To be pissed off with dh after night out?

[Pinupgirl]

Dh and bil went out for a few beers last night.

In the interest of disclosure-dh rarely goes out-I go out at least once a month with friends.

He came home at 1am and started telling me about how him and bil were getting chatted up by "old grannies"-his words and how bil was trying to persuade him to go to another pub where they would definitely be able to "pull"-bil been before and apparently all the women were gagging for it and bil snogged a young women-bil is 45 and married

Bil has form btw-worked abroad and I strongly suspect used prostitutes.

Aibu to be pissed off with dh for telling me this and for also expecting someone sort of medal for not following bil like a sheep? He seemed to think I would find it amusing?

I'm with OP on this one.

My OH has been known to go out with people less responsible than I'd like and for some reason seemed to think he should be praised afterwards for not cheating. It can be degrading when he appears to act like he's gone above and beyond for being faithful. He's grown up a bit now and after several shitty moods on my part and a couple of doses of his own treatment thrown back at him, gets that not cheating is a given rather than an option.

As for putting you in a bad situation with your SIL - couples share info like that. It's actually your BIL who put you in the bad situation rather than your OH.

Yes but I cant say anything to bil as he would be furious with dh for telling me and it would then lead to a huge argument. Besides I honestly don't think bil would give a shit what I think-as I said he is a selfish arse.

To be fair, it's quite likely your BILs missus knows what he's like. People whose partners are prone to cheating generally do know even when they don't have proof. And she'll likely make a choice as to whether to confront him one day.

It's a shitty situation but unless I was particularly close to SIL I'd probably stay well out of it, though might redouble my efforts to let her know you're there to talk if she wants.

Oh. Present from your lovely husband, the perfume?

Do you have anything useful to add to the thread bottom?

I'd also NOT say anything to BIL - from the sounds of his treatment of women, I personally think he could only be shamed by another bloke and you'd just get disrespected.

Yes, my contributions were useful. just not what you want to hear. Perhaps AIBU is the wrong place for you?

I completely agree both dh and bil are arses. I would love to know my part in it though apart from the fact I married him?

you don' think your attitude towards your dh comes into it? i don't see how it possibly can't.

Yabu, in a relationship honesty is the best policy. Would you rather he hid things from you and would you be happy if he didn't bother talking to you about his nights out?

Details aside it seems that DH isn't for you and I suspect you know it. How much longer do you wish to stay in this relationship / environment?

In my experience, this is what the end of a marriage looks and sounds like.

Tbh I think your distrust of your DH based on his previous 'form' is at the root of this.

I can't imagine anyone being quite so furious otherwise, although I can understand the indignation on SIL's behalf and yuk factor at these being girls a similar age to his DD's.

Does your husband know that you think he's been unfaithful and is likely to be easily led that way again by his brother?

I can't see you getting past this without discussing it with him tbh.

I'm with DumSpiro on this. It sounds like the issues are much more deep rooted than the original post