Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if those of you with big babies tore badly?

143 replies

wtfisgoingon · 09/08/2013 07:40

And if you didn't what position were you in?

I have a thread on childbirth but need a bit more traffic to help me come to a decision.

In brief, ds1 8lb 7oz - third degree tear-was lying on my side (all happened quite quickly)

Ds2 was 10lb 11oz - couple of stitches-on my knees leaning on birthing ball.

Current baby growth scan results from last week (38 weeks) showed baby as 11lb. I refused induction and a csection and deferred decision till yesterday.

I asked for another scan yesterday (39 weeks) hoping that last weeks was incorrect. Scan yesterday showed a 12lb baby.

I have booked a csection for Monday as felt under pressure to do so, but I am wondering if this is the right thing to do. I had such wonderful births with the other 2, and never imagined a csection for dc3.

I am concerned about the baby getting stuck, but that can actually happen at any size. I gave birth to a whopper already, am hoping this is a good sign.

Another concern is bad tearing.

Is it inevitable past a certain size? Or, as I am hoping, is it affected by position of mother and baby for birth?

TIA

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 09/08/2013 13:07

Not massive babies but....

DS1 6lb 4oz, forced onto my back, told I was having an epidural, told I was having an episiotomy because otherwise "you will tear through to your anus. Do you want that? Then stop making a fuss"

DD2 8lb 4oz, so 2 full lbs bigger. Sitting up (chose to have an epidural) was more in control of pushing, position etc. Didnt get a nick.

Each baby since got slightly heavier each time and I havent torn at all. Seems to me that your body would never give you a baby you couldnt deliver.

LoremIpsum · 09/08/2013 13:09

DS2 was 11lb, quick labour, almost no tearing, no stitches. DS1 was smaller, 9lb8oz, but his head was bigger and that was much harder.

If you think the 11lb scan is accurate, best take some 3month sized nappies and clothes in with you. DS2 didn't fit into newborn sizes and DH had to dash out and get some bigger stuff for him.

I moved around a fair bit, got in the bath for a while, delivered him reclining with my legs braced.

MrsKeithRichards · 09/08/2013 13:12

Two 9lb babies, no stitches wizard sleeve

Tight as ever, according to dh.

MrsKeithRichards · 09/08/2013 13:13

On my knees for both

StraightJacket · 09/08/2013 13:15

I wouldn't rely on growth scans. They are mostly never right!

Ds1 - 6lbs 3oz, induced 4 weeks premature, ventouse delivery, had episiotomy and still had a second degree tear.

Ds2 - 9lbs 9oz full term, normal delivery, although he was back to back so still ended up with a second degree tear but probably wouldn't if he was the right way around.

It appears the heavier they are, the easier labour is, and the less chances of tearing there is.

Good luck Smile

LiegeAndLief · 09/08/2013 13:16

Second degree tear, 6lb6 baby. Size isn't everything!

She did have her hand up by her head, which didn't help...

5madthings · 09/08/2013 13:17

mine were all big apart from no 5. biggrst 10lb 13oz birn in pool, no tears at all. his head was off the top of the chart. with my others i was kneeling up and had small tears. worst tear was ds2, he wasnt that big 9lb 3oz and midwife said it wss his shoilders that made me tear not his head.

i think head size and position of baby make a diff.

will you consider induction? have they seen if you look favourable for induction?

SummerRain · 09/08/2013 13:32

My biggest was 8lb10. I was on my back as they'd turned me over to check how far along I was and I didn't have time to turn back. He was back to front with his arm over his head. Only labial grazes.

Ds2 was 8lb2 and I was on my knees, slight perineal tear but nothing serious.

MoosheKoochak · 09/08/2013 13:34

I can't help thinking it's a bit irresponsible to encourage someone you've never met to ignore medical advice on the basis of a couple of posts on mn? Growth scans can be inaccurate but she's had two that both suggest a big baby and unless anyone here is an obstetrician her doctors know a lot more than we do.

OP if you really don't want a C section I think you'd need to discuss it further with your consultant or midwife and see how strongly they insist on it. But having a safe delivery of a healthy baby is the most important thing.

MoosheKoochak · 09/08/2013 13:36

My personal experience isn't very relevant, I had a big baby (9lb 4) but had an episiostomy to speed up the process as her heart rate was dropping, so tearing wasn't an issue.

Nagoo · 09/08/2013 13:38

depends of position of baby IME, DS came out like superman only just forgiven him, DD was in 'luge' position and basically fell out. They were 9.7 and 8.15, so both big.

