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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re School Transport

174 replies

KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 10:58

I honestly don't know if I am being unreasonable over this, please give me some perspective!

We live 1.9 miles from DS1's school and he has up until now been taking the school bus at a cost of £90 per annum. We live on a 60 mph country road with no pavements, absolutely no safe way to walk to school, there is no public transport at all.

We are really struggling financially at the moment and I phoned the school transport people today to appeal payment (we have 3 DC so will soon be £300 per annum). I was told that school transport is offered as a safe route to school and that is what we should use. I did say what if we absolutely cannot afford to get DS to school? Her response was to appeal but she has never known anyone get away with not paying in 4 years.

I could have taken him in the car but DH needs this for work, he has recently had his company car and fuel car taken off him due to cut backs.

To put into context we have had to move 400 miles away, rent out or own home at a loss, take on a massive rent (but the cheapest we could find) to allow DH to stay in a job. We have cut back to the bare bones of everything, I can't think of any other way that we can economise.

I can't work as DH works erratic hours often not home till after 9 pm and most weekends. We have no childcare as so far from friends and family. I am applying to do an induction course though into childminding.

The cut off to pay is 2 miles.

OP posts:
Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 13:14

inneed we don't have SKY, DH has a work mobile, I have a PAYG for emergencies, no landline. Your comment about asking for freebies has me in tears - I could never have imagined having to do this 6 months ago.

Our only luxury is a PAYG dongle for internet access, think this will be next to go as DH can check e-mails at work. I can cope with a bit more isolation.

sovery tax and insuring a car would be more than the bus fees I'm afraid, WRT childminding I have a pre-registration course next month, hopefully by Christmas I will be sorted Smile

OP posts:
soverylucky · 05/08/2013 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inneedofsomehelpplz · 05/08/2013 13:20

i didnt mean to reduce you to tears but we struggle withpaying but it never crossed my mind to appeal - rules are rules im afraid & it is through no fault of the school/bus company that you are struggling. does dh work weekends/nights? could you not stack shelves at night? pub work at weekends? this is what i have had todo & yes, all my wages go on bus fare but thats life.

soverylucky · 05/08/2013 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 05/08/2013 13:21

I think appealing, finding a safe walking route (which sounds as though it would be more than 2 miles) and asking for a risk assessment are all good ideas.

I don't think it's helpful to the OP to be told she's lucky it's only £90. She sounds as though she's living on the edge and has made all the cutbacks she can.

Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 13:21

Thanks again to those who have offered helpful suggestions, I have asked for this thread to be pulled as I don't want to be identified but also because I have got myself in such a state over how I fucked everything up for my DC - I had such high hopes and despite a lifetime of hard work and saving we are on our knees. I can't cope with people telling me how shameful it is to beg for welfare or how lucky I am to 'only' pay £90 per annum.

OP posts:
Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 13:23

inneed I've already said DH works every hour god sends hence hoping to work from home.

OP posts:
Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 13:25

Also inneed are you in the same situation? Would you have to walk/cycle a busy 60 mph road with no pavements and three under 5? Is it the closest school in your catchment? Are there no other transport options/friends passing/public bus?

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 05/08/2013 13:25

So sorry OP you've had to put up with some rubbish on here.

As it is so close to 2 miles, can you get the distance remeasured just in case?

I hope things start to turn around for you, and your childminding comes off.

Good luck.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 05/08/2013 13:26

So is there no school in the medium sized town in the other direction with public transport? Presumably that's not the one that's 25 miles away or you wouldn't be going to toddler group there.

Also, I would ask your DH to get shitty about his car. If he needs a car to go between sites in the normal course of his job then it's ridiculous that he doesnt get to keep a company car unless he originally got the job on the understanding that he had a car he could use for that. I was in a similar situation once, where I used to get the train to work but then I found out that the company needed me to go between sites every so often- basically my boss used to just let me use someone else's car for those trips.

Travelledtheworld · 05/08/2013 13:28

Good Luck. Am really sorry you have had some offensive comments on this post. I do appreciate the difficulties of living in a remote, rural area, suspect you are in the North of England.

I honestly would appeal to the LA, apply to school for hardship fund and also ask your Rural Community for advice on the availability of grants and trusts you can apply for. There are often small local trusts set up to help with children's education. We have one in our village in the SW which is administered by the Parish Council.

Contact your local County Councillor too and ask them for help putting pressure on the Local Authority to give your son a bus pass on safety grounds.

