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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A wedding one... dress code on invitation

70 replies

MikeOxard · 09/08/2013 13:29

AIBU or is this completely pointless - dress code on the invitation says morning dress or lounge suits for the men, traditional and hats optional for the woman. Isn't this a bit unnecessary to put on a wedding invitation, what the hell were they expecting their guests to turn up in, had they not included that guidance? Confused

FWIW, because I know you love these details on a wedding thread, it's a no kids wedding, and they politely asked for money but not with a poem.

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 09/08/2013 13:54

God, do people REALLY care what guests wear at their weddings? How anal.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 09/08/2013 13:54

Our dress code asked for no penguin suits, unless they were an actual penguin costume. DH wrote that bit. Plenty of blokes turned up in jeans teamed with a nice shirt anyway. Didn't bother me in the least.

I'd say lounge suits for all gents is way more formal than the average wedding I've been to. Maybe I don't know any properly posh folk? Grin

turkeyboots · 09/08/2013 13:56

What's traditional dress for women at weddings?! I always read tradtional dress as being a ethnic cultural thing - dirnals for Germans, sari for Indians and kilts of Scottish. And flower pot hats for Welsh ladies.

sparechange · 09/08/2013 13:58

I looked at a wedding venue last week which doubles up as a members club. The terms and conditions of booking say that we would have to list the club's dress code on our invitations (no jeans or trainers, men must wear a jacket), and give them a copy of the invitation as proof!

mrsjay · 09/08/2013 13:58

are morning suits not normally worn by the men in the wedding party and lounge suits by everybody else or maybe im not posh enough Grin folk usually know what tow ear at a wedding maybe the bride didnt have enough stress going on so added more

Mogz · 09/08/2013 13:58

I thought it was pretty normal to put a dress code on wedding invites, means every one has fair warning and no one turns up looking like a sore thumb.
Ours was a pretty casual affair (church and zoo) so we advised Sunday best and wellyboots!

FryOneFatManic · 09/08/2013 14:00

I think people are now putting dress codes in as more and more younger people have no idea what formal dress is.

I've been to a couple of weddings recently where everything was quite formal and yet some of the young people were wearing scruffy jeans, as they thought "glad rags" was basically what they'd wear clubbing. They had no idea....

I've noticed that it is rare to see anyone under the age of 25 wearing a suit.

KrazyKurls · 09/08/2013 14:05

Why would you care what your guests wear to your wedding?

I was so pleased that people took time out to share our special day with us that I would have been mortified to ask them to go to the expense of something specified to wear or give money or a certain gift!

HintofBream · 09/08/2013 14:06

A poem was clearly called for here e.g.

We want our photos to look cute
So please put on a morning suit.
If you cannot spare the dosh,
Lounge suit's OK if it's smart and posh.

MissStrawberry · 09/08/2013 14:11

I would like it if minimum skirt length was stipulated too.

raisah · 09/08/2013 14:24

I have received invitations where the sentence 'No boxed gifts please' is used to ask for money instead.

Carolra · 09/08/2013 14:29

No boxed gifts?! Ha ha ha I wouldn't have known that meant money, I'd have given them a set of wine glasses removed from the box and individually wrapped...

Saffyz · 09/08/2013 14:50

Me too, I would have got them a present that wasn't in a box Grin

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 09/08/2013 14:53

No boxed presents? I'd have taken it to mean that I shove my carefully chosen and extremely tasteful gift into a carrier bag instead. I wouldn't have had a clue that they meant, 'Give us yer dosh instead.'

meganorks · 09/08/2013 14:53

Posh blokes have their own morning suits and like to take any opportunity to wear them, so this invitation is just letting them know they can. I know this because this was the case at DP's brothers wedding. His wife is very posh and he likes to think he is!

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly · 09/08/2013 14:54

I think FryOne has it. Dress codes are more common because more people don't seem to know how to dress properly for weddings. I went to one last year and it was like a hookers convention.

SaucyJack · 09/08/2013 14:57

I would take the OPS invitation to mean the Bride and Groom think their friends dress like tramps on a daily basis...... Grin

MyDaydream · 09/08/2013 14:58

Maybe they've been to some weddings recently that showed people didn't actually know how to dress. The last wedding I went to the women were dressed like they were going to a nightclub, lots of body con and flesh on show. Not all the men wore suits, instead wore chinos and casual shirts. A polite note that basically says "please dress smartly" might have avoided quite so much midriff at this wedding!

Notfootball · 09/08/2013 15:01

MissStrawberry one of my younger friends turned up in to the church for my wedding in a skirt so short that my older relatives started taking about it. She went home just before the reception and came back in a more 'appropriate' skirt.

ZingWidge · 09/08/2013 15:12

lounge suit is what you wear in your lounge and I take that to mean leisure time.

so I'd say Vicky Pollard pink kappa tracksuit is appropriate then!Grin

joke aside I would never go to a wedding in jeans. I wear a nice dress, heal and I always wear a hat.
same for a Christening or a funeral.

I was actually quite offended when our good friends' daughter turned up in jeans and crocs and a check flanel shirt to DS5's christening. it's just disrespectful in my eyes.
(and she stuck out like a sore thumb)

for special occasion so people should make an effort to dress nicely, not in every day clothes, even if not prompted.

Saffyz · 09/08/2013 15:21

No boxed presents? Just a box on its own then Grin

AllThatGlistens · 09/08/2013 15:30

I was tempted to start a thread but thought it best not too as it would have just been too identifying for the couple involved.

Lets just say we received an invite last year that had been printed on to a photograph type postcard, with a mis-spelt poem with no rhyme or rhythm to it at the top, styled from the couples young DC's inviting people to mummy's wedding..

I'm all for creativity, and designed our own wedding invites to save money, but it was just really odd, badly written and gave no relevant info! Confused

marriedinwhiteisback · 09/08/2013 15:30

Unless otherwise specified it's always morning dress or lounge suit. The exception is if it's black tie which ime is unusual. What else do the bride and groom think people wil wear? Kilts I think with a dress jacket and white shirt are I think the equivalent of morning dress or black tie providing the wearer is entitled to wear the tartan.

AllThatGlistens · 09/08/2013 15:31

I should also state that the poem was in fact designed and written by the parents, not their toddler twins..

candycoatedwaterdrops · 09/08/2013 15:34

I've never received an invitation not specifying the dress code.