EatMyFoodFeelMyFork · 09/08/2013 13:45

Small 2nd degree tear, DS was 10lb 3oz. His position was really good (I think!?) Was in the pool most of time, but actually gave birth on a 'birthing stool' (looked really medieval! ) with Dp supporting me from behind. HTH

MummytoMog · 09/08/2013 13:46

I'm guessing that the OP will be delivering in hospital, with regular monitoring? So likelihood (given it will be a high risk delivery) is that any EMCS will occur sooner rather than later because midwives will spot any distress in baby? So I don't think it's irresponsible to suggest OP gives it a go. After my first delivery (and my very poorly baby) I still believed that a relatively unmedicalised birth was possible for DC2 and it worked out really well in the end, probably because I didn't drive across London in transition that time around, but also because I really knew what I was doing and was so much more relaxed. I wouldn't want a c section unless unavoidable, and I completely get why the OP feels conflicted about it.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 09/08/2013 13:53

One thing I forgot to mention was about the 2nd stage (the pushing bit). You are less likely to tear if you push when your body tells you, not when the MW does. A lot of MW's are calling for an end to directed pushing.

catinabox · 09/08/2013 14:08

Thanks for putting this post on OP. I am 37 weeks and have been wondering about this too.

My baby @ 32 weeks was estimated to be 4lbs 11. I am imagining that he is going to be enormous by the time he is born.

I plan to have an active labour at home but am aware anything can happen.

I would be interested to know whether people think perinium massage actually makes a difference.

catinabox · 09/08/2013 14:11

...i am guessing o.p that a position that makes best use of gravity is going to be better?

MrsMook · 09/08/2013 14:30

Unfortunately both of mine were back to back.
DS1 (8lb 10 huge head) wouldn't descend. Got distressed after two hours of pushing. EmCS. Still managed to earn myself a 1st degree tear from force of pushing prior to failed ventouse.

DS2 (8lb 6) was going much better, got himself to the point of no return. Monitoring for VBAC suggested possible distress (therefore panic over theoretical scar rupture) and a trip to theatre for forceps and 3rd degree tear. The labour was much quicker and more effective and had the monitoring not been a problem, I think my kneeling over the birthing ball we'd have been OK.

Not huge babies, but big for me and 2lb bigger than I was- DS1 being 2 days earlier and DS2 being same day as I was. If I get to DC3, please can I have one the right way round????

I'm glad I followed my instinct on DS2's birth. Not the perfect delivery, but still positive and I'm glad I avoided unnecessary surgery.

mrslyman · 09/08/2013 14:41

shelob No I'm not projecting, I just think that anyone who accuses a women who has shared all of just part of her both story of being smug and lucky because the experience was positive is incredibly rude.

LilacPeony · 09/08/2013 14:49

What reason has the obs given for putting you under pressure to have a section? If it's that they believe it would be putting you or the baby in danger to have a natural birth then I wouldn't risk it personally for the sake of a good birth experience.

tumbletumble · 09/08/2013 14:55

I have 3 DC, all pretty big (8lb 10oz or thereabouts). I had an episiotomy with DC1 so didn't tear. Very minor tears with DC2 (3 stitches) and DC3 (no stitches). Gave birth to all three of them lying on my back (the only position that works for me).

LilacPeony · 09/08/2013 14:57

I agree with MoosheKoochak OP if you plan to give natural birth a go with a view to having a EMCS if problems occur, you'd need to check with the obs that there are always theatres free for EMCSs. Isn't there a risk that they could all be full up with people who were already having planned or emergency sections? Perhaps a medical person who is reading will know this?

YouStoleMyHat · 09/08/2013 14:59

DD was 10lb 10 and very chunky with it with a huge head - wouldn't have torn at all apart from her arm got stuck after her head was out! (Extremely annoying) Even then only a second degree tear and I am tiny.

thisisyesterday · 09/08/2013 15:03

i had a second degree tear with 9lb 1oz ds1, but that was a ventouse delivery.

ds2 and ds3 were 9lb 5 and 9lb 11 respectively ad I didn't tear with either of them.. gave birth to both of them in a kneeling position

thisisyesterday · 09/08/2013 15:04

btw did they tell you there is an approximate 20% margin of error on those scan-based weight guesses???

if you do a search on here you will find, literally, hundreds of women who have been told their babies will be giant only to give birth to quite normal sized children!

FryOneFatManic · 09/08/2013 15:05

DD was a CS.

The DS was VBAC, 8lb 1oz, no tearing but I had some internal stitches due to DS's hand coming out next to his head and his fingernails had left some deep scratches in the vagina. Mum joked DS was getting ready for a mobile phone Grin