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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Not Want My Speshul Posh Things Ruined By eBaying Proles?

55 replies

MadameOvary · 08/08/2013 00:37

I've always loved heavy old silver Jewellery. I remember coveting an Elsa Peretti heart back in the day. I loved her pens too. I thought the toggle-fastening jewellery was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. And then...and then, suddenly they were EVERYWHERE! WTF? You'd go into Asda and the checkout girl would have a "Return To Tiffany" slung artlessly round her neck. I was so traumatised I never allowed myself to get close to a jewellery brand again. I felt the pull of Links of London but held back and now I'm glad I did, because every Sweetie Bracelet I saw dangling from an unwashed wrist gave me a flutter of yearning swiftly replaced by first dismay at their ubiquity then outright disgust at the loss of yet one more thing that might have set me apart from the bovine, graceless crowd.

So I turned to handbags. First it was the Louis Vuitton Speedy. Ten years ago I had a lovely one I bought from eBay and I felt really speshul, mainly because you rarely saw them and if you did see a Common Person with one it was usually a fake and a shit multicoloured one at that.
So everyone that saw you thought you were dead classy and loaded and eyed your bag longingly, knowing it was something they Would Never Have.

Now you can't turn a corner without some slob swinging one of the crook of their bobbled polyester elbow. How the fuck do these people afford them? Oh yeah - eBay. Back in the day no-one but professionals knew anything about what to look for in a genuine bag. Which was great because i could snap 'em up. Take my pick. They were ALL MINE. Now everyone's a sodding expert. Thanks eBay. Could you not have just been a little less greedy and stayed small?

THEN it was the Chloe Paddington. I loved my Paddy but fuck me the number of times I saw people with cringingly bad fakes - I mean bright pink plastic FFS! - got old really quickly. And then Paul's Boutique vomited all over them and that was that. Don't even get me started on those diamante padlock monstrosities. Mine was sold tout suite before you could say "Elephants Bawsac" (2003 edition with silver hardware, since you ask)

The biggest outrage and the final straw, has been the proliferation of Mulberry Bayswaters. Vuitton and Chloe I can kind of understand. It's the WAG/Essex girl thing isn't it? But Bayswaters are the epitome of chic, understated elegance. I loved my chocolate Bay, felt really speshul when out with it, even laughed at the reeeelly obvious fakes. The only people with genuine ones were elegant, classy people who didn't have to flaunt their wealth or plaster labels everywhere. Which meant that I was One Of Them. Even though I took the bus and was on benefits. Didn't matter! I had a Bayswater! And then the day came when Someone Else On The Bus had one. And it was a bit scruffy. And so was she. Which meant she'd obviously bought hers from eBay. I sold mine the next day.

How the fuck am I supposed to feel superior to all the other drones if I can't buy my designer accessories at a fraction of the price because a) Every other sheep has the same idea and b) Some heartless bastard has sold millions of nearly-good-enough fakes, thus making it truly accessible to even the poorest soap-dodger.

How can you covet something everyone has? Its cachet is completely diluted. The only way I can look posh now, according to Sunday Times Style Magazine, is to go out without a bag, then everyone will assume my driver has it. This is a great idea and I'm just passing it on because I CAN'T be the only one who feels like this!!!

OP posts:
BOF · 08/08/2013 00:41

Tell me about it. Kirsty Allsop gives me the RAGE by letting the hipster classes into charity shops. You can't buy a 30s sideboard now for less than a hundred quid Angry.

It does amuse me though that salvaged shopping trolley chairs will be the next decade's twigs n' pebbly shit.

AngusAndElspethsThistleWhistle · 08/08/2013 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AKissIsNotAContract · 08/08/2013 00:46

Go for better brands. Get a Bottega Venetta

Arisbottle · 08/08/2013 00:47

If you like something I don't see why it matters who else has it.

When I first started earning good money I used to treat myself to things I thought were aspirational, the things I thought someone like me would never have. The other women I worked with were mercilessly cruel to me about having things they thought people like me should not have.

Saffyz · 08/08/2013 00:51

YABU, but I think you know that Grin

DameDoom · 08/08/2013 00:59

Madame I have had a late night hoot at your post - very droll indeed. Let's see the AIBU reaction. Mind you, the way S&B is going in some quarters in may be milder. Can't wait to see how this lil' beaut goes down Grin

Sleepyhoglet · 08/08/2013 01:04

Ha, I love this!

DameDoom · 08/08/2013 01:12

H'actually, my driver, Melvin, did admire the olde worlde charme of my slightly battered Bayswater this very morn. In fact, he nearly collided with a combined as we hurtled onto a layby, just to admire the heritage of my bag and have a tinkle/rearrange of his greasy combover. Sadly, no bugger else on the Wallace Arnold could be bothered to bow to my sartorial superiority... 'twas all talk of toasted teacakes and trips to Yorkshire Lavender. If old people ate less and shopped less in M&S food hall, they too could buy designer goods... But they wouldn't cos' they knew years ago that the proles would prevail.

Original poster
MadameOvary · 08/08/2013 01:12

Oh yes BOF re Kirstie "I'm posh but let me show you peasants how to fake it" Allsop.

