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Original poster

to think we owe it to our DC to let our armpits go feral?

292 replies

ClockWatchingLady · 07/08/2013 10:15

When our kids are little, shouldn't they see that women have body hair (and accept it rather than remove it)?
Once they're in their teens, they'll probably see endless full-body-waxed women online, whether we like it or not.
So while they're little and forming their basic impressions of the female body, shouldn't we stop all this bloody depilation? Whether we feel comfortable with it or not, don't we owe it to the younger generation?

Yours faithfully,
Mr Tumnus

OP posts:
Supertrooper88 · 07/08/2013 11:23

I am becoming more realxed about my hairy pits. There was a time where they were shaved everyday not even a slight shadow of regrowth allowed. Then I started to wax them and had to allow some growth to do that. I do still wax but actually sometimes I go rather longer periods of time between waxing now and sometimes its quite hairy under there.

I would not go on an evening out on a sleeveless top but day to day I dont care and dont care who stares tbh.

StarfishEnterprise · 07/08/2013 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jamdonut · 07/08/2013 11:28

In the summer I shave arm-pits and legs more often,(once a week) but I'm not a slave to it.

In the winter,when everything's covered up, I do it less often.

My DH is not bothered by it in the slightest, but then he is a hairy man,with a moustache and beard.

Caster8 · 07/08/2013 11:30

I will carry on shaving mine thanks. Takes all of 5 minutes once a month.
Kids can make their own minds up. Actually they are teens and more. Their choice what they do.

op. Cant your kids make up their own minds when they get there?
But ps,personally I didnt let mine read too many teenage mags/watch an overdose of specific teenagy things/computers kept in living room stuff.
For far more reasons than body hair.

Original poster
ClockWatchingLady · 07/08/2013 11:34

Starfish - good questions. I'm not sure there are any good answers.

Do people find beard hair "disgusting" in the same way as people (some people) seem to find female body hair?

OP posts:
BitchyRestingFace · 07/08/2013 11:37

I shave my pits in summer for personal comfort but don't generallly bother in winter. Same with legs. Pubes never.

I don't make any of these decisions for the good of my DCs, but you do raise a good point, and I do think it's important (to me, anyway) to show that there is nothing shameful about a normal naked body. This is why I don't make a fuss about privacy when changing, showering, etc. They have seen me empty my Mooncup (horrified fascination the first time Grin , boringly normal now). I have never really thought about the hair side of things, but I suppose that's part of the same thing.

theodorakisses · 07/08/2013 11:43

I am not against beards generally but I used to swim in a local pool and every day a man with a very long beard used to swim there. After seeing him in the queue with the remains of many, many meals poking out of it, I did find that particular beard repellent! Especially the eggy floaters in his lane...

HellonHeels · 07/08/2013 11:43

I've had hairy legs / armpits in my student days. These days I shave them. My choice. I'd have no time for a man or a woman expressing a view on my choice - it's a MYOB situation.

People should make up their own minds about hair removal. I'm not keen on these types of threads because they tend to degenerate into posters telling other posters what to do or think or end up with different choices being slated for various reasons.

Live and let live, I say. Shave or not shave.

Original poster
ClockWatchingLady · 07/08/2013 11:50

Bitchyrestingface - yes, my kids were both horrified the first few times they saw a tampon.
Caster8 - yes, I'd hope my kids could make their own minds up, but I think our decisions/preferences are probably heavily influenced by what we see early on. Sounds like you do a good job on the mags/computer stuff. I hope I can do the same, but don't feel massively confident given the availability of various form of technology out of the house.

OP posts:
Original poster
ClockWatchingLady · 07/08/2013 11:54

Hellonheels - this thread was most definitely not intended to consist of anyone telling anyone else what to do. It's an issue I wonder about (I think it brings up some very important issues), and wanted to spark sensible discussion, largely from a theoretical perspective (but with implications for what I, and maybe others, do). However, perhaps I as OP didn't manage to achieve that.

OP posts:
TheSunTheMoonTheTruth · 07/08/2013 11:55

I sometimes shave my armpits, sometimes I don't. I depends less on the influence or impact from or on my children, and more on whether I have a clean blade for my razor. Same with my legs. The children see that I have hair on my legs, they also see that sometimes I shave them off.

happygirl87 · 07/08/2013 11:56

Clock thanks for starting this (sincerely!), am watching with interest- DSD (8) asked me why Daddy doesn't shave under his arms, which prompted a chat about how often ladies remove hair and often men don't, but it's fine for people to do what they want. I mentioned that it was sad if anybody felt like they had to do one or the other, and we went online and looked at pics of the Armpits for August campaign, which attempts to normalise hariness, I believe in support of PCOS (as well as presumably in the name of feminism)

Did I do it right?! Grin

Original poster
ClockWatchingLady · 07/08/2013 12:12

Thanks happygirl Smile
I would be very happy if I managed to give such reasonable, thoughtful answers to my kids' questions

OP posts:
minkembernard · 07/08/2013 12:16

This may start about armpits, it will fast work it's way down to vaginas. They always do. With a bit of leg and forearm on the way.

way back up there...
if only this post was not about depilationWink and if only they did... Grin

I thought this was a thread about armpits for august...which I am campaigning to have renamed Oxtober.

