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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re School Transport

174 replies

KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 10:58

I honestly don't know if I am being unreasonable over this, please give me some perspective!

We live 1.9 miles from DS1's school and he has up until now been taking the school bus at a cost of £90 per annum. We live on a 60 mph country road with no pavements, absolutely no safe way to walk to school, there is no public transport at all.

We are really struggling financially at the moment and I phoned the school transport people today to appeal payment (we have 3 DC so will soon be £300 per annum). I was told that school transport is offered as a safe route to school and that is what we should use. I did say what if we absolutely cannot afford to get DS to school? Her response was to appeal but she has never known anyone get away with not paying in 4 years.

I could have taken him in the car but DH needs this for work, he has recently had his company car and fuel car taken off him due to cut backs.

To put into context we have had to move 400 miles away, rent out or own home at a loss, take on a massive rent (but the cheapest we could find) to allow DH to stay in a job. We have cut back to the bare bones of everything, I can't think of any other way that we can economise.

I can't work as DH works erratic hours often not home till after 9 pm and most weekends. We have no childcare as so far from friends and family. I am applying to do an induction course though into childminding.

The cut off to pay is 2 miles.

OP posts:
jacks365 · 05/08/2013 11:20

The school bus may be safe transport but shouldn't count when free school passes are issued. The guidelines are over 2 miles by a safe walking route. Have you applied for a free travel pass? If you have ask for their safe walking route and then appeal it on those grounds. There was a similar issue for my parents local village primary rather than paying for all the travel costs the council got the road limit lowered.

PolterGoose · 05/08/2013 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feminine · 05/08/2013 11:21

I really think it depends on just how busy it is, and how op feels then.

For me, round here, it would be a no Grin but I prob take chances with other things...

Bowlersarm · 05/08/2013 11:23

I'm with feminine.

For those of you who walk along country lanes for 2 miles with a 60 mph speed limit, well they must be very wide roads, is all I can assume. Along our road you virtually have to drive along the hedge at some places, pedestrians would have no chance on the corners with idiots, sorry drivers, hitting 60/70.

Why jeopardise your child's life?

Cycling is slightly different, in that it wouldn't take so long and there would be protection of a helmet, depending on the age of the child.

Birdsgottafly · 05/08/2013 11:23

So those suggesting he walks, what happens once there is ice about again?

OP, all you can do is appeal and then offer to pay in installments. I know what it is like to be trying your best, yet face another problem, just when you thought you were back on track.

I live in the city, but spend all my time off camping, most people do not know how to drive on country roads and those that live there seem to forget that the roads are not always empty. I would not let my child walk in the dark along them.

Birdsgottafly · 05/08/2013 11:25

Does the OP's son have a bike?

Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 11:26

Neo its a country road so its not going to be busy - you don't live in the country do you? Its the main road into the city for 25 miles, when I say country I mean windying and surrounding by trees - not a quiet country lane. DS1 is 5.5 so not a confident cyclist. DC2 goes to school next year and DC3 the year after.

£90 or £9 it doesn't matter if you haven't got it, hopefully childminding will work out to give us some respite, just have to jump through the hoops of doing it from rented accommodation.

Its our closest school so we didn't choose to go there, the next one after that is 22 miles.

Taking DH to work for a 7am start means leaving the house at 5.45 am and picking him up at some ridiculous hour at night - also he needs transport to get from site to site. We can't afford the extra fuel either tbh.

We will have to manage to pay it, I am just more concerned that one more shit thing happens and we really, really cant Sad

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 05/08/2013 11:28

If theres ice?
well, you sit indoors wrapoed up in cotton wool of course! Hmm

ShatnersBassoon · 05/08/2013 11:29

Is there another family in the vicinity who drive to the school? Could you arrange a lift for your child and pay a token amount to the driver each week?

lborolass · 05/08/2013 11:31

I'm sure that some of you do cycle on 60mph roads but in no way does that mean that everyone else can and it a bit daft to just assume that everyone else can do the same.

My DCs route to school involves a road that even I wouldn't cycle on and I don't think I've ever seen anyone walking along it, you'd have to have a death wish to try as it has very tricky visibility and is used by HGVs. I'd defy any posters to say they'd be happy for their child to use it.

OP - I'd put in an appeal and hope, in an area near me a school bus was cancelled because the council said the route was walkable but after protests from the parents I think they were forced to reconsider.