Never took to Bottega. The woven leather makes my teeth itch. i dunno...It reminds me of wicker furniture or something

And I did commission a one-off silver piece, dahling. Finding the Hermes
Crescendo a teensy bit beyond my means I asked a jeweller to come up with something similar. Not a copy...that would be tacky. Currently one is being offered on eBay for nearly £800. How come the counterfeiters couldn't manage to rustle them up, hmmm? Now the Chain d'Ancre, that's bloody everywhere Angry

Sigh. I know I'm being UR really. It's just hard when one's options for individuality through the expression of taste are non-existent. Why does every other fucker have to like the good stuff? Can't they all piss off and pick something less exclusive like Versace or Armani I don't like them so that's ok

OP posts:
Original poster
MadameOvary · 08/08/2013 01:22

DameDoom please tell me that your slightly battered Bayswater is in fact a UK-bought Mulberry for Target import. You can't take a NVT leather Bay onto a Wallace Arnold. That is just Not In The Natural Order of Things and I may weep.

OP posts:
FreudiansSlipper · 08/08/2013 01:25

Louis Vuitton Speedy has always been the bag of the nouveau riche ladies bag for as long as i can remember that is way over 10 years ago why would anyone want to carry round this horrible old ladies bag

buy vintage does not have to be designer but you will not meet many many others with the same bag :)

DameDoom · 08/08/2013 01:33

Targetschmarget. Melvin had the heat whacked up to magma-setting and the smell of ancient vintage fur and Tahitian pearls covered in out- of-date Elnett was headier than a Morrocan souk. These women had lived style itself. They were splashing out £9.00 a piece on a quartered Mighty White egg and cress sandwich with just the merest dusting of Walkers crisps as a garnish.

Arisbottle · 08/08/2013 02:38

I am the epitome of nouveau riche and have a collection of Louis Vuitton bags, pleased to see I am living up to my stereotype.

Mouthfulofquiz · 08/08/2013 06:45

I was mildly pissed off recently that a friend bought a shit copy of my mulberry daria clutch bag on holiday and bloody wears it everywhere I would take mine so now I just don't use it because its quite eye catching and it looks like we're matching on purpose. She spent about £80 on it...,, why not just buy a really nice bag for that much money rather than an obvious fake. Urrrrgggggh.
(First world problems eh??!!)

MrsSchadenfreude · 08/08/2013 06:57

Darling, you are falling into the trap of buying makes that are terribly obvious. May I recommend Delvaux for your bags? Only really smart people and Belgians will whisper covetously "Is that a Delvaux?" as they spot the discreet little "D".

Original poster
MadameOvary · 08/08/2013 08:48

Mouthfulofquiz £80 on a shit fake copy of a bag that you own?? Ouch.

OP posts:
dirtyface · 08/08/2013 08:54

oh you would hate me OP

i live in a council house, have kids by different dads, am quite chavvy. yet i have got TWO balenciaga giant city bags in different colours

both genuine (bought in better times)

and i also have a fake tiffany heart bracelet that dh was given for me by his dodgy mate

HooverFairy · 08/08/2013 08:55

I feel your pain, especially when people are actually proud of their copies. I use my genuine Mulberry bags and feel smug when I see a shit copy, I'm not going to stop using them just because someone else has a copy.

Bluestocking · 08/08/2013 08:57

"Only really smart people and Belgians". For some reason, this juxtaposition tickles me even more than the idea of the miasma of ancient fur and out-of-date Elnett on a WA charabanc ...

KirjavaTheCat · 08/08/2013 09:00

I'll have you know my tiffany bracelet looks well genuine.

MorrisZapp · 08/08/2013 09:07

My DP bought a Gucci cross-body man purse/ bag thing. He looked like an utter tosser with it, as his friends delighted in telling him.

Onto eBay it went. Blimey, that was a week and a half. Never had so many poorly spelled emails in my life.

My advice: if you buy anything genuine, keep as much of the packaging and receipts as you can. No matter how much you love your branded baby now, eBay will inevitably beckon at some point. You'll get more money if you can prove it's real.

(Also as an insurance bod, DP keeps all pricey receipts as a matter of course, and so should you)

Love this thread. Keep the satire coming :)

greeneyed · 08/08/2013 09:09

Now you can't turn a corner without some slob swinging one of the crook of their bobbled polyester elbow.

Ha ha ha , love this :)

therumoursaretrue · 08/08/2013 09:12

This has made my morning Grin

Original poster
MadameOvary · 08/08/2013 09:14

^My DP bought a Gucci cross-body man purse/ bag thing. He looked like an utter tosser with it, as his friends delighted in telling him.

Onto eBay it went. Blimey, that was a week and a half. Never had so many poorly spelled emails in my life.^

I'm laughing, but that actually made my teeth itch.

OP posts:
Shrugged · 08/08/2013 09:14

Oh my dear, do not move to Dubai. (Though I doubt you would any way, as it is crammed with arrivistes...) It pullulates with fake bags, some of them alarmingly good. The women with the real LV, Hermes etc are always craning their necks at expat coffee mornings trying to see the lining of one another's designer bags to check. It gives them terrible neck ache...