Take care and I am sure things will improve eventually.

teacherandguideleader · 05/08/2013 13:28

Have you thought of speaking to the school? they sometimes have a fund to help. I know my school recently bought a term train ticket for one student.

ilovesooty · 05/08/2013 13:30

Some of this is as nasty as the benefit bashing.

This is a family struggling with outgoings due to enforced change of circumstances.

Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 13:30

Richman its 15 miles away, I would rather the caravan than move DSs school for the third time since he started tbh, with regards to DH work he won't kick up a stink he is clinging on to his job due to cuts. If he did get paid off however we would be £5 a week better off - possibly the best thing that could happen to us at the moment.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 05/08/2013 13:32

Well, £90 is indeed cheap but if the OP is having to fork it out in a one off payment I can see why that causes a problem on a very tight budget.

It sounds very difficult OP and I wouldn't walk or cycle small children along our country roads up here either. Too many idiotic drivers taking chances on bends and blind crests etc. A lot of them seem to think country road = race track Hmm.

I hope you can negotiate an instalment plan - I feel for you. Keep pushing for that and good luck.

thegreylady · 05/08/2013 13:33

You are not unreasonable at all.Cycling would involve the 2 youger ones as well as the school child.Where would the money come from for a bike trailer or whatever? The school bus seems like the only safe route and I would follow jacks' suggestions if possible.The only other thing I can think of is some way of you earning a little money from home but I don't know what-sorry.YANBU.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 05/08/2013 13:34

Fair enough- I was thinking more 5 miles or so, and anyway, it's not like you can put them on the bus on their own I guess. Was just trying to think of ways round it, and you're right- it's not the ideal economic climate to be moaning about car cuts.

Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 13:35

Travelled and Sooty thank you both, a bit of empathy feels like a hug at the moment.

The school is well off, everyone on the outside seems to be also - I suspect though that a few of them might be having a hard time also. I would love to walk it would get us all out of the house and I'd get some conversation at the school gate. Its just one particular bad bend that really puts me off and the speed

I may speak to the head teacher, to be honest I've nothing left to lose may as well give up my dignity as well.

On the plus side I'm finally a size 10 Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 13:37

thegreylady maybe I should get a landline and try my hand at chat lines Wink

Sorry, just trying to get back to my usual, non self pitying self.

OP posts:
teacherandguideleader · 05/08/2013 13:38

Please speak to the head teacher and be honest about the situation. There may be things they can do to help, not just with the transport. It does depend on how 'caring' the school is, but I certainly know of some children who don't qualify for FSM but are given one anyway, or have shoes bought for them when theirs break and they can't afford to replace them.

muddymarvellousdarling · 05/08/2013 13:40

I hope you get it sorted op.

If you haven't got the £90, it might as well be a million.

Good luck with the childminding.

LondonMan · 05/08/2013 13:41

The various tax and benefit rules that govern our lives are not necessarily fair and reasonable. Your job is to live by the rules, the only time what is fair and reasonable should be a concern is when you vote for the politicians who make the rules.

What I'm saying is, anything you can legally do to reduce your taxes, increase your benefits, or in this case get cheaper public services, you should do. And I would say the same regardless of whether you were homeless and sleeping under a hedge or if you were a millionaire.

Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 13:42

Thank you teacher the school is absolutely lovely, as is the head. I'm not even embarrassed anymore I'm content with knowing we are doing as much as we possibly can to better the situation. I am just angry at myself if I had any idea this would happen I wouldn't have brought poor children up in it. But honestly they are so loved and really happy.

OP posts:
inneedofsomehelpplz · 05/08/2013 13:51

you said dh is in by 9 so you could get a night job stacking shelves. this is what i do, i work mon - thurs 10-4am. i live on 3/4 hours sleep but so does my dh. i sleep properly (when not feeding my baby) fri, sat & sunso surely you can do the same? yes, its hard but you can do it as i do - good luck xx

BringBackBod · 05/08/2013 13:52

Yanbu

There is actually a ruling that says if the route to your catchment area school is deemed too dangerous to walk, free transport should be provided.

We were paying £5 per week for ds2's school bus and had absolutely no problem with this. Then our local council decided to cut funding and it was going to cost £10 per week. This would have been a struggle for us and a lot of families, especially those with 2 or 3 children at the school.

We also had the same worries as you. The route to school was a dangerous one, an accident black spot.
Anyway, it was looked into, and deemed to be dangerous (one of the men from the council almost got knocked over checking this out).
Bus fares are now free.

I started a thread about this at the time and was similarly derided, but it was a worry to me at the time.

Hope you get something sorted.