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AIBU?

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To have argued with a beggar (animal abuse content)

186 replies

MinnieMoose · 05/08/2013 09:07

Was I being unreasonable to have an argument with a street beggar?

We were on holiday to Rhodes and visited Rhodes old town one evening with the children.

I had read a campaign in our hotel lobby from a local animal welfare charity, that was informing tourists not to give money to beggars with puppies. As they are taken from their mothers too early and are drugged to keep them quiet, all to gain sympathy for money.

They work as gangs and once the puppies have served their purpose they are killed, they are given no water and left with the beggar in the heat for long periods of time - not to mention the drugs they are given to keep them sleepy.

I was distressed to read this and we encountered a street beggar almost immediately on our evening out.

She was only a young girl (13 at a guess) and had a tiny black pup, asleep next to her.

I couldn't help but feel outraged, should I have turned my head and walked on?

I asked her where the pup's mother was, where was it's water/milk/food? How come the pup was fast asleep and couldn't be roused?

She looked at me blankly, so I informed the tourists around us not to give her any money and suddenly she understands english and begins swearing at me and giving me hand gestures of the "fuck off" variety.

Well then I saw red and an argument followed with lots of swearing and shouting, I am ashamed of myself but as an animal lover I couldn't contain myself.

We informed a policeman and she ran with the poor puppy under her arm.

My husband had taken the children away from the situation before it became heated, but was annoyed with me for causing a scene.

So was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
FrigginRexManningDay · 05/08/2013 16:02

Unlucky I have worked with young people affected by abuse,sexual,physical,psychological and verbal. The child you talk of did not rationally become abusive. He had no rational thinking due to years of abuse,his thought and reasoning would be completely distorted. I am not saying what he did was right but had he not suffered abuse he would not have become an abuser.

unlucky83 · 05/08/2013 17:05

I am actually giving up trying to explain my point ....

But No I don't expect the child to commit suicide rather than beg with a puppy...
I don't think ANYONE should/feel they need to commit suicide to escape abuse - that situation should never happen...but it does ...

(Do know have a different view on suicide - having been severely depressed and suicidal...at one point it seemed like a lovely idea - instant escape from the black depression hell I was in - but it is a selfish thing to do - it hurts other people ...this is the reason I am still alive...)

Friggin...I know -it wasn't a rational choice ...
He did make a 'rational' choice to change the situation he was in -by turning on his mother ...
Then I do struggle to find an excuse/reason for why he then decided to abuse his brothers...
He was the least abused (apart from the eldest who left at 15) ...she really hated the younger two - products of marital rape etc..and he had the power - he didn't need to do it to keep his mother on side...
(Friend knows - she didn't hate him for being HIM and none of this was his fault ...)

unlucky83 · 05/08/2013 17:12

Arnie 123 -
I am really sorry for your experience ...
I hope your life is much better now...(and my posts didn't stir up old feelings Sad)
And you have had all the help you need to come to terms with and understand what happened ...

NotYoMomma · 05/08/2013 17:24
Shock
Platinumstart · 05/08/2013 17:27

theodora I have read the thread - and contributed from the beginning- so I'm not sure why you're suggesting I haven't Confused

woozle I do value human life over human life, I can't really explain why, other than to say a human life just appears so much more significant to me. I know that I would put the life of a child that I have never met before the life of, for example my horse, that I love dearly. I realise this is an entirely unsatisfactory answer in a debate but there it is

Caster8 · 05/08/2013 18:16

unlucky83. Sorry to hear of your personal past troubles.
But with respect, you know basically nothing of that particular girl of 13 in a country you know nothing about.
In those circumstances, it is sometimes wiser to not say anything at all.

Arnie123 · 05/08/2013 18:20

Unlucky I have had psychotherapy and am currently in counselling at the moment. Your post did not upset me at all. However even a 16 year old abuse victim does not have freedom of thought as their entire psychological development has occurred in an abusive environment.

VivaLeBeaver · 05/08/2013 18:26

"Of course I realise her plight but she has a voice and could gain help to better her situation."

I'm no expert on the economical situation over there but I believe its dire.

I've read about "middle class" families having to put their kids into orphanages as they can't afford to feed them.

When families are faced with that level of austerity what do you suggest a 13yo girl does to better her situation?

I hope your kids are never so desperate for food OP.

ubik · 05/08/2013 21:54

This thread is completely bonkers!

You are talking about a little girl. She is doing what she can to survive. You have no idea what other abuse she is dealing with in her life. Her future is not certain.

I find it fuckingunbelievable that folk on here are blaming a child for being on the streets, for doing what she can to survive (even if that means handing money over to her 'minders' who may also have other activities lined up for her to make money)

Am actually really Angry at the attitudes expressed on here - all because of a sodding puppy.

Whothefuckfarted · 05/08/2013 22:00

If you had come across a woman with a young baby who was drugged to stay quiet all day then I'd say YANBU.

That happens you know. Exact same scenario except substitute the girl for a woman and the puppy with a baby drugged up on heroin.

ProudAS · 05/08/2013 22:33

Give the OP a break. There may be more going on here than animal cruelty but that's what she had been warned to look out for and probably had her hecklers up before she even saw the beggar.

I share the view that a human life is more valuable than a dog's but this does not excuse animal cruelty.

Thirdly, whilst it is possible that the girl must beg to survive I can't help but be dubious. When my DF was travelling round Europe he saw a very forlorn looking young boy with crutches begging at the side of the road. At the end of the day his parents came in a flashy expensive car to collect him and he jumped up and ran over to meet them.

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