To Not Want My Speshul Posh Things Ruined By eBaying Proles?

[MadameOvary]

I've always loved heavy old silver Jewellery. I remember coveting an Elsa Peretti heart back in the day. I loved her pens too. I thought the toggle-fastening jewellery was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. And then...and then, suddenly they were EVERYWHERE! WTF? You'd go into Asda and the checkout girl would have a "Return To Tiffany" slung artlessly round her neck. I was so traumatised I never allowed myself to get close to a jewellery brand again. I felt the pull of Links of London but held back and now I'm glad I did, because every Sweetie Bracelet I saw dangling from an unwashed wrist gave me a flutter of yearning swiftly replaced by first dismay at their ubiquity then outright disgust at the loss of yet one more thing that might have set me apart from the bovine, graceless crowd.

So I turned to handbags. First it was the Louis Vuitton Speedy. Ten years ago I had a lovely one I bought from eBay and I felt really speshul, mainly because you rarely saw them and if you did see a Common Person with one it was usually a fake and a shit multicoloured one at that.
So everyone that saw you thought you were dead classy and loaded and eyed your bag longingly, knowing it was something they Would Never Have.

Now you can't turn a corner without some slob swinging one of the crook of their bobbled polyester elbow. How the fuck do these people afford them? Oh yeah - eBay. Back in the day no-one but professionals knew anything about what to look for in a genuine bag. Which was great because i could snap 'em up. Take my pick. They were ALL MINE. Now everyone's a sodding expert. Thanks eBay. Could you not have just been a little less greedy and stayed small?

THEN it was the Chloe Paddington. I loved my Paddy but fuck me the number of times I saw people with cringingly bad fakes - I mean bright pink plastic FFS! - got old really quickly. And then Paul's Boutique vomited all over them and that was that. Don't even get me started on those diamante padlock monstrosities. Mine was sold tout suite before you could say "Elephants Bawsac" (2003 edition with silver hardware, since you ask)

The biggest outrage and the final straw, has been the proliferation of Mulberry Bayswaters. Vuitton and Chloe I can kind of understand. It's the WAG/Essex girl thing isn't it? But Bayswaters are the epitome of chic, understated elegance. I loved my chocolate Bay, felt really speshul when out with it, even laughed at the reeeelly obvious fakes. The only people with genuine ones were elegant, classy people who didn't have to flaunt their wealth or plaster labels everywhere. Which meant that I was One Of Them. Even though I took the bus and was on benefits. Didn't matter! I had a Bayswater! And then the day came when Someone Else On The Bus had one. And it was a bit scruffy. And so was she. Which meant she'd obviously bought hers from eBay. I sold mine the next day.

How the fuck am I supposed to feel superior to all the other drones if I can't buy my designer accessories at a fraction of the price because a) Every other sheep has the same idea and b) Some heartless bastard has sold millions of nearly-good-enough fakes, thus making it truly accessible to even the poorest soap-dodger.

How can you covet something everyone has? Its cachet is completely diluted. The only way I can look posh now, according to Sunday Times Style Magazine, is to go out without a bag, then everyone will assume my driver has it. This is a great idea and I'm just passing it on because I CAN'T be the only one who feels like this!!!

Oh dear. ^^ Italics fail!

Dubai is my idea of hell, Shrugged .

But dirtyface that's ok. You clearly bought them from an approved retailer. And in better times. That's different That's ok.

Lol madame

glad you approve :o

Two words.

Anya Hindmarch.

Never seen a fake. Too classy for povo's. Not bling enough for teenagers.

I buy them from EBay.

YANBU.
I was furious after having saved for over a year for my Chanel 2:55 to find a load of orange hair extended velour tracksuit wearers strutting about town with fake chanels dangling from their plastic overlong talons.

I should have learnt, the year before I'd bought louboutins and now every z lister and wag wannabe is tottering about in them. Gutted.

Thank you to the little witch on here mentioning delvaux. Just googled them and now have the major lusties.

