To not have much sympathy for people with minor ailments?

[Stillhopingstillhere]

My aunt has recently had a cataract removed. I saw her today and she went on in great detail about the operation and then kept on and on and on about how she has to have six lots of drops for two weeks and she'd have to remember to put them in and it was inconvenient and she would be an expert at doing it etc etc. then she kept looking at the clock and going on about how long it was until the next lot of drops and how the consultant says she's got to go back for a check up etc ( she's not elderly by the way, in early 50s) and the sighing very melodramatically.

A friend had been diagnosed with a slight under active thyroid and has to take one tablet a day. Have had chapter and verse on this. Including one conversation when he dramatically announced he might be on the tablets for ages! They have since said he can stop taking the tablets as the imbalance is so mild it might just be normal for him.

Mil has had to have a short dose of steroid tablets which have left her feeling very tired, have heard all about this. How she has to take the tablets out with her, how she hasn't been able to have a drink, how she has to remember to put them in her handbag. And then she always takes the tablet in front of everyone followed by another conversation about the side affects they might cause.

I do have sympathy to a degree. However I am type 1 diabetic and so each time someone moans about taking a tablet once a day for a month I want to say "how about I will swap?" One tablet a day or drops for a couple of weeks sounds a whole lot easier than blood tests and injections for the rest of my life. And I do know it isn't a competition. And I appreciate that whilst diabetes isn't great it could be worse, it's manageable and I'm not in pain or anything. So I never ever mention it irl, in fact I have some reasonably close friends who aren't even aware I have the condition.

So why do people create such drama over such minor things? I don't mind hearing once, maybe twice but over and over?

Aibu?

Yanbu, this annoys me too

YABU I don't witter but others do. That might be the biggest thing in their life at the moment. As you say it's all relative it's not a competition.

If it bothers you change the subject don't sit and listen while not thinking nice thoughts about the person you are listening to.

the thing is for you having diabetes has become part of your life, whereas to them their short term but inconvenient illness is a big deal for them. Your post almost screams of "but i am worse" which I am sure isn't your intention.

YabateensybitU. Experience is relative isn't it? Maybe this is the first medical experience they've had that's had some sort of impact on their day to day lives. It's not really comparable at all to your experience.

Although health drama-lamas are a drain so you do have my sympathies, they have a tendency to be like that about every little upheaval in life. I think you're meant to eleveneriffe (teneriffe - one-up-manship) and get into a martyr battle with them.

Can't be arsed myself so change the subject as quickly as possible

No it really isn't.
It just irritates me. I think it's the melodrama.

I have very limited patience with such people these days. YANBU.

I meaning completely understand how my condition has no affect on how they feel about their illness or issue. I really do.
But then the (maybe slightly unreasonable?) part of me thinks "shut up and stop moaning!"

Okay. So they're a bit overworried and you're lacking compassion. All things equal, I don't think they're being unreasonable. You seem to have a bit of a chip on your shoulder - sort of like "well, you've only got this, I've got THIS, and I just get on with it." Just because they're not insulin dependent doesn't mean they don't have valid health concerns.

Yes, expat, I can't imagine how galling it would be for you.

Yabu. They are just having a moan. Your diabetes is your chance to moan. My dh has been type 1 diabetic since 8 months old, he has accepted it, However the amount of winging over a common cold is unreal.

As you said you feel fine so your sugar levels are under control etc. I bet you would have a winge if you felt poorly.

Me personally, I don't winge I'd rather go to bed and sleep it off if I am I'll. But I will moan to any visitors in the hope that they will loom after my two toddlers so I can do that. Hasn't happened yet.

I think it's more that they don't seem worried...more enjoying the drama. Perhaps I am wrong.
I have a friend who is really almost phobic of needles, she had to go for a blood test and was extremely anxious. I completely understand that, I have sympathy of course I do. It must be horrid.

But a tablet. A tablet? Not so much.

Would losing weight cure your diabetes? I don't know much about it.

Well I only weigh 8 stone so I wouldn't have thought so!

I have an underactive thyroid. I was hospitalised for 6 months with it, and it's taken 6 years to normalise me. To others, one my hair grew back and I was able to talk without slurring again, I seemed ok, but I surely was not. Furthermore, it's hereditary: it impacted on my ability to conceive, and it impacted on both my kids in my womb and after birth. On top of that, people with autoimmune thryoid disease are at a much higher risk of other autoimmune disorders, including diabetes, rheumatoid arthritus, Sjorgens, Addisons, and much more. I now have 2 other autoimmune disorders. But I still look ok.

All the way through my pre-diagnosis of thyroid, people were "oh, it's just a bit of PND". Once diagnosed, people were "Oh, it's just your thyroid". Actually, I was about a week away from coma. It's a very serious, lilfelong condition, that seriously fucks you up. I'll take medication for the rest of my life, because if I don't, i'll die. That's where the term "cretin" comes from: unmedicated thyroid patients. It's not pretty. It's pretty much the same as diabetes, to be honest. If I'm over or under medicated, I can go crazy or pass out and crash. And once you have diabetes / or thryoid diesease, you're at high risk of contracting the other, as both are hormone autoimmune disorders. My mum, and I, have both. So i'd maybe be a little less dismissive of your friend, and be aware that it's extremely unusual to have a temporary thyroid problem unless it's post-partum. It is more likely to be either misdiagnosis or a symptom of a further problem.

