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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to have a cost-price pay bar at my wedding for booze I have bought.

92 replies

broodzillathehun · 04/08/2013 22:39

Name changed as I had this conversation today with a friend who is on here (Hi Kate!) but am a long time mnetter, naice ham, pom bears, yoni etc..

We are getting married next year in London and have found a lovely blank canvas venue for the reception that ticks almost every box . We're Irish and lots of our guests will be too, so flying over just for the event and expecting a proper piss up that goes on about 2am. The venue does not have a bar.

I will be providing wine with the meal and and proseco or similar for a toast.

Budget is smallish and I can't afford to run a free bar for all those people all night. The venue charge a flat rate of £200 to bring in your own booze so my options are hire in a mobile bar so the drinks are supplied by someone else and they charge London prices OR buy the booze cheaply ourselves and have the venue's staff run a pay bar but at cost price , so you might pay £1.50 for a g and t for example.

I have a slightly icky feeling about charging my guests directly for anything. Would I be unreasonable to do this?

OP posts:
RobotHamster · 04/08/2013 22:41

I've never been to a wedding where all drinks were paid for - bottles at the table yes,but there's always a pay bar.

RedlipsAndSlippers · 04/08/2013 22:42

Sounds ok to me, as long as everyone knows the deal before the day so they can bring some cash. Still much more reasonable than the £4 I recently paid for a lemonade at a hotel wedding!
Good luck Smile

ENormaSnob · 04/08/2013 22:43

A pay bar doesn't bother me at all. Unless its at poncy hotel prices that require a second mortgage for a large red.

I would feel pretty mean charging for booze I had bought though tbh, like a village hall type thing. Especially as guests are flying over to attend.

primallass · 04/08/2013 22:43

Would the venue allow your guests to do BYOB and you pay the £200 charge? That would make it cheaper for them.

primallass · 04/08/2013 22:43

Would the venue allow your guests to do BYOB and you pay the £200 charge? That would make it cheaper for them.

WhoNickedMyName · 04/08/2013 22:44

I've never been to a wedding where it's a free bar and I would always expect to pay for drinks.

complexnumber · 04/08/2013 22:45

Relax! No problem at all.

ENormaSnob · 04/08/2013 22:46

That's a great idea primallass.

tunnocksteacake · 04/08/2013 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh · 04/08/2013 22:46

I think it's absolutely fine, it's not as though you're doing it to make a profit.

And believe me £1.50 for a g&t are the kinds of prices that will make Irish people whoop with delight, that's practically free compared to the bar prices at home. Most people certainly won't be expecting a free bar so this will be a nice surprise for them.

ICanSeeTheSeaFromHere · 04/08/2013 22:46

A friend of ours did something like this. She contacted a local football team (sunday players!) and they ran the bar on a sale or return basis. It was cheap but took out the issue of the guest's 'paying her'.

TheDoctrineOfAllan · 04/08/2013 22:48

Sounds fine to me. If you made any "profit" you could donate it to charity if that helped?

Thepursuitofhappiness · 04/08/2013 22:52

We charged a pound a drink at my marquee wedding. We did it so it kept drinking from being ridiculous and cut down on people leaving half finished drinks around instead of finishing them. No one seemed offended, everyone loved what a cheap day it was.

Zavi · 04/08/2013 22:53

Your Irish guests will have had to pay out a load of money not just to get to your wedding venue, but to pay for accommodation too!

Couldn't you set out a free bar until a certain hour and then have an "at-cost" bar?

Don't forget - your wedding would be nothing without guests so be hospitable and treat them well in true Irish fashion!!

Xihha · 04/08/2013 22:53

Sounds fair but you may want to check with the venue as I have a feeling there may be issues with selling alcohol because of licensing.

alternatively could you suggest they chip in beforehand to buy the alcohol?

sameoldIggi · 04/08/2013 23:03

If issues selling alcohol, can you do the raffle ticket thing I've seen at some school events? (You are actually paying for the raffle tickets, oh, and you get a free drink with it) Wink

Original poster
broodzillathehun · 04/08/2013 23:05

If I could run a free bar I would but I don't have the funds. We are spending most of the budget on food, alcohol and music so it isn't like I'm dropping thousands on live doves and making my guests pay for booze but we have two kids and a mortgage so just can't justify a lavish do.

OP posts:
BrokenSunglasses · 04/08/2013 23:06

I don't mind a pay bar at a wedding, but I do think drinks with the meal and a toasting glass are reasonably expected.

If you're thinking about asking guests to pay for drinks you have already bought, you'd probably be better of just buying the basic amount yourselves and asking them to bring their own bottles.

Beamur · 04/08/2013 23:07

You can get a personal events licence for a bar - costs about £20, to sell alcohol yourself - it's what PTA's use. Look at the website for the local authority the venue is in, if the venue doesn't have a licence that allows you to sell alcohol.

McNewPants2013 · 04/08/2013 23:08

Would you need a licence to sell alcohol.

It wouldn't bother me buying my own drinks at a wedding, never been to one with a free bar.

gillyweed · 04/08/2013 23:09

I am in exactly the same situation, even down to the Irish inlaws!

We are providing as much booze as possible, about a 5th of our budget is going on this and will equate to minimum 5 drinks each - after that we've asked people to byob. I detailed the nearest off licence to our venues on the map/invite and we will gently remind everyone again after the ceremony. We've also let anyone know they can drop stuff off at the venue the night before as we decorate.

This has brought a whole barrel of problems from how to keep drinks cold to how to let people know they don't have to share (if they don't want to!) but we've sorted most of that, and either way the venue has no licence so that was just another set of problems!

Nobody seems offended, the feedback we've had so far is people are thankful not to be paying crazy hotel prices. Its not conventional but neither are we! I don't think we will run out but we have n emergency credit card and all-night-booze-delivery number if needs be!

McNewPants2013 · 04/08/2013 23:14

Tesco ATM has loads of offers on alcohol.

Like 2 for £16 on boxes of larger and cider. 1/3 off wine and many buy 3 get 1 free.

Keeping drink cold, buy one if those fast set pools, fill it with ice

Xihha · 04/08/2013 23:15

Have just double checked this, anyone who plans to sell alcohol on a temporary basis must apply for a Temporary Event Notice details can be found here

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 04/08/2013 23:17

Do you or the venue not need a license to sell alcohol.

I would never expect a free bar at a wedding. I don't agree with making any profit out of your guests. They aren't there to fund your wedding. Cost price would be fine.

Xihha · 04/08/2013 23:22

Oh unless the venue has a premise licence, then you need a personal licence holder to authorise it