Feminine · 07/08/2013 12:24

I think its fine to leave it in the winter.

Swimsuits etc...look a little bit odd with sideburns!

Actually so do knickers, but I don't tend to go out and about in just those.

I suppose, that you could give it a go clock and see how things work out?

Parmarella · 07/08/2013 12:29

I have shown the DC my stubble ( or well, they pointed an laughed) . I said all women have hair in their pits and bits, and that some (most) shave it off. They were fascinated...for 2 seconds.
(8 and 11)

Still, thought it important to mention.

Parmarella · 07/08/2013 12:30

Oxtober!!!M

MrsMelons · 07/08/2013 12:33

I must be having a really bad day as I am still Confused as to why it matters if children growing up think its normal to be hairy/hair free.

I could understand if this was about making sure children have good eating habits and don't get hung up on dieting etc but what harm can it do for teens to start shaving/waxing etc?

Please someone put me out of my misery . . .

HellonHeels · 07/08/2013 12:55

I reckon it could be covered by conversations, rather than actual modelling of a particular mode of hairy/non-hairy.

But I don't think children are 'owed' hairy armpits, no. As long as some judgement-free discussion or information is supplied.

I think it's fine to guide young people on important issues - smoking, drinking, exercise etc. Hair removal comes down to personal choice - or it should do.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 07/08/2013 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 07/08/2013 13:01

Errrrrr no thanks, ou can though. I like wearing cami tops in this wether, I really do not want mini bushes under each arm, not nice on men or women!

Caster8 · 07/08/2013 13:09

I can see that you are serious about this issue, and are genuinely concerned.
fwiw, I dont think that young persons up to about 8 notice anything much.
I think from about 8 to age 12, family influences still hold sway over peers and outside influences.
After that, bit harder for parents to influence.

phantomnamechanger · 07/08/2013 13:10

Mrs Melon - I think it's about whether we teach our children they have a CHOICE and that CHOICE is theirs and theirs alone, and that there is no right or wrong - their decision is "right for them" - so that they do not feel they are somehow a freak or different if they choose not to shave their pits, for example, and are in the minority among their friends. Teen boys may have a perception of what a naked woman looks like from porn - and teen girls should not feel under pressure to "conform" to suit their bloke. That's how I see it anyway.

LurcioLovesFrankie · 07/08/2013 13:33

Already had this conversation with 5 year old DS - as someone said upthread, they are already surrounded by women with shaved pits, ads on telly for depilation products, so they know what the stereotypes are. He pointed to my hairy armpits and said "only men are supposed to have hair there" to which I replied that women grew hair there too, some chose to shave, some didn't, a bit like beards and moustaches.

Why make a big deal of it? Well, because I want him to grow up thinking it genuinely is a woman's own personal choice which matters, not his opinion on the subject. (And so that when he gets a girlfriend at some stage in his teens - or a boyfriend - hopefully he won't choose according to social pressure about what counts as acceptable in terms of appearance).

And all those who are saying - as usual - that it's a free choice: no it's not, not in a society like ours where there is enormous pressure to conform. Aesthetically I prefer shaven (but that's just the culture in which I'm immersed), from a comfort point of view I find I'm actually sweatier and more uncomfortable when I do shave, but I choose not to shave some of the time just because I'm bloody minded that way and object to the social pressure to do so. But I can tell you, as someone who sometimes goes swimming (shock horror) or wears sleeveless tops with hairy pits, people do feel free to notice and comment.

MrsMelons · 07/08/2013 13:42

thanks phantom. I think I can understand its worth a conversation but I certainly won't be growing armpit hair to prove the point, I am fairly open with my dcs and will epilate my underarms or legs in front of my children but they have no real interest in what I am doing (5 & 7 YO boys), I faff around with all sorts of body treatments, lotions etc they pay no attention to me!

Most people surely understand that porn is porn and RL is RL, I am yet to meet a teenager or adult who doesn't TBH. I am inclined to believe it is not that much of an issue and there are worse things teenagers are under pressure to do/not do than a bit of shaving or waxing.

I don't have teenagers yet but was one myself of course and it was part of my daily grooming to shave etc but never felt any pressure at all. I was a dancer so would have looked pretty unpleasant to have armpit hair etc but no one ever told me I should/shouldn't.