That said, I am fine, working, two kids. I get on with it. No sympathy from my 5 and 6 year old! But it can be hard to fight your corner and get the medication you need if it's not a well resourced disease. I was told by my endocrinologist that diabetes gets tons of cash, thyroid none. I, and he, foght for 5 years for me to get the breakthrough medication I needed. It's not always simple. And thyroid, like diabetes, is a lifelong endocrine disorder. Just ask the people at the ward next time you go.

Type 1 DM is shit. I sometimes get annoyed with such whingers too.

I think, though, that type 1 and the necessary evils that accompany it become so integral to your life that people forget what you go through on a regular basis.

To them, these things are major and they are lucky that they don't have to suffer with T1. However, if they ever were unfortunate enough to get it, perhaps they would develop the ability needed to take it all in their stride. I guess before T1 I was a bit of a drama queen about medical things, now I'm hard as you like about needles etc!!

YABU .. it's just people getting used to a new or temporary condition, normal to have a bit of a whinge (as long as it doesn't go on for months). I'd consider an eye op to be a big thing! I have an underactive thyroid and take a pill a day. No, it's not a big deal, but when I was first diagnosed I probably did tell a lot of friends. It's a lifelong condition and needs to be regularly monitored. Of course in the scheme of things, minor ailments are not very important, but ..health is important and people spend a lot of time talking about stuff much less important than that!

I have a chronic illness that is very debilitating and has left me bedbound for 2 years of my life now. It has absolutely turned everything I once knew upside down and as a result I can completely see where you are coming from- it is irritating when someone who is ill but is likely to be better and recover quickly (with something like the flu, for instance) moans about it.
But I do actually think YABU because all situations are relative and to them feeling ill or suffering from any health predicament, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem to others, is probably annoying, painful and difficult. I frequently get told things like 'it could be worse', and of course it could and I'm so glad it isn't, but it doesn't make my situation any easier to cope with by knowing that if that makes sense?

However I do agree that some people just like to create drama for no reason and that does irk me a lot.

A good stock answer is "well, you're coping really well" then change the subject.

A bit like telling kids they're brave when they graze a knee you're enforcing a positive.

I understand how you feel.
My DS is disabled and used to use a wheelchair.
Whilst I was pushing him along I bumped into my Mothers friend who had just had surgery on her foot.

She complained to me for twenty minutes or so about how debilitating it was and how she couldn't do anything and felt useless and could barely walk!

All the while never thinking that my son could hear every word and would be disabled for life, not just the 6 weeks that her foot would take to heal!

I think YANBU and at the suggestion that you should lose weight.

YABU.

Only because you are not showing empathy. I have a BLOOD TEST this week, in the grand scheme of invasive things that can happen it's so minor as not to be acknowledged, but my arm is sore, my bruise is huge, I feel a little sorry for myself (but hopefully don't go on about it).

I have a twisted spine. I was born with it, it's mine, I own it and I deal with it without much thought, it creates difficulties and issues, it stops me doing things I'd like to do, it stops me looking straight, sometimes it makes me cry.

I made more of a fuss over a blood test than ever I would about something more 'difficult'.

My friend is shit when she has a cold. She's beat cancer twice without a moan.

It's all relative and mixed in with that is also the fact that many people keep quieter about the really scary shit, the stuff that a hug and an awwww can't solve.

For otherwise healthy people, a cataract op is actually WEIRD and traumatic, the eye is sensitive. It may not be serious, it may even be a good thing but it's still unusual, and can make a person feel a little vulnerable.

For some things, the fact that you have to take a tablet EVERY DAY feels like failure. In itself it's no big deal, open wide, swallow, swill... but actually, I get the angst. I was never dependant on any pharmaceuticals until about 2 years ago, now I have to take something every day, it feels like failure, like defeat... I love history and often I am aware that if my particular drug didn't exist I'd be dead, homeless, exiled, no use... in my case, thank fuck for drugs... but it was a huge culture shock to actually HAVE to take a drug just to be.

YABU.

Very thoughtless blueballoon, I'm not sure I'd have been able to stop myself from saying something!

Xmas Baby: Did you really just feel ok once you popped the pill? Before I was diagnosed, I lost ALL my hair, all my body hair, was slurring, unable to remember yesterday and my skin was peeling off in swathes. They left it late to diagnose, but nonetheless, I have found that a lot of GPs just say "oh, pop a pill" for it, and that isn't always the case. I ended up having to take 350 mg of T4, and 25 mg of T3 to be well. And by that I mean, able to walk and talk. I have to have a blood test every month. Hence, it really annoys me when people say it's "just" a thyroid prob. I'm not a drama queen, I've had two kids and worked through it all, but I WAS very ill, and I could be again. I don't like the implication in the OP that thyroid disorders are nowt, they're not, and it's exactly that attitude that leads to a lot of misdiagnosis,undertreatment and suffering. That's why there are a good few thyroid pressure groups.

I think the suggestion you should lose weight is twatty and rude. And I think people should have more sensitivity than to complain to you about this stuff, TBH.

However, I don't think they are BU to complain per se. You've got to remember than many illnesses start off as trivial. There is a whole generation (or more) who got taught that you don't 'bother' the doctor with something minor. And they're dying because of it. There are actually adverts reminding people to go the the doctor because it is so bad - and all because of this attitude of not complaining about trivial things.

My granny didn't complain about a little trivial headachea and a bit of hearing loss. By the time they found her massive brain tumour, it was too late.

The only thing that annoys me is if they exaggerate the illness.

Saying "I have a migraine" when they have a headache. I get migraine and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. If they had an actual migraine they wouldn't be standing happily chatting in the street!