpox, stay off work and at home until you're no longer infectious, which is until the last blister has burst and crusted over. This usually takes five or six days after the rash begins.

NHS advice

As for the immuno compromised and vulnerable staying away from theme parks, wow, that is a doozy of an idea, ffs.

littlemisswise · 12/08/2013 19:41

She is being so very unreasonable.

DH's niece took her DC to the circus when they had chicken pox. I was accused of over reacting and being hysterical when I voiced that they shouldn't go!

I'd ring the theme park too!

candycoatedwaterdrops · 12/08/2013 19:44

I am immune compromised, not seriously but enough for chicken pox to be dangerous for me. Why should I avoid theme parks?!

jacks365 · 12/08/2013 19:48

It depends on which day you are going. If on friday then she may be ok but unlikely before that if spots appeared yesterday. With regards to your own dd if its less than 7 days since they were in contact she will be ok as that is the minimum incubation period.

Pinupgirl · 12/08/2013 19:49

I have been immune suppressed-chemo. I didn't live in a bubble but neither did I put myself in situations which I presumed would be high risk-eg a place where a lot of children are likely to be.

If you are that worried op stay at home-no germs/viruses there

JerseySpud · 12/08/2013 19:49

She is being VVVU

DD1 caught chicken pox at age 5

DD2 caught chicken pox 2 weeks later at 6 months

We were told it was 5 days after the first spots appeared.

Original poster

LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 19:49

Hmm so I just phoned someone who is going tomorrow and who I am quite close to and dropped it in to the conversation and she wasn't happy at all but agreed there is nothing we can do or say that will change other friends mind . She said that other friend is being selfish and unfair to all the other people and paying to enjoy there day and not risk getting ill and catching CP. she said she was going to phone friend tonight and try and find out what's going on.

She also said that if friend takes her LO then she doesn't think I should go because of DD and that as we booked our tickets together we should just say oops we booked for the wrong day and they won't change them for us so we can't go. We shouldn't have to though. But she knows as well as I do it's a battle we won't win and it will cause arguments

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 12/08/2013 19:57

My ds has a problem with his lungs, which would make him very susceptible to pneumonia were he to contract cp. He has now been vaccinated, but before he was, do you really acceptable to say that he shouldn't be able to go to busy places with lots of children, he has big sisters and a life!

When you have cp, the onus is on you to stay away from others, for the short period of time that you are infectious. Hence all the advice to stay at home!

Original poster

LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 19:59

Hazey I am FAR from saying its acceptable. I have said I don't think her LO should go. I have spoken to her about this and have now got a friend to do the same to try and convince her not to go. Apart from this what else can I do????

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 12/08/2013 20:02

NoNoNo! I wasn't directing that post at you, LifeIsSoDifferent!!!

It was response to PinUpGirl's post about staying away from places with lots of kids when she was immuno compromised.

Original poster

LifeIsSoDifferent · 12/08/2013 20:04

Ooo okay sorry Hazey

I feel really bad that she is going ahead with this and that its so wrong. I know it will be horrible for her to be stuck in and her LO will be upset to have missed out but it's just one of them things. I know she'll use the excuse that her DS will have to miss out and it's not fair but she knows full well someone would take him but at the minute she thinks there's nothing Wrong with it at all

OP posts:

impecuniousmarmoset · 12/08/2013 20:09

Not to suggest that it's ok to take this child out - it clearly isn't - but it's probably true that a theme park is an unlikely place for there to be many immunocompromised people. My DM is post bone-marrow transplant and she's barely allowed in a supermarket - there's no way she'd risk going anywhere within miles of a theme park full of children. But it's beside the point - there will be others, pregnant women and children with asthma etc - who will also be vulnerable.

Pinupgirl · 12/08/2013 20:11

It really common sense hazey-I asked friends who were visiting me not to bring their dcs if they could as we all know how "germy" kids can be.

I think people on this thread are judging this woman far too harshly-you have no idea if her dc will still be infectious but think she should be quarantined for 3 weeks-purlease!

candycoatedwaterdrops · 12/08/2013 20:15

Pinupgirl Common sense is that chicken pox tends to more risky than other infections.

grumpyoldbat · 12/08/2013 20:15

I'd be tempted to tell the theme park. I hate people like your friend OP.

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