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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think in the real world it's become openly acceptable to vilify and abuse benefit claimants?

141 replies

Pantone363 · 04/08/2013 19:46

Years ago people might of gossiped about people on benefits, or moaned to their partners etc. but there wasn't this acceptable open hostility towards them.

In the space of a week I've heard people openly call them "breeders" (ie single mothers), it seems ok to expect any benefit claimant to explain themselves to anyone who feels they are funding their lifestyle (taxpayers).

It really seems the tide is turning towards an open contempt for anyone claiming benefits whilst not working.

I can't think of any other group of people it's ok to shame and gossip about in public!

So AIBU?

OP posts:
grumpyoldbat · 04/08/2013 20:22

Caters =carers obviously Blush

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 04/08/2013 20:24

Oh I'm a breeder ?

Yeah I agree thing is most people claim benefits, child benefit, their pension ...

thenightsky · 04/08/2013 20:25

YANBU.

We've been softened up for this over the last couple of years. The press have slowing and insidiously been pushing the idea that anyone on benefits is a scrounger. The gov have let the press do this and probably even actively encouraged it, so nobody will object when they cut benefits to the bone and leave the vulnerable exposed. Sad

WetAugust · 04/08/2013 20:26

What a very simplistic view Morethsnpotatoprints asking 'Why is irresponsible not to work?'. As well as the domestic responsibilities you stated you also have responsibilities to society. Just as someone who has kids and works has responsibilities too.

If everyone decided they wouldn't work because they wanted to spend more time with their children how would the country function?

morethanpotatoprints · 04/08/2013 20:31

It functioned all right throughout my childhood. None of my friends had both parents working. You were considered very bad parents if you weren't there for your kids.
It is a parents right to care for their children, its the only form of child care that is free ffs.
My children come before the rest of society, don't everybodies?

dreamingofsun · 04/08/2013 20:37

but some people think that their children = their responsibility. they then object to providing for their own children by working really and hard, and covering the cost of other people's as well - especially if the earning couple isn't that wealthy.

in our parents time you didn't need 2 wages as the cost of housing was so low. times have changed.

my children come first and i hope i have taught them a strong work ethic and provided for them well financially.

i particularly object to paying for people to bring up older children as that seems more of a lifestyle choice than a necessity - so i'm pleased they have changed the rules

TabithaStephens · 04/08/2013 20:39

Morethanpotatoprints, if your husband earns enough to allow you to be a SOAM, more power to you.

farrowandbawl · 04/08/2013 20:40

Ah, I thought we haven't had a benefit bashing thread for a couple of days.

As you were...

AlbertaCampion · 04/08/2013 20:41

YABU - but only because I think the stigma has always been there. My dad was out of work in the 1980s and couldn't get another job, but refused to claim benefits because he saw it as so shameful.

Not that I'm endorsing his view, mind: the years spent living off the pittance my mum earned as a shop worker / running up awful household debts are years that I would rather forget.

I think the attitude to claiming benefits has changed since then - the mass take-up of tax credits has seen to that - but the attitudes towards benefit claimants are as stinky as they ever were. The poster who suggested that the Internet & forums etc. had simply made these attitudes more visible was spot on IMO.

dirtyface · 04/08/2013 20:45

yes and its horrible

i was a single mum a few years ago as were some of my friends and it was no biggie at the time. no one judged us, it was what it was. we all had our reasons.

the govt / media are pitting the poor against eachother and we are all falling for it

dreamingofsun · 04/08/2013 21:01

dirty - i haven't read anything on this particular thread thats negative towards single mums. everyone realises that anyone can become a single parent and that it may be due to things totally outside their control.

what people object to, is that some people seem to think they should be exempt from work despite being perfectly fit (any work, and even for relatively short periods of time) and other people fund their lifestyles.

xylem8 · 04/08/2013 21:03

Did you watcgh the Nick and Margaret programme? Every single one of the claimants featured was a lazy fecker?

dirtyface · 04/08/2013 21:04

ok fair enough dreamingof

i meant that society in general seems to now see single mums as scroungers etc rather than on mumsnet. on the whole mn is not like that at all

