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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed about this stag weekend

88 replies

r3d3 · 08/08/2013 22:37

Just found that DH will be spending his birthday away on a stag weekend. It's the middle day of a three-dayer (rolls eyes) so I won't see him or speak to him at all on his birthday. Apparently he doesn't do birthdays, so it doesn't matter.

I don't think it's even that that bothers me, it's that he isn't even particularly close to this guy, he hates stag weekends as a rule, and he's just going because "that's what you do". I know this guy would not do the same for him, and most guys going will be total dicks (media people).

Oh and another thing, their bloody wedding is no children, which is fine, but no exception for breast-fed infants, so I can't go.

AIBU, and either way, take pity on me with suggestions as to what to do with a 4mo DS for three days on my own, since literally all our family and friends will be away on holiday.

OP posts:

MikeOxard · 10/08/2013 21:04

I'd be annoyed. But then dh wouldn't go. He would prefer the company of his own family to some drunk twats for the weekend, aside from the financial and responsibility issues.

Original poster

r3d3 · 10/08/2013 22:03

Chatty there aren't that many going on the stag so I don't know. But you reminded me that the stag always makes horrible remarks on facebook re posts about babies and children. (Not mine, I don't FB them.)

Thank you for all the farting mid-thread :)

Thanks everyone for making me not feel too unreasonable about this, and sort out my feelings: it's definitely the stag I don't like; DH is only guilty of being too nice to him (and me, and everyone).

This has been very helpful, 10/10, would AIBU again.

OP posts:

Rhubarbgarden · 10/08/2013 22:37

Yanbu at all to have a whinge about this. My dh went off on a three day stag do last weekend, over my birthday, for a friend he rarely sees. He didn't want to go. He didn't enjoy himself. He rang me several times complaining he was missing the kids.

For my part, it felt like a loooong couple of weeks of looking after the kids without a break.

What a total waste of time and money. I just don't get this whole "it's just what you do" crap that they come out with. I wasn't going to tell him he couldn't go, but I am totally, utterly mystified as to why he did.

IfYouLeaveMeNow · 10/08/2013 23:14

Get a grip. 3 days is hardly forever. YABU.

IfYouLeaveMeNow · 10/08/2013 23:16

Out of interest, if you were to be invited to a 3 day hen, would you jump at the chance for a weekend off?

northernlurker · 10/08/2013 23:20

GIven that apparently Prince William has been given licence by Kate to go on a stag do when their baby is only two weeks old I think the OP can muddle through

YouTheCat · 10/08/2013 23:31

I'd reckon Kate has a bit more adult contact and plenty of help though.

OctopusPete8 · 10/08/2013 23:38

Thank you're lucky stars and heavens you only have one non-mobile child to be left alone with,

I have been left alone twice, heavily pg,severe morning sickness with SN 2 year old.

2nd time 9 month old, nealry 4 year old one is teething has severe reflux the other is potty training that is a death sentence I tell ya, I wanted to rip faces off by the time DP returned.

jellybeans · 11/08/2013 00:51

I agree with Pinupgirl. 3 day stag or hen is more of a single lads or girls thing surely? What a waste of time and money. These things are pushed as the norm so people try be Ok about them lest they seem prudish. Was so grim when my FIL casually said he was going on a stag weekend involving strip clubs etc. He said it as it was so normal but to me he just seemed dirty old man!

Mawgatron · 11/08/2013 09:04

I am going to go against the grain here and say he should go. We had a baby in early June, DH is going on a stag in mid sept. my solution? Book a weekend to Ibiza with the girls the previous weekend so he can look after the baby...

HaroldLloyd · 11/08/2013 09:15

Depends - I don't mind DP doing things like this he has nice friends and they as not going out dry humping.

If its not a close friend he probably wouldn't want to go as its a lot of money. I also went abroad for a weekend to see a friend so we both have turns.

I don't think stags and weekends away are the stuff of single people and humpers!

Original poster

r3d3 · 11/08/2013 10:43

If I was invited on a 3 day hen, it would have to be a very close friend for me to go to the whole thing, otherwise i'd go for a day/evening. That's pre and post baby.

VileWoman: I know, it makes me feel like I'm going to explode

Mawgatron: Please teach my baby to take a bottle :(

jellybeans: That is seedy!

OP posts:

MissDuke · 11/08/2013 11:31

Is your dh planning on going to the wedding despite you not being able to go? That would actually irritate me, my dh didn't go to his sister's wedding because she had a no children rule, which included our EBF 2 month old.

I was invited to a 3 day hen weekend, at that time I had dd who was 6 and ds who was 2. I went for one night instead and had a great time.

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