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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if those of you with big babies tore badly?

143 replies

wtfisgoingon · 09/08/2013 07:40

And if you didn't what position were you in?

I have a thread on childbirth but need a bit more traffic to help me come to a decision.

In brief, ds1 8lb 7oz - third degree tear-was lying on my side (all happened quite quickly)

Ds2 was 10lb 11oz - couple of stitches-on my knees leaning on birthing ball.

Current baby growth scan results from last week (38 weeks) showed baby as 11lb. I refused induction and a csection and deferred decision till yesterday.

I asked for another scan yesterday (39 weeks) hoping that last weeks was incorrect. Scan yesterday showed a 12lb baby.

I have booked a csection for Monday as felt under pressure to do so, but I am wondering if this is the right thing to do. I had such wonderful births with the other 2, and never imagined a csection for dc3.

I am concerned about the baby getting stuck, but that can actually happen at any size. I gave birth to a whopper already, am hoping this is a good sign.

Another concern is bad tearing.

Is it inevitable past a certain size? Or, as I am hoping, is it affected by position of mother and baby for birth?

TIA

OP posts:
LilacPeony · 09/08/2013 15:09

btw did they tell you there is an approximate 20% margin of error on those scan-based weight guesses

Hopefully the baby won't weigh 20% more than they have predicted then! Grin

JourneyThroughLife · 09/08/2013 15:16

My experience is limited but size doesn't seem to matter. My first was 9lb 4oz, took 25 hours to get out, finally with me on my back and forceps when he got stuck. But didn't tear.
My second was underweight, 6lbs something, gave birth naturally without even gas and air. Tore badly right up to the anus. They stiitched me up well and, apart from being uncomfortable for a while at the time, it healed beautifully and you would never know. My 'babies' have now grown up and I have never suffered any further problems from the tear, which doesn't even show these days.
Experiences are all different. However, I'd talk to the MW and work out what's best for you....

ZingWidge · 09/08/2013 15:28

I tore badly with DS3 (9lb 6oz) because he literally shot out of me.
we got to hospital at 6 am, he was born in half an hour with only 3 pushes!

DS2 was 9lb 1 oz and came slower. I only needed a few stitches.

DS5 was my biggest at 9lb 14, and I needed a lot of stitches, but he was slower to come out than DS3 so it wasn't as bad as after DS3

DD (6th) was 8lb 3 and I needed no stitches at all [proud]

I think size matters, but it's the "push- stop-push-stop-push" phase (when you pant between small pushes) as baby's head is coming out that makes all the difference!

Bumpotato · 09/08/2013 15:44

First 8lbs 5 oz and a few stitches.

Second 9lbs 3 oz and no stitches.

I gave birth on my back both times.

ThreesyDoesIt · 09/08/2013 15:50

My 1st dd was 9lb6 and luckily I never tore. The midwife did say I needed a slight cut made but I point blank refused.... I was right to I didn't need it. I did use stirrups though I was made to I was in agony in that position but the midwife insited at 18 I had no clue what was best, I ended up with a trapped nerve in my back and leg.

Dd2 and 3 were smaller at 7lb14 and 8lb with no cuts or tears thankfully.

jammiedonut · 09/08/2013 15:55

9lbs1oz, no stitches or tears just bruising (understandably!). I had a fantastic midwife who talked me through breathing and pushing and helped me control everything. If it was up to me I'd have ripped myself in half I was so desperate to get it over and done with!

itsblackoveryonderhill · 09/08/2013 15:58

DD, 8lb 12oz, not quite back to back, had her on my side with my top leg supported by the mw. I got a nearly 3rd degree tear in a 'y' shape. when the consultant was stitching me up she told me that if DD made it to 9lb I would have surely had a full 3rd degree from her experience. Obviously I wouldn't know and I didn't really care that much.

HKat · 09/08/2013 16:05

6lb7, on my left side, top leg supported by dp. Third degree tear, finally got my epidural but only afterwards and for the repair work! No longterm damage whatsoever though luckily

Rufus43 · 09/08/2013 16:18

Ds1 vaginal birth, comparatively quick and on my back due to midwife. Tore from one end to the other, literally, sewn up too loose at one end and too tight at the other. No prizes for guessing which way round!

Was told that because I was so fit that everything was vey toned and wasn't stretching ( no idea if that's true!) it didn't help that a doctor had his arm in me trying to get the placenta out!

Next two were ecs due to the above. Much easier!

