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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to have a cost-price pay bar at my wedding for booze I have bought.

92 replies

broodzillathehun · 04/08/2013 22:39

Name changed as I had this conversation today with a friend who is on here (Hi Kate!) but am a long time mnetter, naice ham, pom bears, yoni etc..

We are getting married next year in London and have found a lovely blank canvas venue for the reception that ticks almost every box . We're Irish and lots of our guests will be too, so flying over just for the event and expecting a proper piss up that goes on about 2am. The venue does not have a bar.

I will be providing wine with the meal and and proseco or similar for a toast.

Budget is smallish and I can't afford to run a free bar for all those people all night. The venue charge a flat rate of £200 to bring in your own booze so my options are hire in a mobile bar so the drinks are supplied by someone else and they charge London prices OR buy the booze cheaply ourselves and have the venue's staff run a pay bar but at cost price , so you might pay £1.50 for a g and t for example.

I have a slightly icky feeling about charging my guests directly for anything. Would I be unreasonable to do this?

OP posts:
whois · 05/08/2013 08:38

Cost price bar is much better than BYOB which is cheap, lazy and a pain in the neck for guests and gives weddings the feel of a uni house party hunting around for you last warm beer which someone drunk has inevitably taken.

Cost price bar where you've bought the booze would be good as long as you have cold drinks and the right amount. I think it would be really worth finding someone who has run a bar for events and seeing how much/what kind of booze would be needed. Also need to think about fridges, glasses, cash handling.

Can't believe how many people are saying you've never been to a wedding with a free bar! The ones I've been to have either been totally free bar, or a couple of cases of wine to kick start the reception and pay (at a reAsonably priced location) after that.

Pigsmummy · 05/08/2013 08:47

We did similar, wine and beer were free during the day then from 7pm a charge for drinks, to make it easy we just set £3 a pint regardless of what and £2 for wine or spirit, not too much fumbling around for change. we had to pay staff to serve, I had shopped around and got great prices on wine and a local pub let us buy barrels of beer for cost, we charge more than the nett cost price but we didn't see it as making profit as we were already paying for everything else and the guests were happy to pay these prices as they were lower than local venues.

RabbitFromAHat · 05/08/2013 08:49

An Irish wedding would NEVER have a free bar, unless the hosts were multimillionaires or otherwise proving some kind of mad point, so don't worry OP, your Irish guests will be more than happy with some wine at dinner and a pay bar afterwards.

froggiebabies · 05/08/2013 08:50

I'm Irish and have been to a lot of weddings. Never encountered a free bar.

I would much rather a cost price bar than bring your own. I couldn't drink wine all night and don't drink beer so a bar with some choice is preferable.

RabbitFromAHat · 05/08/2013 08:51

Kegs should be manageable OP, ask the venue's advice on this. You will definitely need to cater for the huge proportion of people who will be beer drinkers. Getting some kind of weird English beer that's unavailable in Ireland might be a nice gesture too. Smile

TheDoctrineOfAllan · 05/08/2013 08:56

OP would have to pay the £200 if she got the mobile bar, I think?

Pigsmummy · 05/08/2013 08:58

Does the venue have a bar set up? Then you can add beer and gas? Or if not you will need to hire coolers, gas and buy barrels of beer. You can clamp a tap to a table, with gas and cooler underneath. Do you have anyone that has experience in the pub trade? Or a local friendly landlord?

Guiness on draught was my biggest worry as husband has large irish family but got that sorted and was a bit annoyed to find that the Irish guests were drinking lager and wine! Local breweries will sell kegs of draught real ale, if you don't have any trade contacts try something like

keghireuk.com/ or
www.beerhire.co.uk/beer-hire-prices/guiness-keg-and-surger-unit-rental.htm

TheDoctrineOfAllan · 05/08/2013 08:58

The trouble with BYOB is that no-one will bring any coke for the vodka etc!

Laquila · 05/08/2013 09:01

I've been to weddings with free bars and weddings with hotel bars (and prices to match) but never a BYOB one. To be honest I could see the latter might be asking for trouble a bit, logistically.

We had a back-garden marquee wedding and bought the booze ourselves, and Le a couple of moneyboxes on the bar, asking for donations, which avoided having to get a licence. I'm embarrassed to say I honestly can't remember whether we donated it to charity or kept it to cover costs!! Either way, we didn't spend much on booze as a lot of it came from Costco, some was on sale or return on local supermarket and some cam Erin barrels from local brewery at a good price.