I'm afraid I shall never forgive Ms Hindmarch for these

And it was Tiffany all over again when I coveted a Be-A-Bag, and scarcely had I drawn breath to voice this when tat like this was being overfilled with Fanta and Gregg's pasties and lugged everywhere.

Nasty.

Very nasty, never had either.

Leather only for me though.

Honestly, I don't understand a fucking word of this (don't know the first thing about bags/jewelry/shoes/any of it) but this thread has had me laughing really loudly, so thank you very much!

Wasn't it you who made the fab Diptyque/Malone - style candles Laurie?
You sound like my kind of person - the kind who'd rather her house smelt of manure than allow Glade Touch n'Fresh to darken her door.

Yes, that's me. Doing it today weirdly as I'm packing to move house and I have dozens of almost empty teacups and a giant bag of wax. They will be easier to pack full

it's terrible that there are so many poor imitations of everything, including writing styles, everywhere

Your mistake is reading the Sunday Times Style magazine. It's all dumbed down for the cash-strapped these days. The FT Weekend magazine "How to spend it" will steer you straight and true every time. Case in point - if your sunglasses cost under £300 you're clearly not doing it right.

No idea what any of you are on about.

I tote my gear around in a Morrisons carrier bag.

Also most of the things they recommend are bespoke to avoid exactly this problem. The phrase to drop is "artisanal luxe". See here on bespoke jeans (although sadly that column sometimes verges on the tongue in cheek, the factual information is still useful so you can point DH to Udeshi to get his denim tailored, helpfully listed as "just a few doors up from Dunhill on Davies Street").

They don't need to mention that that's Davies Street in London of course, since no real people live beyond SW3 let alone the M25.

I think you should go nowhere without your trademark sheath of gladioli. I am sure that Norm could carry them for you. Let the proles weep, they will never match the style of the deathless Dame.

I only ever sport one off originals dahling.

The biters love painting new designs on the sides of Mummy's big white bags.

I call it supermarket chic

I mean look at them, they come with hand sewn Fijian mother of pearl buttons. Ain't no proles gonna be able to copy THAT. Inspired by a century-old vintage print of a tycoon! Ideal with a cashmere blazer!

outright disgust at the loss of yet one more thing that might have set me apart from the bovine, graceless crowd.

That has really made me laugh. I think you and I might have rather a lot in common Madame.

I'm still bristling with indignation about spending 300 quid on an absolutely state of the art lamp from a very trendy designer shop in That London and then seeing IKEA knock out a copy for about 20 quid two years later, and within 5 years you could even buy them in bloody Argos.

That was about 12 years ago and I'm still not over it.

Oh dear. I am CRYING at 'some slob swinging one on their bobbled polyester elbow'

I think this is going to be my Post Of The Year.

The women with the real LV, Hermes etc are always craning their necks at expat coffee mornings trying to see the lining of one another's designer bags to check. It gives them terrible neck ache...

that would be me then. I actually genuinely did this at an expat party a couple of months ago.

Oh God. I can't believe I just admitted that.

We both had Chanel 2.55s. I know what to look for, and hers was a very obvious fake.

whereas mine was an extremely good one.

The only tiny nidge I can see wrong with this is that I make Brora cashmere look like bloody polyester unless I do my hair/make up a lot.

And after half an hour in summer I look like a bag of baggy shite.

I think the point about fake bags is that they have to be very good fakes - and they don't come cheap, and are very labour intensive to source. And also you have to look like you could actually afford the real thing - otherwise it's a bit of a dead giveaway from the off. Unless you are some kind of lunatic who spends a grand or more on a bag but doesn't pay the gas bill.

I can afford the real thing but look like I can't as I am usually smelling of manure and sound like a fishwife. Not sure why I would care that someone has a fake bag and certainly wouldn't check.

Unless you are concerned about money being made to fund other illegal activity, which I don't think is the case

Next time you are selling a Mulberry in a fit a pique, do drop me a PM :)

I will send you vast numbers pictures of toothless people with pitbulls and polyester attire carrying them until you are so disgusted you let me have it for a tenner