Rufus43 · 09/08/2013 16:19

Ooh sorry, ds1 weighed 7lb 12.5 oz. so not that big

GoingVerySlowlyMad · 09/08/2013 16:45

DC1 - 8lb, lying flat on back with epidural in, needed episiotomy and had a third degree tear.

DC2 - 9lb 3ozs, home birth kneeling on floor leaning over bed, no stitches at all just a slight graze.

GibberTheMonkey · 09/08/2013 16:50

Ds1 9lb14 came out with his hand up to his face and left no trace
Ds2 8lb7.5 tore slightly

Others were smaller and cs and nothing

All my 'natural' births were on my knees after lots of walking

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 09/08/2013 17:17

DD2 was a big 13lb5oz and second degree tear. The size was a big health risk for me (and therefore her), but it turned out to be better than I expected (probably because I was dizzy on gas and air, mind you.)

bababababoom · 09/08/2013 17:47

1st baby 8lb 7

2nd baby 10lb 7

3rd baby 9lb 1

Not a stitch from any of them.

First baby was in hospital with epidural, so on my back.
Second and third I was lying on my left had side at home.

needaholidaynow · 09/08/2013 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cece · 09/08/2013 19:36

My largest was 11lb and 4oz. I didn't have stitches but did have a small tear. TBH he was the easiest of my three DC to birth,.

Sheshelob · 09/08/2013 20:38

I'm not sure where you get this smug thing from whateveryournameis as I never said it. "Lucky" isn't actually a negative thing to say. How can having a good birth experience not be lucky given all the issues that are endemic in childbirth? Are there fail safe things that ALL mothers can do to ensure a good birth? No. So luck plays a part.

Meh. You are actually reading my posts so I'm not sure why I am bothering.

Hmm
Sheshelob · 09/08/2013 20:38

Aren't!

SpeedwellBlue · 09/08/2013 21:35

Are there fail safe things that ALL mothers can do to ensure a good birth? No. So luck plays a part. Agree with that.

maddening · 09/08/2013 21:45

could you ask them to measure the skull size on the next scan and compare them to your other dc's stats? Could be a taller baby which would be fine? And if he is in optimum birth position? I think you need more info to make a decision here.

Original poster
wtfisgoingon · 09/08/2013 22:45

Thanks for the replies. I would really like to think that the body will only make a baby it can birth, it is just the look on the consultants face (and midwives) when i am suggesting hanging on a bit longer which kindles a bit of fear in me, and i definitely dont want to bring fear into the delivery room.

The skull size is comparable with ds2, it is just the abdominal circumference that is off the chart but, well, fat is squishy. Midwife now on hols till next wed (my due date).

I fainted this morning, which has never happened before pregnant or not. It was during reflexology session. Fine now but did go in for monitoring and all ok.

There was a MASSIVE baby born locally earlier this year which I think has influenced the pressure to bring me in. I did ask about reasons for ELCS, and it was concern re damage to me, and the possibility of shoulder dystocia (which occurred with the massive baby). Have looked into the whole shoulder dystocia thing, can happen with any size, and seems to be more of a birth position thing.

Ideally it will just drop out tomorrow or Sunday, can't be that much left of my pelvic floor!

OP posts:
PoppyWearer · 09/08/2013 22:50

Good luck OP!

FWIW I had such bad tearing from my DC1 (who weighed less than 6lbs) that I needed an epidural and a trip to theatre to be repaired.

Because of the position she got herself in, in the birthing canal (being smaller she had more room to move or something).

So it just goes to show!

Irishchic · 09/08/2013 23:04

If you are in any way worried about tearing, and if i were you, i would be as you have already had a 3rd degree tear, and presumably that has left its mark, then i would go for section.

I had a 3rd degree tear with dc3, 10lbs8oz, and have had bowel incontinence ever since. Sad

FloweryOwl · 09/08/2013 23:26

My daughter was only 7lb7oz but I had no signs of labour until my waters broke and then when they did it went very quickly and I was holding her 28mins later in the back of an ambulance with a nasty 3rd degree tear, she flew out, I was on my back, she was back to back and was born looking at me. Her elbows did most of the damage.

My son was 9lb 11oz, my waters broke when I wasn't in labour so the induced me and he was born 3 hours later after 6 minutes of pushing(didn't listen to 'slow down' & couldn't control it). Its weird to say now but I actually enjoyed him labour, mainly because I remember it. I ended up needing only a couple of stitches with him.

FloweryOwl · 09/08/2013 23:28

Was on my back with ds too.