to feel annoyed when people 'diagnose' ASD on here?

[JaneFonda]

It doesn't happen in every thread of this kind, but it does happen quite often.

If the OP is talking about someone who has been horrible, insensitive, or plain unkind, there is quite often someone who will suggest that maybe the person has ASD, or something similar.

I don't have DCs with autism, but I do have friends who do, and I find it so sad that it is regularly suggested that someone who is mean or spiteful could be that way due to autistic traits.

I completely understand people wanting to point out that maybe someone has social difficulties, and that people should be considerate even if someone isn't very nice, but AIBU to feel annoyed that it is suggested so often on here?

YANBU my son possibly does have ASD but I agree the ones I cant read are those who give the views [usually completely unfounded views] on mental health I have been a psychiatric nurse for twenty years and I usually have to stop reading because they are usually talking bollocks!

Whoops cross post, that was meant for AgentZigzag

You're right though RhondaJean posters usually don't mean it disparagingly but it reflects societies misunderstandings of ASD as inept, rude, thoughtless people. That makes me feel sad.

Don't even get me started on the misunderstandings around ADHD..I could rant at some length about that.

Don't even get me started on the misunderstandings around ADHD..I could rant at some length about that.

Actually as a teacher I would really like to (concisely) hear that rant. I recently went into a class on supply, a boy told me that he has ADD, ADHD and ODD.

I didn't realise you could have both ADD and ADHD together!

I can't stand it when people diagnose others with ASD or similar on MumsNet. You can suggest people consult their Doctors or seek other professional advice but to tell someone that their DC or DH or whoever has ASD based on a couple of paragraphs is RIDICULOUS and very wrong.
Even after years of training (13 years for a phyciatrist) professionals take time and CARE over diagnoses ASD

If someone comes on MN and asks if their kid may have ASD (or similar) the ONLY acceptable answer should be that if they are concerned they should contact their GP or pediatrician.

Every person who has ASD has unique traits many of which are shared by people who do not have ASD. Non professional people may have plenty of experience and good advice but they should leave the diagnoses to the professionals.

frog, my guess from that would be ASD, ADHD and ODD.

You surely cant have ADHD and ADD together I agree.

How to become a PSYCHIATRIST. It takes thirteen years after A'levels and even then I bet they don't diagnose mental health problems without meeting the patient.

Many people have that combination. It's all part of the spectrum of ASD.

I saw some research recently (sorry I'm totally inept at linking) which said that ADHD is almost always a co-morbid diagnosis. Meaning that ADHD is accompanied by another diagnosis (ASD, OCD being the most common).

ADHD is easiest to diagnose so often gets diagnosed first, sometimes the diagnosis ends up getting changed as other symptoms become more apparent. In this often the case with depression or bipolar disorder.

The rant is about misconceptions of children with ADHD being naughty kids, whose parents don't have boundaries with them.

My son did have the ADHD diagnosis (now ASD with hyperactivity) with that label he was judged by many people. In reality he is vague and massively disorganised in his thinking and processing but not naughty.

I may be seeing different threads from everyone else, but I don't see why there's a confusion.

Yes, ok, people do often say 'well, you're telling us you have a six month baby, you've slept two hours in the last two weeks, you're feeling awful and you constantly worry you might hurt the baby ... do you think it's worth considering PND?'. That's just a suggestion.

It's not remotely the same as 'The bus driver deliberately drove through a puddle to splash me, laughed, and gave my sainted grandmother the finger ... I reckon he's well Aspergersy'.

It's pretty much the second one I've seen around lately.

My DS has ASD with co-morbid ADHD ...and Dypraxia.
Very common to have them both together.

But if ADHD= Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
and ADD= Attention Deficit Disorder (presumably without hyperactivity)

then how can you have both?

Sorry just reread, I don't think you can have ADHD and ADD together but you can have any combination of ADHD, ASD, OCD and many others.

Ok, so I guess the kid made a mistake with his diagnosis and perhaps meant ASD.

All the acronyms look and sound so similar, I'm not really that surprised!

LRDY well said.
I'm not sure there is much confusion TBH, that's what we are saying. It's clear to us when it's appropriate to suggest seeking help for something and saying 'I work with an absolute cunt, he must have Aspergers.' (Real example BTW)

Yeah, I assumed that was what you were saying!

It's just I don't think it's only clear to you, to be honest. I find it quite hard to believe that, 90% of the time, it's not perfectly clear to everyone else if they take a moment to think.

frogspoonyes, you're probably right although its entirely possible that he's had a series of ever changing diagnoses.
When my DS was told about how his diagnosis had changed he just added them all up together and came out with a string of different diagnoses that made him sound as though he had everything imaginable

YABU

I have one son diagnosed with autism and another who is undergoing assessment.