Whatever you choose, I honestly don't think guests will be in the slightest bit offended at being asked to pay relatively low-prices for drinks. Have a great wedding!

sweetiepie1979 · 05/08/2013 09:02

I had after bar at my wedding it was really imPortabt to me that the guests didn't have to fork out for food and drink. Particularly i they had to travel to venue and buy a dress etc. We bought barrels of beer and boxes of wine. And the usual spirits. We had the reception in a marquee in the garden and did all the food ourselves too it was busy but worth it. I saved money on things like the dress, I borrowed a wedding dress and did own hair and make up. Husband and best man just wire their own suits we didn't go for the whole costume thing. Asking your guests to pay cost price I think a bit cheeky to be honest. What about an honesty box? You mail find that people will be honest they are after all friends and family . Ive been to a wedding with an honesty box for booze. As tables we all put in about £30 and I know the bride and groom got their money back and then some. That would be a nicer way of doing it I think and people would appreciate that.

youarewinning · 05/08/2013 09:12

I'm use to pay bars at weddings - wine/water on table provided but then after the sit down meal bit theres a party/disco and bar if you want a drink.

My cousins wedding they had it in a huge field/garden with marquee and a 'bar'. The bar was also a marquee type place and they provided some of the basics and told guests to feel free bring a bottle and stock it up 'if they wanted anything else'.

So most people bought a bottle of spirit - £10-20 per bottle and drank from the 'free bar' all night.

Sounds like a cheeky idea but it was great and sooooooo much cheaper than hotel prices.

bulletwithbutterflywings · 05/08/2013 09:20

I think its a brilliant idea, I've never been to wedding with a free bar. The B&G are already paying for food, wine, entertainment etc and anyone that expects more is very greedy IMO.

OTheHugeManatee · 05/08/2013 09:25

I must be in a minority, as I've yet to go to a wedding where there was a pay bar. Our guest list was dictated partly by how many people we could afford to host. I would invite fewer guests rather than make them buy their own drinks.

Each to their own though. If you really can't afford to host the drinks tell te guests to bring a bottle, as someone suggested.

sweetiepie1979 · 05/08/2013 09:29

OT is right!

ComposHat · 05/08/2013 09:45

ive been to a wedding where the booze was provided via a booze cruise. However thete was nothing to cool thr wine or lager. so warm white wine and lager (bottled) made tbe evening a vit of a damp squib.

ComposHat · 05/08/2013 09:48

sorry.... the point I'm trying yo make is. the wgole business of doing the booze yourself is fine, but could be a logistical nightmare sorting out freezers, ice buckets and licences etc.

sameoldIggi · 05/08/2013 10:07

I would rather have more guests at my wedding than feel I had to fund the drinking of a few. I think the free wine with meal/pay after that scenario is very common these days.

ComposHat · 05/08/2013 10:27

yes free bar would ve taken as a challenge by most of the people at our wedding. a free bar in Scotland would be like offering Eric Pickles free pies all night.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 05/08/2013 10:30

I went to a wedding which had this, it was great. I think they had an agreement with Asda to return unused booze for a refund too.
They o ly had cans of beer but if you had glasses they could be turned into pints!

squoosh · 05/08/2013 10:31

Irish people will not be expecting a free bar, Irish weddings go on for hours longer that British weddings, free bars just aren't a tradition.

Your guests will be thrilled with your DIY bar.

cacamilis · 05/08/2013 10:36

Glastocat, you comment re irish people and free bar equaling a disaster, is small minded regardless of whether or not you are irish too.Sad Talk about stigmatising people.

allmycats · 05/08/2013 10:39

There is no problem with a pay bar. Listen again, NO problem with a pay bar. You provide whatever drink you can at cost and if there is something that some one wants that is not available then tough.
Why on earth do people expect free drinks these days at a wedding. You have a reception line drink, a bottle of wine etc atthe table and a toast drink. That is surely more than enough for the bride/groom to provide.
There are some really greedy feckers around these days !!

Chunderella · 05/08/2013 10:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glastocat · 05/08/2013 13:22

Oh rubbish cacamilis, you can't deny a large amount of Irish people are fond of a drink. It's a stereotype because its true.

thegreylady · 05/08/2013 13:26

You only need provide for toasts and meal.Maybe have water available freely but otherwise a cheap pay bar would be a bonus.

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