To not understand why 'no pain relief' in childbirth is a source of pride?

[bronya]

I accept that some people hurt more than others when giving birth, but surely, it's not clever to go without pain relief if you need it? If you want it and can't get it, I feel for you. If you choose one variety over another, that is your choice. Equally, if your body simply doesn't hurt enough to need it, then aren't you lucky!

How is the whole screaming in agony for hours on end, a GOOD thing? I just don't see it. Pain relief is available, why not have it?????

I can't believe I posted on this thread above - threads of this ilk are such a wind up!!

Everyone is different - there you go!

I had a birth with no pain relief. After I felt a sort of primal understanding of how millions of women before gave birth naturally. It made me proud. I was also up and moving about immediately after and felt wonderfully clear headed.

It wasn't by choice. I was begging for epidural. But the midwives were busy and wouldn't check how far dilated I was. There said I couldn't possibly be far gone because I was too happy looking sitting up in bed. When they finally, after much persuasion checked, they were shocked. I stumbled upstairs to delivery suite, lay on bed and pushed. Then all he'll broke loose cos ds got stuck but that's another story. Midwives apologised to me after.

My previous two births involved epidurals and gas. If, and I'm not, I was going for a fourth, I would have try and have no pain relief again because the recovery time was so short.

I broke my wrist quite badly a couple of years ago, I refused any pain relief then, just as I did when I was in labour, in both instances I had to fight to refuse as I had medical professions virtually forcing drugs on me.

It's a personal choice, I never take any medication of any kind, no matter what the situation, that is down to personal choice and beliefs.

So yes I guess I am proud of the fact that I had a natural birth and stuck to my beliefs.

But I would never judge anyone for using pain relief, I don't feel better than anyone who used drugs.

Also, midwives said I must have a high pain threshold, which on reflection, I probably do. So that might be a reason why some can manage it and some can't.

fishandmonkey - I disagree. It is fine for us not to agree about this. However, I do believe that whilst we have our own emotions it is perfectly possible for other people to cause others to feel bad, sad, upset, distressed...and at the other end of the scale, happy, excited, etc. I know that is I have to tell off my child I will cause them to feel sad. I know that if I give my child some good news I cause her to feel happy. Our emotions are generally triggered by outside influences.

I don't think I could judge anyone for wanting pain relief or not wanting it during labour. It's such a personal experience, all labours are incomparable.

Though I can totally understand people feeling proud they managed without pain relief. I think that's kind of missing the bigger thing they achieved that day. Which is having made a human being.

It is a total shame that women don't seem to be proud they managed to handle a EMCS , because that is as big of an achievement as a vaginal birth without pain relief. Or what about managing to keep composed during a forceps delivery? Or what about having every drug under the sun and still being able to push out a baby?

They're all bloody amazing things to have managed to get through, so why the hell don't women get bragging rights for anything but a natural pain relief free birth?

I was told I have a high pain threshold as I didn't have any pain relief for over an hour in advanced labour while the Doctors poked about, repeatedly took blood samples from DS and decided that I needed a section.

Not true.

I couldn't breathe in the gas properly, too late for pethidine and I didn't want an epidural because I would rather be screaming in pain than have a tube inserted in my spine.

"... no one is MAKING you feel guilty if you have pain relief. those are your own emotions and you are responsible for them."..."

Eer, I for one am not feeling guilty, dear, just mightily irritated by blabbering eejits who pen brain-dead comments like the one above.

I don't like pain, not at all. Pain relief is a medical wonder for which one is most grateful for.
I wouldn't have a root-canal without pain relief, why on earth would I go through hours of pain during childbirth?

I find it a bit mad, really.

So not guilty, no.

Quite the opposite, proud for making the right (and only) decision for me which allowed me to enjoy every second of the birth of my children without even a twinge of pain marring the experience.

Well maybe its my view that is warped then! maybe some women do sleep through labour (although surely your not sleeping through the pushing bit?).

I am not personally insulted as I had no pain relief myself (not through any hard work/ preparation on my behalf - just lucky to have a relatively quick and uncomplicated delivery) but my experience of people having epidurals is after induction which then led to instrumental delivery and a don't think that anyone can call that an easy option! And I do think it is insulting to those women to insinuate that they took the easy option and that they didn't 'work as hard'.

"I wouldn't have a root-canal without pain relief, why on earth would I go through hours of pain during childbirth?"

There are reasons to avoid pain relief when giving birth that aren't a concern during your average root canal.

I am very glad that we have the choices we do and the ability to make the right choice for ourselves, I have no regrets about having the pain relief I did in labour but the decision was not the same as deciding about pain relief for any other surgery/treatment.

Doesn't it hark back to the age old human belief that being able to withstand pain & 'battle on' makes you a stronger/fitter (Darwin fit not physically fit or phwoar) human & more likely to ensure the survival of you & your own kind.

The ability to withstand pain is often something to be celebrated in cultures hence so many initiation/coming of age ceremonies involving something painful- ie fighting, cutting.

I had some lovely drugs when I have birth. I was induced so before I was in active labour I had some pethadine. Helped my forewaters to break. Then I had lovely gas and air when that wore off. Now that's good stuff. My DD is here and happy she doesn't care and neither do I. You do it the best way you can,

"You have just made me feel really, really bad about the labour I had 14 years ago. I'm actually shocked at how bad your post has made me feel."

Sorry you feel bad. I also feel bad about my dd being exposed to these things in my first labour (which was in a hospital and involved pethidine, epidural and a forceps birth). Bad, but not guilty. Of course we feel sad about our newborns not having the best start in life. We wouldn't be good mothers if we didn't care. But at the time I didn't feel I had any choices as to how my birth was managed. Same as you. By the time I had my second baby I had wised up and chose a different birth environment and pattern of care so that it was less likely to happen again.

My first child was premature. He came too fast for me to be given any drugs. I chose a home birth with my second baby as I wanted to experience a calm labour and delivery. I requested an epidural and any other drugs in the arsenal with my third cold. I was 42 and tired.
I felt lucky and blessed to get a healthy baby at the end.

Obviously, should have read " with my third CHILD " as I doubt I could have received an epidural for a cold..

"How is the whole screaming in agony for hours on end, a GOOD thing?"

I had my first baby at home without any pain relief. I wasn't screaming in agony at all. Yes, it hurt but there was definitely no screaming.

rowtunda I was awake for the pushing bit but couldn't feel the contractions - the midwife had to tell me when to push

"Well maybe its my view that is warped then! maybe some women do sleep through labour"

They do. It's very common for the midwife to have to wake the mother up to push, at which point they often turn the epidural down.

Remember that these days most epidurals contain fentanyl, which is a stonkingly strong opioid. It's used in small amounts (unlike pethidine) because it works locally, but what there is still leaks out into the mothers system eventually. Women are going to be a bit sleepier with an epidural in place.

"Though I can totally understand people feeling proud they managed without pain relief. I think that's kind of missing the bigger thing they achieved that day. Which is having made a human being."

Yes - because women who come out feeling amazing after birth because they feel they were brave and strong have obviously forgotten about their baby and are just solely focused on themselves.

ted or highly medicated often have a

Great post, *Chunderella.

fully agree, chunderella, and I mentioned exhaustion myself earlier. in some cases pain relief is a much wiser choice when you know you will be just too exhausted to push. probably a less risky choice than getting to the pushing stage and being almost passed out.

I couldn't have given birth without pain relief. Dd was c section as she was in an odd position and just wasn't able to be birthed naturally. Without pain relief for the c section I suspect I would have died on the operating table - probably though the trauma and stress.