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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is inappropriate?

90 replies

MumTo2x · 05/08/2013 17:55

Hi,
DD1 (9) came in to me today and told me she wanted to start dancing, and doing competitive dance. I decided to youtube exactly what competitive dance was, as I'd never really heard of dance competitions before, and these were the first 3 videos that came up.

To me, they seem extremely inappropriate, but AIBU? I read through some of the comments, and no one else really seems to think it's wrong, so is it just me being a bit old fashioned? This is the first time she's ever shown interest in a sport, so I don't want to stop her, but at the same time, it seems so wrong to me that people could let their kids dance like that..

OP posts:

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 05/08/2013 17:56

yuk.

That's just so wrong.

They're children.

How can anyone think a child dancing like that is appropriate?

mrsravelstein · 05/08/2013 17:59

it's gross

maddening · 05/08/2013 17:59

Yanbu at all!

magimedi · 05/08/2013 18:00

I've just looked at one for a few moments and YANBU.

I wouldn't let my child do that.

StayAwayFromTheEdge · 05/08/2013 18:01

Bloody awful - pity the parents can't direct their talents to something age appropriate.

Original poster

MumTo2x · 05/08/2013 18:05

Glad I'm not the only one.
Like I said, I don't want to stop her dancing if she wants to do it, but all the videos I've looked at seem to be like that, so I'm not sure what to do.

OP posts:

IneedAyoniNickname · 05/08/2013 18:07

I don't like children dancing like that either (although the 10 year old is talented)
There are plenty of dance styles that can be done at competitive level though. Could you dd not do one of those?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 05/08/2013 18:07

There are dance competitions that are the polar opposite of those you link to. Those on the links are very inappropriate and I would never let DD do any of that!

I did dance competitively for a few years, but I stuck to ballroom and latin American. Much less provocative. Maybe steer her in that direction... But only if you are not allergic to glitter spray...

OwlinaTree · 05/08/2013 18:08

Humm, they seem very talented, the second video especially.

I'm not sure about the costumes, they seem to show a lot of flesh, seems a bit unnecessary for small children.

What about something a bit more traditional like ballroom or tap dancing, don't they have competitions too? Or does she particularly want to do this cos a friend does it? Would she be able to cope with being 'judged' in a competition, the crowd seemed pretty wild in that second video.

ChippingInHopHopHop · 05/08/2013 18:08

I'm not even looking at those links.

You are being reactionary. Has your DD said that the dancing on those links is what she wants to do?

You can dance competitively in all styles of dance. For all you know, unless you ask - she might want to do street or ballet or tap or tango...

PoodleFlavouredFreddos · 05/08/2013 18:09

I don't like it.

fatfingers · 05/08/2013 18:09

They are very good dancers, especially the last girl but imo the dances are too old for them - very bump and grind - and the costumes are inappropriate for such young children. I would encourage my dd into a different type of dancing - maybe street dancing which looks quite similar to me but without the revealing costumes and the hip wiggling!

OwlinaTree · 05/08/2013 18:09

x post with IneedAyoni

PicnicPie · 05/08/2013 18:12

Wooooaaaaahhh! YANBU. I only got through 20 seconds of the first clip then had to switch off. Totally and utterly inappropriate at that age.

I'm sure though that there are many decent dance clubs out there that cater to a wider variety of non provocative dance styles.

BeckAndCall · 05/08/2013 18:17

But OP, is that what she means?

My girls danced competitively in a ballroom and Latin league - we would describe that as competitive dance? Is that what she means?

Original poster

MumTo2x · 05/08/2013 18:20

Just asked DD, she said she wants to jazz, lyrical, and acro (acrobatics?), she said that 'ballet is boring' and didn't mention any other styles like ballroom. I'd assume the first two dances I linked were jazz, going to see if lyrical looks any better.

OP posts:

daisychain01 · 05/08/2013 18:27

Sorry but the only word I can think of is Vile! I watched about 5 seconds of it and closed the YouTube. I can only compare it to the reaction I get when I see "Future Pornstar" T-shirts.

YANBU at all to be concerned by that type of dancing !!

Ballroom dancing, Scottish/Irish, tap dancing etc - there are so many genre's to choose from that don't sexualise girls of her age - all that hip-wriggling is too precocious and disturbing.

nannynewo · 05/08/2013 18:29

I clicked on the top link and that sort of dancing is disgusting IMO. I used to attend a dance class aged around 12-14 (I am now 20) and it was a freestyle dance class but I hated it in the end and only stuck at it as they forced us into buying the uniform and felt bad that my mum had spent the money on it! It was not like this during the classes because we were all covered up etc... but the competitive ones would be in skimpy little outfits certainly not appropriate for their age, getting manicures ALL the time and fake tans! The worst part was how bitchy the girls were towards the ones who did not compete. Even the coach HATED anyone that wouldn't compete but most families simply could not afford it. The costumes alone were about £400 then there is the travelling to the competitions, eating out, hotels etc... list is endless. They were very discriminating towards us. My family was not poor at all but could not afford this and we were made to feel worthless and as though we shouldn't be there. Mum saw it for herself in the end and pulled me out. I joined guides instead, much more interesting and a nicer bunch of girls in general :)

IneedAyoniNickname · 05/08/2013 18:36

Its certainly not like the Jazz I did, in fact I don't think I ever learned that style in the 19 years I danced!
Lyrical is beautiful when done well. It can move me to tears!

Onesleeptillwembley · 05/08/2013 18:38

Only watched a bit of the first one - dear God. I think it's American, the home of pageants full of 4 year olds made up to look like 37 year olds that could recommend the best divorce lawyers in any city. Awful.

catgirl1976 · 05/08/2013 18:46

YANBU

But the classes near you may well be (and hopefully are) a million miles away from that

I agree those videos are inappropriate but check what your local classes are actually like first

Cheeseatmidnight · 05/08/2013 18:46

The awful thing is that these girls are so talented and there are some beautiful moves in there amongst all the gyrating. I wouldn't let my daughter do this.

Original poster

MumTo2x · 05/08/2013 18:47

nannynewo, what exactly do you do in guides? I was never in it while I was young, so I don't actually know..
I did look through some lyrical pieces, the costumes still seem skimpy though. I might ask DD what she thinks of tap, the girl in this dance would be the same age as DD, and to me the dance seems fine.

OP posts:

topbannana · 05/08/2013 18:51

Goodness
I have never attended a same class in my life so am probably not the best judge but the dancers all seemed very good.
WRT their costumes, definitely OTT but most of the moves are surely not hugely different to street dance? And I can see why girls want to dance like that when its what they see in pop videos and to them is the norm.
YANBU to not want your DD dancing like the girls in the videos but as a PP has said, surely they are American? And your DD will surely be a few years before she can dance like that, plenty of time to get bored with it and give up. IME if my DM forbade me to do something then it would only have made me more determined :o

GhostsInSnow · 05/08/2013 18:54

15yrd old DD was sat night to me for vid #1, her words 'Good God I wouldn't do that in a club at 18!'

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