I don't think anyone on here "diagnoses ASD" at all... but we do sometimes suggest that certain behaviours exhibited by people could be due to something like that

my son often comes across as mean or unkind, he isn't, but if people were unaware that he has autism they could easily think that he is. That's just the way it manifests when you have someone with poor social skills who just speaks their mind!

In the date thread the OP identified the man as [extremely] socially inept and also as an arse, she felt very upset. Posters suggested the staggering social ineptness might have a reason: Aspergers whilst saying its not you it was him. I don't think anyone said arse = aspergers - more that he had some behavioural things which in a NT would have been unusually challenging but if he had ASD might be more understandable. Inappropriate laughing, inability to make conversation and eye contact, blurting out that he just wanted to go. I don't think anyone meant to be unkind or to diagnose, just to flag up that it may not have been intended hurt fully and was unfortunate rather than devastatingly unkind.

When my DS was told about how his diagnosis had changed he just added them all up together and came out with a string of different diagnoses that made him sound as though he had everything imaginable

Hehe this made me smile.

Sometimes I wonder if there is a need for all these acronyms at all, and perhaps it would just be better to identify the person's strengths and difficulties, along with strategies they use to overcome them.

My sister has SEN, however it is an unusual set of symptoms that never quite fitted into any diagnosis (technically she got diagnosed with dyspraxia, but she has excellent coordination so that makes no sense!)

On the one hand, it is impossible to explain to anyone why she is the way she is (when I say she has learning difficulties to do with language processing everyone assumes dyslexia, which she definitely doesn't have) It would be nice to give what she has a name so I could just say "she has difficulty communicating because she has X"

On the other hand, every kid I have taught with a named SEN (e.g. dyslexia, ASD etc) has completely different strengths, weaknesses and strategies to help them overcome those weaknesses. The fact that they have the same SEN diagnosis doesn't make their difficulties that similar at all, and sometimes students with similar needs have very different diagnoses.

I read the beginning if that thread but not up to the Aspergers reference so I can't comment on what posters said.
I'm making a general reference to something that I see all the time on here which is twat=Aspergers / ASD. The assumption being that if someone acts like a tosspot then surely they have ASD. I'm saying most of the time these people are just twats, nothing more.

TAE, as I said before, I have actually found the opposite on here.
Poster saying they think their DH/neighbour/whatever might have AS and people telling them they should never diagnosed like this. That 'armchair diagnosis' is wrong (and dangerous) and the guy is just a twat/abusive/a cunt (delete as appropriate).

I know a lot of posters who wouldn't dare posting about their issues with their DH (AS) because they will just get a very hard time and be told tltb.

I agree frogspoon we found the same thing, people make assumptions once they hear an acronym:
Autism = no eye contact, lack of feelings, don't like being touched but very bright
ADHD = anti social behaviour

I'm sure I could go on ad infinitum. The reality is that everyone is different like you and others have said, my DS fits into none of the above assumptions yet has had both those diagnoses.
I have to educate every teacher he meets and it makes me so sad that teachers don't get more specialist training in special needs when they deal with them so often.

Trucks Yes sometimes my DS comes across as rude too but he is just straight forward or in his words 'he is being Jeremy Kyle'.

Can I just point out that ASD is not always going to be a special educational need. It is always a recognised formal disability covered under every act designed to protect people with disabilities so its wrong to refer to it as a SEN its presence may result in a SEN or a LD.

Frog you may find it helpful to know that.

Ok, thanks for telling me that sock

It's great that you've seen posters advising against armchair diagnoses LadyInDisguise
The trouble is that Internet forums are all about making assumptions based on the very small amount of information we have. It feels comfortable to fit everyone into a box as it simplifies everything.

I have a great relationship with my DH but I wouldn't dare post anything about him on here for fear of a chorus of undeserved and presumptive LTB (also AS).

You can't blame anyone for trying to simplify the huge complexities between one person and another who have the same diagnosis.

People like to be able to predict how others are likely to behave, so the rules we all mostly stick to are really important in that.

Unpredictable behaviour can be alarming sometimes, and it's always described negatively when the situation is retold later.

There's nothing wrong with that, everyone's entitled to their opinion, but it's those bits where you're out 'on display' in public and have to behave within those very strict rules, that I have trouble with. Not that I behave unpredictably, but I'm terrified all attention will turn onto me if I accidentally transgress one.

You see that in MN threads all the time, someone's acted outside the rules and they're condemned by everyone else. It must be awful for anyone who isn't able to understand what's expected of them. (and brilliant for those who do understand but don't give a monkeys. I'd love to do that )