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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to wear black to a wedding?

102 replies

Cookingmonster · 03/08/2013 22:58

I mean, I don't really know the couple, my husband is goodffriends with the groom, I''ve met him a handful of times and her only once. I'm usually against wearing black to a wedding but it's the only dress I have that goes with the fascinator, jewellery and shoes. It would mean not buying another dress!
So, tell me AIBU?

OP posts:
MardyBra · 04/08/2013 09:02

I'd say no.

Whothefuckfarted · 04/08/2013 09:05

What's wrong with red???

eurochick · 04/08/2013 09:08

I think it's fine. Both my mum and MIL wore predominantly black to our wedding (we all get on well, they were not making a point) and they looked great. Much better than some of the pastel monstrosities I have seen for mothers of the bride and groom.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 04/08/2013 09:14

Sil decreed no green to be worn at her wedding, clash with Tiffany Blue theme.

My sister wore green, I wore non tiffany blue, we both clashed frightfully. Ha ha!

NB sil dreadful bridezilla, awful. Dont get me started.

Anyway.

  1. OP what colour shoes fascinator etc

  2. wtf is wrong with red to a wedding?

GlaikitFizzog · 04/08/2013 09:20

I think anything goes nowadays. Black used to just be for mourning in days gone by. But not so much now, I tend to wear colours to funerals now (usually by request)

I had a winter wedding, my sister 3 aunties, numerous friends all had black in their outfits.

DHs kilt was black and gold, with black shirt, black jacket and waistcoat, socks and shoes. X that by 5 for the rest of the male bridal party.

catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 09:22

Sorry, I'm going to say YABU and black is not ok at a wedding.

ethelb · 04/08/2013 09:22

A) what is wrong with red? B) dont men wear black suits to weddings ALL THE TIME?

Dackyduddles · 04/08/2013 09:28

I agree. Black not good. Navy or chocolate. To me it's drab dreary hints at hidden message "it will never last" and shows zero lack of effort. It screams I couldn't be arsed to dress properly or I refuse to to your wedding. Ill just wear this old thing I already own.

A colour even if owned for donkeys never quite looks as if you have.

Dackyduddles · 04/08/2013 09:28

Navy or chocolate fine that should have said!

MadeOfStarDust · 04/08/2013 09:29

my stepmother wore red to my wedding.... a lovely woman, but does like to be centre of attention...

EVERYONE else in pastels and muted blues and greens, she stood out like a sore thumb - so I made sure I got plenty of pics without her....

Black would be similar I guess...

catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 09:29

Red is a bit racy for a wedding. Although I don't think many people would mind these days

I really wouldn't wear black to a wedding, but if you are going to then lots of colourful accessories are the way forward. Otherwise it's just way too sombre

DumSpiroSpero · 04/08/2013 09:36

I wore black and red to my best friend's wedding - shoot me now although it didn't bother her in the slightest!

I think providing you accessories are a different colour, it's fine.

beepoff · 04/08/2013 09:51

I think it is pretty common these days, to the extent that one winter wedding I went to stipulated no black dresses.

beepoff · 04/08/2013 09:53

Also just to add, very VERY few people look their best in black. And it goes with very VERY few colours so in fact you might look better in another colour anyway.

GlaikitFizzog · 04/08/2013 09:59

What colours don't go with black?

I am being genuine, I really don't see a problem. But then I don't get traditions!

HollyBerryBush · 04/08/2013 10:04

People have no concept of etiquette any more.

Wear black if you feel you must - the bride will probably be strapless anyway.

thebody · 04/08/2013 10:06

never thought about not wearing red but could see its a bit ott. defiantly not black or white though.

Original poster
Cookingmonster · 04/08/2013 10:50

Damn! Now I'm conflicted!

The fascinator is a variety of colours of which black, red and green would look the best with it. Shoes are black but I am willing to buy a new pair. I thought if I got a cream pair to go with the black outfit..
I think I can't go with black now, just in case it is taken the wrong way...

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 04/08/2013 10:53

I wouldn't be comfortable wearing black or white/cream. I would worry that people were spending the day disapproving and whispering behind their hymn books.

I would rather just wear something else non controversial. Would just be easier.

Salmotrutta · 04/08/2013 12:40

I wouldn't wear a completely black dress/separates. Just doesn't look right at a wedding.

Maybe a black patterned dress or whatever but solid black (even with coloured accessories) used to be considered a no-no. Probably because of the funeral connotations.

I think red is considered unlucky at a wedding ?Confused

Salmotrutta · 04/08/2013 12:42

And yes, white/cream also used to be frowned on as it was considered to be "upstaging" the bride.

Mrsrobertduvall · 04/08/2013 13:02

So ridiculous.
I wore black to 2 weddings.....The sky didn't cave in.

EllaFitzgerald · 04/08/2013 14:29

YANBU. Clearly I have no respect for etiquette, but I think it's rather rude to be imposing dress codes or judging the colour choices of guests that have probably already spent a fortune just to attend.

boysarelikedogs Good for you!

NuggetofPurestGreen · 04/08/2013 14:45

I don't think I've ever not worn black to a wedding, either all black (including shoes fascinator and cardi) or black skirt with black and different colour top. Never even thought about it being an issue to be honest. It's my favourite colour and I do think people can look their best in it contrary to what another poster said.

So YANBU.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 04/08/2013 14:46

Never heard of the red thing either. Knew about not wearing a white dress though!!