Bowlersarm · 05/08/2013 11:34

Neo people are SO cosseted it's ridiculous

Hmmm, I would rather be ridiculous and safe in the knowledge that I won't be getting that police visit, than risking the most important things in my life.

Hope you manage to find the money, OP.

Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 11:38

Jacks that sounds helpful, thank you will try again when not feeling quite so pathetic Smile

I know I sound like an ungrateful, spoiled brat but I am just sick of fighting for every penny. I honestly am not sitting at home waiting on the answers to come to me, I have sold everything we possible can and you'd be amazed how exciting I can make beans and toast seem to the DC Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 11:39

Sadly 3 people died in 3 separate incidents on the same road (25 miles stretch) last month. They were all young men with so much to live for Sad

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 05/08/2013 11:40

I'm not sure how the childminding will work out. I wouldn't be keen on sending my kids to a childminder that wasn't able to leave the house at all.

Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 11:45

There is public transport in the other direction kinkyfuckery its towards a medium sized town so we go to toddler groups and get the shopping in well we did until two months ago when it all went tits up

OP posts:
SuperiorCat · 05/08/2013 12:02

Here (Northants) they provide a bus for secondary school children for the mile between two villages where the road is 60mph with no paths as it is not deemed a safe walking route.

Appealing is worth a try OP - good luck

fedupofnamechanging · 05/08/2013 12:15

OP, I know this isn't what you asked, but I think I would be inclined to move home with the kids and let dh rent a much smaller place for himself and have him come home at weekends, untilche could get another job closer to home.

If he was given a company car ad part of his employment and that has been removed, but is necessary to have a car as part of his work, I would tell the employer that the family car is no longer available and see if they can provide a pool car for during the day. If it was partcofchos t&c that a car was provided, then you shouldn't have to give up yours!

Failing that, how about temporarily homeschooling?

I would not allow my dc to walk or ride on that road - I would rather 'cosset' my dc than expose them to unnecessary risk.

I hope you can appeal on the safety aspect - it all sounds so miserable for you at present.

Jan49 · 05/08/2013 12:22

It sounds like you really need the school transport and would be better off looking for other ways to cut back on your outgoings, sorry.Sad

MissDuke · 05/08/2013 12:22

It sounds like your oh has a long commute to work. Are there definitely no cheaper rental properties? He is so far from work as it is, so there must be a large area to look around. It sounds like your expensive rent is part of your problem. I presume you could still move schools, since they are so young?

soverylucky · 05/08/2013 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caster8 · 05/08/2013 12:27

You could see if another parent would take your DS1 in. But as you couldnt pay them much, it is a bit of an ask, especially as you dont know anyone well.

You could ask the council, or see for yourself, it the 1.9 miles is accurate.

Unfortunately, living somewhat isolated as you do, and having 3 small children, it is an inconvenient, somewhat expensive, and ongoing cost. I know. Been there, dont that. Irked every time.

RobotHamster · 05/08/2013 12:29

You could work, surely Confused

As for all the people saying walk or cycle - OP has already said its not safe. There are some roads that just aren't.

Agree you should appeal. There isn't a safe walking route.

BrokenSunglasses · 05/08/2013 12:33

It's your responsibility to get your children to school, I have no idea why you think it should be paid for you.

You chose to live where you do, you have chosen to have three children, you have chosen everything else in your life that has lead to this minor expense of having a child. It's your responsibility to pay for the costs that your choices incur.

anklebitersmum · 05/08/2013 12:36

If there is no pavement then it's not a 'safe route'. I'd ask for details of the 'safe route' that they are using to calculate the mileage for walking and go from there.

Original poster
KrazyKurls · 05/08/2013 12:38

The only other child who passes our house to go to school goes on the bus.

fed up at the risk of completely outing myself we used to do exactly what you have suggested, lived seperatly and DH lived on a mates floor, however one of the DC suffers from a medical condition that has lead to a few blue light 999/resus trips it was awful when this happened and DH was a 3 hour drive away hence the reason for us all moving together.

I will find the money, its just the hopelessness of it all that is dragging me down a bit today, I'm normally one to shrug shoulders and get on with it.

Robot childcare would be the killer for me, it would be of no financial benefit at all to work - minimum wage wouldn't cover childcare hourly rate and public transport costs.

OP posts:
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