TheFallenNinja · 04/08/2013 21:05

Other groups that get gossiped about

Bankers
Politicians
Traffic wardens
CEO's
Search engines
Coffee shop chains
Vivisection labs
Council busybodies
Oil companies
Gas companies
The very rich
The very poor
The very opinionated

The list goes on

dirtyface · 04/08/2013 21:13

ok fair enough dreamingof

i meant that society in general seems to now see single mums as scroungers etc rather than on mumsnet. on the whole mn is not like that at all from what i have seen.

chunkymonkeysausage · 04/08/2013 21:13

The other day I was in Aldi and there were all these toffs (I knew they were toffs because they were all wearing Conservative party blue rosettes and talking about clotted cream) and there was this goat walking down the aisles with her young and these evil toffs were screaming abuse at the goat, calling it a benefit scrounger, layabout, bone idle and then they started throwing some of the Aldi speciality range foie gras at it. The poor goat had to be protected by security and she was furiously munching on some of the Aldi cheap lettuce to ease her humiliation. Apparently they want to turn our local Aldi into a workhouse for goats. It's disgusting. I will be writing a strongly worded letter to David Miliband to see if he can get them arrested.

dirtyface · 04/08/2013 21:14

ooops sorry for some reason didnt think my last but one post had posted Blush

LuisSuarezTeeth · 04/08/2013 21:16

This is precisely what the government wants. Get the hard up tax payers blaming benefits claimants to detract attention from the dismal economy where one wage is generally not enough to support even a one child family.

Inflated house prices
Inflated rents
Lack of social housing (and demonising of same)
Static wages/ increased inflation
Utilities bills increases
Food price increases

So lets target the benefits scroungers.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 04/08/2013 21:19

And I agree there are some lazy feckers out there who don't want to work.

But just as we should not judge a person for their colour, religion, etc, people in receipt of benefits/credits/allowances should not be looked down upon for that reason.

cooeeyonlyme · 04/08/2013 21:29

I was on benefits until my youngest went to school. I cared for my elderly nan and my partner was always getting laid off work.
So i know what it's like to live on benefits.

But i also know that some people take the micky out of the benefit system and those people need to be stopped.

I'll give you one example. A friend of mine is currently trying for her 7th child. All by 5 dads. Don't get me wrong she is a brilliant parent but what kind of example is she setting to her daughters?
She hasn't worked a day in her life, neither has her mother or her sister and they don't intend to. They even have selling pages on facebook for hair clips and baby hats and the odd hamper that they do up themselves.

More needs to be done to help these women, whether is be training or whatever. I know what it's like and i can tell you it's no picnic having to sign on.

PresidentServalan · 04/08/2013 21:34

It's irresponsible for people not to work if they are able to and expect the government to support them - apart from pensioners. the term breeders is used it to describe people who have lots of children without being able to support them. The reason why people feel able to express anger towards people like that is that they are perceived to be taking the piss.

morethanpotatoprints · 04/08/2013 21:45

some people seem to think they should be exempt from work despite being perfectly fit (any work, and even for relatively short periods of time) and other people fund their lifestyles

Yes, the Politicians thought this. Prime Ministers have agreed on this matter. People have taken the money offered, and it seems that now the rich have lost their Tax Credits and cb they vilify others who accept theirs. Its very hypocritical tbh, unless all those who spout about it refused their cb, of course.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 04/08/2013 21:47

And the squeezed middle turn on the working poor, the working poor turn on the unemployed and the squeezed middle, the unemployed turn on the working poor, the squeezed middle, the long-term-sick-leave-but-not-really-ill, the genuinely disabled who "could have a little job", the legal immigrants, the illegal immigrants, SAHMs, single mums, mums with kids with different fathers, the list goes on...

Those at the top hate everyone, yet noone turns on them.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 04/08/2013 21:48

Oo I missed pensioners, dont forget the pensioners!

gordyslovesheep · 04/08/2013 21:49

I am a 'breeder' in the 'squeezed middle' who am I supposed to turn on ...