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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is inappropriate?

90 replies

MumTo2x · 05/08/2013 17:55

Hi,
DD1 (9) came in to me today and told me she wanted to start dancing, and doing competitive dance. I decided to youtube exactly what competitive dance was, as I'd never really heard of dance competitions before, and these were the first 3 videos that came up.

To me, they seem extremely inappropriate, but AIBU? I read through some of the comments, and no one else really seems to think it's wrong, so is it just me being a bit old fashioned? This is the first time she's ever shown interest in a sport, so I don't want to stop her, but at the same time, it seems so wrong to me that people could let their kids dance like that..

OP posts:
SisterMonicaJoan · 05/08/2013 21:33

YANBU

Some of those moves are at worst, straight from at porn and at best, highly inappropriate. Some of the comments on the links, particularly the first video is disgusting. Would hate to think of someone looking at one of my DCs like that.

Yes, it is probably American but it will find it's way over here soon Sad

FarelyKnuts · 05/08/2013 21:48
Lyrical dancer, very talented 8yo. Focus is not on her costume or bumping and grinding.
ShabbyButNotChic · 05/08/2013 21:50

To be fair sistermonica the youtube comments are half 'omg they're amazing dancers' and half 'they are great but its a bit inappropriate' i dont see any disgusting comments?

CrabbyBigBottom · 05/08/2013 21:50

Godalmighty that is revolting. YANBU.

SisterMonicaJoan · 08/08/2013 17:12

Shabby Look on the comments on the first link:

"the green one, nuff said"

"pedobear wuz here"

"THIS is why little girls get rapped these days..."

"good enough to fuck"

"chika in the green..nuff said"

Yes, they are talented dancers no-one can disagree but look at what these girls are being exposed to and what sort of comments their young fans are reading.

SisterMonicaJoan · 08/08/2013 17:13

*Don't know where all the random #&123 came from but you can get the gist..

MrsDeVere · 08/08/2013 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDeVere · 08/08/2013 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mynameisslimshady · 08/08/2013 17:30

My dd does streetdance and she never dances like that. When she is on stage she is in t-shirt and leggings and has her hair all scraped back, same when she is doing exams. When she is on stage she wears stage make up, when she is in class and doing exams they don't tolerate make up at all. My experience of dance and competitions is nothing like that at all.

MrsDeVere · 08/08/2013 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anklebitersmum · 08/08/2013 18:00

Have you seen Sophia Lucia dance? Amazing.

I love the street dancing but I don't want to see 8yr olds pumping and grinding like they're on some seedy rap video.

So many different styles of dance though, I wouldn't say no until you've been and watched a lesson or three.

ShabbyButNotChic · 08/08/2013 18:03

Ah ok *sisterm

ShabbyButNotChic · 08/08/2013 18:05

Whoops! sistermonica i took the 'green, nuff said' to mean that she was the best one of the 3, shows how people interpret things differently i suppose.

I think i look at it from a dancer perspective so im nit shocked by it, i look at the moves and see it as a 'show' iyswim. But i appreciate people look at things in other ways.

GreenSkittles · 08/08/2013 18:51

I watched the second one when it was first posted a couple of years ago. I think someone posted to it on digitalspy forum which was my virtual hangout till I found you guys!

When the comments were open the content was disgusting. The one I remember was someone suggesting the kids go on tour, do their routines naked and leave out kleenex and binoculars for the audience... I remember him because we got into a nasty comments fight. I was defending the kids' talent and right of creative expression, but it really is inappropriate.

Little kids like copying popular culture. I know I used to mortify my Dad singing 'I Touch Myself' all the time when that was in the charts! But it's wrong to put them on display for people who may have bad intentions.

Ledkr · 08/08/2013 18:55

My dd does competitions as did my ds. I did them too yrs ago.
Ballet tap and modern dance is not inappropriate at all in fact the chins would be disqualified if they were too adult.
It dies take a few years for them to be at the level for competitions though.

Original poster
MumTo2x · 08/08/2013 19:56

Hi all,
sorry for a delayed response. Due to my husband's job, we will be moving to Arizona before the end of the summer, and so have been busy sorting out that.
I had planned to take DD to one of the classes in our area to see what it was like, but I figured I might as well wait until we are in Arizona to find her classes. I did speak to my DH about the videos, and we agreed that if DD's dances were anything like this, we'd certainly pull her out of class, but we will be enrolling her in classes once we are over there. Some people mentioned they were American dance videos, does anyone know if dance is typically like that in Arizona?

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 08/08/2013 20:32

Dd is six and doing her first freestyle dance comp in two weeks. I hate comps but don't want her to think I'm mean mum so were doing one she doesn't have to be registered for. She has shorts and t shirt for her street dance, a leotard for her fast solo and a ballet type dress for her slow solo. We have declined offers of costume loan from other mums. I know DD will hate the loud music and the endless hanging around and am sure we wont have to do this again! Agree with the poster further up,we are treated differently because we choose not too do comps. She does enjoy the fun classes she does and also does ballet and tap, maybe best you just avoid the comps.

Picturesinthefirelight · 08/08/2013 20:35

That group is notorious even amongst Americsn dance teacher web forums.

Rinoachicken · 08/08/2013 20:41

I danced for 20 years, jazz, tap, lyrical and ballet. It's nothin like that in the UK. And the costumes aren't either.

Instead of panicking yourself by looking on YouTube, I suggest you look online for dance schools near you. Use the words jazz and lyrical in your search, though they may call lyrical 'contemporary''.

If she wants to compete I strongly suggest you find a school that does exams. Preferably ISTD.

Even better, go to the ISTD (institute of dance teachers) website and find a registered school through them. The schools will follow a set syllabus.

I assure you it's NOTHING LIKE what you saw on there.

Ledkr · 08/08/2013 20:42

Pictures is it abbey lee miller?

Rinoachicken · 08/08/2013 20:44

Oh and the school will likely have a website showing pictures of their students in competition costume, which I'm sure will reassure you!!

Those kids were dancing hip hop, not jazz.

Justforlaughs · 08/08/2013 20:49

Programmes like Britains Got Talent have a lot to answer for! Sad

Rinoachicken · 08/08/2013 20:52

Sorry, it's imperial society of dance teachers.

Here's the link: www.istd.org/home/

Osmiornica · 08/08/2013 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NandH · 08/08/2013 21:01

I know ALOT of girls do this 'competition dancing' ... Personally I don't like it, however if my dd showed a lot of interest in it and was passionate about it I would grit my teeth and bend a bit! Although I wouldn't mend enough to allow her to wear those bloody outfits!!... I remember wanting to play rugby and my parents not allowing me to, I loved it! I'm still gutted now actually ha! :)

Your the parent and obviously what you say goes.
hope it's just a phase maybe? Grin

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