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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A wedding one... dress code on invitation

70 replies

MikeOxard · 09/08/2013 13:29

AIBU or is this completely pointless - dress code on the invitation says morning dress or lounge suits for the men, traditional and hats optional for the woman. Isn't this a bit unnecessary to put on a wedding invitation, what the hell were they expecting their guests to turn up in, had they not included that guidance? Confused

FWIW, because I know you love these details on a wedding thread, it's a no kids wedding, and they politely asked for money but not with a poem.

OP posts:
Original poster
MikeOxard · 09/08/2013 13:29

Wow, I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaally bored...

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 09/08/2013 13:30

That's more formal than standard. At most weddings only the wedding party wear morning suits unless you're vair posh.

olidusUrsus · 09/08/2013 13:32

I would say it's more formal than the average wedding too.

I love wedding threads

CaptainSweatPants · 09/08/2013 13:32

I'd give them a bottle of champagne instead of cash & wear jeans Grin

olidusUrsus · 09/08/2013 13:34

Yy Captain Grin

ilovebabytv · 09/08/2013 13:35

no kilts?????? :D

Personally i would have thought what they were asking was just the usual, in that everyone knows this and they wouldn't need to ask. DP would still turn up in a kilt

beepoff · 09/08/2013 13:36

Are they posh? We specified "casual" on our info. For DH's side that meant no morning suits. Half of mine turned up in jeans Grin

ViviPru · 09/08/2013 13:36

The invitation sitting in my hand as we speak says:

"Glad rags required. Hats optional"

Can't blimmin wait

MrsKeithRichards · 09/08/2013 13:36

Is morning suit top and tails? Whats a lounge suit?

NotQuiteCockney · 09/08/2013 13:37

Surely a kilt, as long as it's worn with the jacket etc etc is as formal as a lounge suit?

It really depends on who's coming, how clear you have to be about this stuff - I've been to weddings where some adult guests were in shorts, tshirts and baseball caps.

Ginocchio · 09/08/2013 13:37

I know it's not, but I always link "morning suit" and "birthday suit" in my mind....

NotQuiteCockney · 09/08/2013 13:38

A lounge suit is just a normal suit: trousers and a jacket, shirt and a tie.

MrsKeithRichards · 09/08/2013 13:38

Yeah. What about kilts?

Shrugged · 09/08/2013 13:39

Might some of the guests be of a different nationality or culture? A friend of my husband's married a Frenchman (can't remember where from, somewhere in the provinces) and while the Irish side of the church was all suits, fascinators and frocks, the French side was very, very casually dressed.

And I once shared a taxi from the airport with a Dutch woman on her way to a wedding. She was wearing a business-like trouser suit, with a posh frock in a bag, and seemed to think that you wore rather sober church-y clothes for the church part, then changed into party gear for the reception..?

Saffyz · 09/08/2013 13:39

Debretts says dress codes shouldn't be included with an invitation unless there's an uncustomary dress code.

Is there a polite way of asking for money? Confused

MrsKeithRichards · 09/08/2013 13:40

A kilt with dress jacket, waist coat and plaid is as formal as top and tails.

With a jacobeian shirt its more casual

Beccadugs · 09/08/2013 13:41

I imagine its because they have lots of guests/replies who would usually wearing morning dress to a wedding, and to say that that is OK. I once went to a wedding where the groom etc where in normal suits but some of the guests were in morning dress and it was a bit awkward!

WilsonFrickett · 09/08/2013 13:41

Kilts are the equivalent of a lounge suit (the way DH wears his) and a morning suit (when they're all gussied up with the funny shoes and the frills).

WilsonFrickett · 09/08/2013 13:42

Xpost MrsKeith Grin

MrsKeithRichards · 09/08/2013 13:43

And a kilt with a tight white t and timberland boots is sexual

MissStrawberry · 09/08/2013 13:44

We need to know how they "politely" asked for money.

They sound like they are trying to dictate a little bit and be seen to be doing it "right" with the dress code order.

snickersnacker · 09/08/2013 13:47

It's to signal that it'll be a very formal wedding. Is the venue vair grand?

I'd actually read it as 'morning dress preferred', but that the couple are reasonable enough to recognise that morning dress hire is stupidly expensive and it wouldn't be reasonable for everyone. I think you can safely assume that women will need hats.

Re: kilts, full Highland dress is equiv of black tie IME.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/08/2013 13:50

We thought about putting our dress code in with our invitations (along with the usual bumpf about hotels and directions and stuff) precisely because we wanted it to be formal (black tie evening wedding & reception) but we didn't because we thought it was a tacky thing to do. Instead we spread the word amongst family and friends....

Then on the day, 4 or 5 friend's showed up in lounge suits.
Me (bridezilla moment, my only one, honest): WTF, where's your tuxedo?"
Friends: "Oh, well, have to save the dinner jacket to wear to X's wedding tomorrow. The dress code is back tie"
Me: Our dress code is black tie!!!
Friends: Oh.... right...... well it was on X's invitation!

Angry
Carolra · 09/08/2013 13:52

My mum asked us to include a dress code in our invitation because some of her friends own morning suits and would have worn them if we hadn't said that the grooms men wouldn't be in morning suits (not that we would have minded, but she thought they would be embarrassed to be overdressed). We did word the note something along the lines of "there is no dress code and we'd like guests to feel comfortable whatever they choose to wear, but for guidance, the grooms party will be in lounge suits"... so maybe they're just trying to let people know they have the option...?

MrsKeithRichards · 09/08/2013 13:53

People actually dictate what they want their guests to wear? You do realise in your desire for a formal wedding your guests grumbled all the way to the hire shop and moaned about it?