to feel annoyed when people 'diagnose' ASD on here?

[JaneFonda]

It doesn't happen in every thread of this kind, but it does happen quite often.

If the OP is talking about someone who has been horrible, insensitive, or plain unkind, there is quite often someone who will suggest that maybe the person has ASD, or something similar.

I don't have DCs with autism, but I do have friends who do, and I find it so sad that it is regularly suggested that someone who is mean or spiteful could be that way due to autistic traits.

I completely understand people wanting to point out that maybe someone has social difficulties, and that people should be considerate even if someone isn't very nice, but AIBU to feel annoyed that it is suggested so often on here?

Or depression/mentally ill. VERY annoying.

I actually nearly posted this thread this morning.

Because some is acting like a nob it doesn't mean they have it jus gleans they are a nob usually.

Grrrrrrrr.

Ah, thanks LRDY, that makes alot more sense

Accidental: what exactly is the difference between aspergers and mild autistic traits. I have friends with diagnoses of aspergers syndrome. Some I didn't realise until they mentioned it, others it was clear much sooner, before they told me. They just told me it was a milder form of autism.

If a person is a lazy, disrespectful twat to their partner, it's depression.

Eh?

Doesn't mean they have aspergers, it just means they are a...

Anyhow, it all gets to me. It's not just the ASD over diagnosis, but the general hysteria about everything on here.

Someone had lightly stubbed their toe recently, the suggestion?
Go to A&E, NOW. You could lose your toe....Oh please, that is most unlikely.
Do I sound bitter and twisted now?

The thing is, it's far from the only thing that is being 'diagnosed' on here.

I posted some years ago about DH and his behaviour. I was told he was an abusive twat. He was 'diagnosed' as such from a few lines in a couple of posts. Since our ds diagnosis of AS, he has read more about AS and has self diagnosed himself as being an aspie....
So really it actually does go both ways.

Now my own experience with AS is that apsies are as different as NT people are. They all have their own personality, their own 'quirkiness' and their own defaults. Some you can quite happily live with, others that are downright annoying.
Just as much as I hate when people do generalization such as an aspie is always a very clever person, a little professor. I also hate when people says 'oh my dc would never behave in that way, therefore that person has to be an arse not AS'. It goes both ways really.

But the truth is that even thought it is clear that AS is NEVER an excuse, it is an explanation and a framework to understand the reasons why one can act in a certain way. The same than knowing that an adult has gone thought hardship as a child can explain (but not excuse!) that person's behaviour.
Talking about it and raising it as a possibility, means more people get an understanding of what it is (This is why I sought an assessment for ds btw, having heard about AS on here and seeing some traits in ds and DH and then doing more reading etc...).
I also hope it might make people kinder. The same way that when looking at a child that is behaving in an unruly way or an adult reacting in an 'inappropriate way', you might want to ask yourself first 'has this child not have any SN? How do I know?' or 'Has this parent not gone through a very hard time just before?' before judging away.

IMHO anything that can help people being less judgemental and more compassionate is going in the right direction.

My dd almost certainly has asd (just waiting for assessment diagnosis) and she is neither mean not spiteful

All of them, ASD/MH probs/depression, are all generally under-diagnosed, (not that MN posters should take up the shortfall themselves like ) but it's possible the person doesn't even know their behaviour might add up to something with a diagnosis.

frogspoon Aspergers doesn't have developmental language delay whereas other types of autism do.
In fact Aspergers Syndrome no longer officially exists anymore its all ASD now.

expat- I had diagnosed depression, and when I couldn't get up in the morning or get to university lectures it probably did appear (incorrectly) to others who didn't know that I was just lazy.

Which would explain why people would associate laziness with depression. Some people who appear lazy may actually have depression. But others may just be lazy.

I'm aware of that, frogs, and have suffered from depression and mental health issues for years now. But a lot of the time, the person is a just a lazy, misogynistic twat who thinks lifting a finger in the home is women's work.

I agree AgentZigzag in real life all sorts of issues are underdiagnosed but that certainly doesn't happen on here
We are all medical experts here

Accidental: I didn't know that Aspergers no longer exists. So how would a person with the condition be diagnosed? ASD without developmental language delay?

I'm actually a teacher (newly qualified), and it amazes me that despite being taught the most up to date educational theories, how little we actually get taught about this, and other special educational needs, despite the fact that we teach children with these on a daily basis!

ASD now doesn't have the language thing associated with it. So you will have someone with ASD and a language delay.

In fact Aspergers Syndrome no longer officially exists anymore its all ASD now.

Wel., yes. My DS was diagnosed with "Autism spectrum disorder." DH and I found that tough, and would have been more comfortable with "Aspergers".

I look at it as a rainbow, rather than a line or say fading sight. Someone on the far and of the spectrum will have all the colours of the rainbow. People on the other end my have a couple of colours. But those colours combined will create yet a different colour.

Thanks Lady that makes sense

The problem with 'a lot of the time' is that you then stop yourself short of the possibility of being kind to that person and to the possibility that there is indeed a good explanation to their behaviour.

I am that people seem to think that diagnosis = get of jail card.

Having a diagnosis of depression or ASD or whatever, has never been an excuse good enough to tolerate really unacceptable behaviours.
it's just a tool that might help better communication between people and allow people to make some allowances. Allowances that you will have to make if you live with someone who has severe depression or has AS or whatever else.

A year ago my DS had a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome and ADHD, now he has Autistic Spectrum Disorder with hyperactivity. Nothing has changed, just the classification.

It's among the updates to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). They have removed of the term Asperger's and reclassified its symptoms under the umbrella term "autism spectrum disorder" (ASD)

I think people suggest it as a possibility. it aint a diagnosis.

its actually majorly under diagnosed in rl

Accidental

Even if some posters get a bit over excited diagnosing everyone left/right/centre, there are others who come on and flame them to shit discuss why they might not have accurate info, and that can stick in people's minds.

You know, I had never thought of it the way a lot of you are putting it.

I was getting annoyed because it seems like whenever theres a thread with someone asking about negative personality traits, someone pops up and mentions aspergers. And I don't think it's something that should always be thought of in negative terms.

Hadn't really thought of it about in terms of just looking for explanations.

True and I bloody love that thank goodness

YANBU. On MN nobody is just an arsehole anymore, yet they do still exist in RL with no other diagnosis but being a complete Arsehole.