To ask if those of you with big babies tore badly?

[wtfisgoingon]

And if you didn't what position were you in?

I have a thread on childbirth but need a bit more traffic to help me come to a decision.

In brief, ds1 8lb 7oz - third degree tear-was lying on my side (all happened quite quickly)

Ds2 was 10lb 11oz - couple of stitches-on my knees leaning on birthing ball.

Current baby growth scan results from last week (38 weeks) showed baby as 11lb. I refused induction and a csection and deferred decision till yesterday.

I asked for another scan yesterday (39 weeks) hoping that last weeks was incorrect. Scan yesterday showed a 12lb baby.

I have booked a csection for Monday as felt under pressure to do so, but I am wondering if this is the right thing to do. I had such wonderful births with the other 2, and never imagined a csection for dc3.

I am concerned about the baby getting stuck, but that can actually happen at any size. I gave birth to a whopper already, am hoping this is a good sign.

Another concern is bad tearing.

Is it inevitable past a certain size? Or, as I am hoping, is it affected by position of mother and baby for birth?

TIA

I had an episiotomy and 3rd degree tear (forceps birth) with DS1 - 9lbs 12oz and 38cm head. I was very scared when DS2 was measuring to be 10lbs when I had a growth scan, but decided to try the birthing pool and see how it goes. DS2 arrived on his due date at 11lbs 2oz and 37cm head, I had no tearing. His head was delivered in the pool but had shoulder dystocia and I had to be whisked out of the pool and luckily he became unstuck immediately. I highly recommend the birthing pool, it was very relaxing and seemed to help soften everything. However, three years on, considering that I now have a tiny bit of vaginal prolapsing going on and generally still feel very loose down there, and thinking of the risks of shoulder dystocia, I'd definitely have a cs if I did it again.

"the body will only make a baby it can birth" I too would love to believe this is true but, very sadly, the evidence suggests it isn't true. A lady I know had a very big baby, baby got stuck halfway, went in for EMCS but it still took them ages to get him out as he was wedged, she then had to go back in for further surgery and nearly died. I know it isn't nice to talk about these things especially while you're pregnant, and it is a small minority of cases, but obviously her body did make a baby that was too big for her to give birth to.

I also think that if that statement was true then midwives and obstetricians would be taught it during their training and would not be recommending CS's when they believe women are carrying large babies. It's definitely a good idea to ask questions and discuss things with them, and often there is room for negotiation about the best course of action, but I find the prevailing idea that after a little research we can understand things better than they do a bit bizarre.

I agree Mooshe My body made a 13lb baby for a rather small hipped type person and I was definitely not going to be able to give birth to her.

I think the idea of "only making a baby you can birth" comes from breeding eg dogs. If you cross a big dog with a little bitch she has little puppies, even if they grow up to dwarf her.

Not a big baby as such (7lb 8 oz) but I am 5'7 with 33-inch hips and a tiny build, and had no stitches or tearing. I don't know about her theory, but my midwife told me when to hold, and when to push, so that the pushing was really, really gradual. She also used a crazy amount of lubricant.

Baby 1 - 9.5 lbs; labour about 4 hours. Tore very badly (had a succession of people come in to attempt to stitch me up, needed a blood transfusion afterwards). I do wonder if the student midwife could have managed things better but I don't know.

Baby 2 - 81bs, 10oz; labour about 2.5 hours. No further tearing

Baby 3 - 11 lbs, 15oz: labour 70 minutes. No further tearing.

As you can see, I tore badly with my first labour (when I was in the delivery suite the second time one of the midwives said she remembered me as the room had been "awash with blood last time"). We didn't know baby number 3 was so big but midwife was adamant wouldn't be more than 10 lbs. It was by far the easiest delivery.

9lb 3 , 3rd degree tear.

Well put Mooshe

Ditto Octopus

Dd1 - 9lb12oz, 2nd degree tear, bad grazing. She was 4 days early spontaneously, but OP and facial presentation, ventouse delivery.

Ds - 9lb3oz, minor tear, 2 stitches. 10 days early spontaneously.

Dd2 - 7lb13oz, 3rd degree with theatre repair, still have occasional issues despite intensive postnatal physio. She was 3 weeks early (36+6) induced due to serious kidney problems (me).

Even with this I seem to get on better than a close friend who had episiotomies with her 3.

DC4 was just over 11lb and I had no tearing or stitching but that was the extent of my birth plan "please don't let me have stitches" the midwife was lovely and said as long as I didn't push until she tells me to it will be fine. I was on my side/back.

I had two small babies (6lbs 12oz and 6lbs 2.5oz) and still suffered second degree tears with both of them.

I find this thread rather irresponsible.

A bunch of anecdotes from some strangers on the internet should not be outweighing what trained healthcare professionals who have actually examined you are saying.

As for the whole "as long as you are relaxed and in a good position, everything will be hunky dory" - can I just say a massive bollocks to that too.

Downstairs - you cannot compare differing medical opinions with strangers on the internet who have never even seen you.

Hope you are cuddling your baby now and all went well

Yes, definitely! I had forgotten that today was the big day.