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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with dh after night out?

63 replies

Pinupgirl · 10/08/2013 10:48

Dh and bil went out for a few beers last night.

In the interest of disclosure-dh rarely goes out-I go out at least once a month with friends.

He came home at 1am and started telling me about how him and bil were getting chatted up by "old grannies"-his wordsHmm and how bil was trying to persuade him to go to another pub where they would definitely be able to "pull"-bil been before and apparently all the women were gagging for it and bil snogged a young women-bil is 45 and marriedHmm

Bil has form btw-worked abroad and I strongly suspect used prostitutes.

Aibu to be pissed off with dh for telling me this and for also expecting someone sort of medal for not following bil like a sheep? He seemed to think I would find it amusing?

OP posts:
Fancies40Winks · 10/08/2013 10:50

Would you rather he kept it secret from you?

YouTheCat · 10/08/2013 10:50

At least he told you. He could have gone along with the bil and not said a word.

thebody · 10/08/2013 10:51

I think he didn't want a medal but was simply telling you about the nights happenings.

would you rather he didn't? my dh would tell me any juicy bits of a night out.

wouldn't you tell him if you got chatted up on a night out? I bloody would.

FirstStopCafe · 10/08/2013 10:52

Agree it's better he told you than not. My dh would probably tell me too

Vivacia · 10/08/2013 10:52

It's misogynistic, disrespectful and unkind, so no, I wouldn't find it funny.

pictish · 10/08/2013 10:53

Yabu.
What would you rather? He kept it from you?

What is it you actually want?
Do you want your dh to stop hanging out with his brother?

Tiredemma · 10/08/2013 10:54

Could be worse-

he could have gone off with one of these 'grannies' and not told you about it.

BIL sounds like a right nob-head.

ClassyAsALannister · 10/08/2013 10:55

Agree with Vivacia, personally.

middleeasternpromise · 10/08/2013 11:01

Was he drunk? he probably realises it wasnt a good idea to tell you or at least to phrase it in the vein of 'my BIL is a prick'.

Crinkle77 · 10/08/2013 11:11

yabu. your husband told you all about it and didn't go along with what your bil wanted. You should be thankful that he doesn't want to keep secrets from you. the bil sounds like a knob. is he married?

Original poster
Pinupgirl · 10/08/2013 13:14

I didnt really want to know about it no.I didnt find it funny and told dh his brother is pathetic and full of shit.Has put me in an awkward position if bil ever gets caught out too.I dont particularly like my sil but she doesnt deserve to be cheated on.Am still fuming.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinupgirl · 10/08/2013 13:52

Bump.Surely not everyone thinks I am bu?

OP posts:
Naebother · 10/08/2013 13:58

Yanbu to be pissed off. It's not dh at fault though. At least he told you. Bil sounds like a knob.

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2013 14:17

I don't get it. They were chatted up by women older than them. Your husband came hold and told you about it.

What do you wish had happened? The grannies had stayed home? Your husband didn't tell you?

And it's funny (to me) how shocked men can be at being chatted up by older women when women face that from older men all the bloody time.

Original poster
Pinupgirl · 10/08/2013 14:40

Yes I would rather he hadn't told me-what is hard to understand about that? Its the fact that he thought I would find his brothers behaviour funny or even admirable that's even worse.

Of course the chatting up doesn't bother me-I know that young women are not going to be interested in my 47 year old dh! But its falling for bil bullshit that pisses me off.

Tbh I really don't get their relationship-dh is the older brother but almost hero worships his brother and hangs off his every wordHmm

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BrokenBanana · 10/08/2013 14:56

Are you jealous of his relationship with his brother?

I wouldn't be over the moon at the way he described the women, or BILs behaviour, but I wouldn't mind him telling me about it. DP doesn't often get chatted up so on the odd occasion he does he's always very proud of himself, doesn't bother me cos its me he happily comes home to.

I did used to feel like you do in my last relationship, but that wasn't very healthy and full of jealousy and trust issues.

GilmoursPillow · 10/08/2013 15:01

I wouldn't find it funny and hope DH wouldn't expect me to either.

I would have no problem being told what had happened (factually). DH has no problem telling me which bars in which countries he's been propositioned by prostitutes (he works all over the world).

Your BIL is a cock though, and I pity his poor wife. I bet she doesn't get told what goes on on a night out.

WorraLiberty · 10/08/2013 15:05

Why wouldn't young women be interested in your 47yr old husband?

Does he have 2 heads and a particularly dodgy looking moustache? Grin

YABU though I think

It sounds like he was just making conversation and telling you about his night out.

Original poster
Pinupgirl · 10/08/2013 15:06

No not jealous although dh has always made it pretty clear that his brother comes firstHmm. This pisses me off as his brother is a selfish arse and would never put dh first.

I couldn't care less if they chatted to women either-I often end up chatting to randoms on nights out. Its that he thought I would find bill's shitty behaviour funny and that he thinks its ok for him to behave like this and cheat on his wife and dcs.

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Original poster
Pinupgirl · 10/08/2013 15:08

My dh is fat worra. Very fat. Doesn't bother me obviously but cant see many young dolly birds being that impressed. Mind you his brother is bald and yet according to him he has young girls throwing themselves at himHmm

Honestly bil could tell dh the moon was made of cheese and I think he would believe him!!

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MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2013 15:10

I am in two minds about this. BIL cheated, DH told you which makes you now a liar if you see SIL and any kind of conversation about this comes up. I would hate to know, hate for DH not to tell me. Yuk. The fact that DH thinks it's funny is revolting.

WorraLiberty · 10/08/2013 15:11

Oh right

Yes, fat is often a turn off...baldness not so much.

I'm laughing at 'dolly birds'. I haven't heard that expression since my nan was alive Grin

Original poster
Pinupgirl · 10/08/2013 15:15

Yep you have hit the nail on the head mrsterry-I find it repulsive that dh thinks that its acceptable for his brother to behave like this. His brother is drooling after young women in early 20's btw-his eldest dd is 19

I would never tell sil though as I know for a fact she would find a way to excuse bil and blame me for being the messenger!-we are not close btw!

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Original poster
Pinupgirl · 10/08/2013 15:20

Honestly I know people on here seem to think I am in the main bu but I cant even look at dh today-makes me feel sick.

Tbh if dh hadn't also been out til 2am the night before-thurs-I honestly don't know if he wouldn't have just gone along with bil and gone to this pub with the "gagging for it" women. He basically admitted this himself-that he was too tired to goSad

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 10/08/2013 15:22

If you trust him, it shouldn't matter what pub he goes do.

If you don't trust him then you have problems much bigger than your opening post.