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AIBU?

I'm injured, husband wants to play golf

58 replies

Petal02 · 01/08/2013 15:00

I had an accident yesterday. Went to A&E, thankfully no broken bones, just badly sprained ankle. Foot is very stiff and swollen, I can only put a small amount of weight on it, meaning I can only just hobble around the house. The only way to do stairs is on my bum.

So AIBU to be annoyed that my husband has decided to play golf with his son this evening? I could really do with some help at home, and I'm still feeling pretty grotty.

OP posts:

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StuartG · 01/08/2013 16:00

YABU unless you have children that require supervision, it's a sprained ankle, not gunshot wounds.

LisaMed · 01/08/2013 16:03

It's the back story that's the kicker, isn't it. Wouldn't it be nice to come first for once? You have my sympathies. Hope you feel better soon.

Dackyduddles · 01/08/2013 16:05

Dunno about unreasonable but a bit wimpy / pathetic yes. It's one ankle. You have another and two hands yes? Use a golf brolly as a crutch if necessary. Agree very inconvenient but tbh it's not that bad.

teenagetantrums · 01/08/2013 16:06

could you not get a friend to come and keep you company?seems a but needy to me

Sirzy · 01/08/2013 16:06

If you have no children then YABU. There is no reason you can't look after yourself with a sprain - yes some things may e harder and take longer but you just have to adapt.

pigsDOfly · 01/08/2013 16:15

Agree with LisaMed, it's the not coming first that's the killer.

Having been married for many years to a totally selfish man (now exh) who pursued his various hobbies several times a week regardless of what was happening to me or the children I learned to manage by myself.

A few weeks ago I fell down the stairs and sprained my ankle, and you know what? I coped. Many people have to if they live alone.

One day by yourself: chocolate, wine, a good book and tv. Nothing wrong with that.

GobblersKnob · 01/08/2013 16:15

You have my sympathies, I sprained my ankle four months ago and it is still painful now. I have had three months of physio and will probably need three more. It was excruciating in the first few days after doing it.

However, the next day I was back at uni and spent much of the day on my feet and up and down stairs, albeit on one foot hopping.

So, yabu, to need babysitting sorry.

However you are not at all unreasonable to feel extremely sorry for yourself.

ilovesooty · 01/08/2013 16:18

Perhaps my response is influenced by having to cope alone at home after a hip replacement, a broken ankle, a sprained ankle and now elbow surgery. I'm inclined to think that expecting someone to change their plans because you've been alone for less than a day is unreasonable.

Petal02 · 01/08/2013 16:19

I think that's just it - I'm feeling sorry for myself. It really shook me up yesterday. Apologies, and thank you for taking the time to respond.

Am now going to watch a DVD Box set, and do some on-line shopping. Using DH's credit card :)

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 01/08/2013 16:21

Have fun...somehow when you're laid up spending money is very tempting!

wishingchair · 01/08/2013 16:25

YABU. I broke my ankle (and subsequently sprained it - both v.f.painful!!!) but managed to survive when my dh was out all day at work. Get yourself on the sofa, leg elevated, wine, remote, takeaway, book and relax.

And yes the drink thing is the worst. Make yourself a drink but then can't move it so you end up having to drink it by the kettle. I had to hobble around with an over the shoulder bag containing phone, remote control etc as I'd sit down, realise the phone was at the other side of the room and want to weep.

Longdistance · 01/08/2013 16:26

Petal, I broke my leg and had surgery on it back in April. I had two metal plates fitted with 19 screws. I am currently under physio with a really stiff stubborn ankle as broke both my tib and fib.

We have dd's aged 2 and nearly 4, and have very long days on my own from 6.30am to 6pm, and then like tonight h has wafted in like a fart, and gone out rugby training. Monday night it's cricket.

If I can do that, I'm sure you can put your feet up and rest. You don't need him there.

wishingchair · 01/08/2013 16:27

And I agree - YA-definitely-NBU to feel sorry for yourself. It is so bloody frustrating and until it happens, you really don't realise how limiting it is. Enjoy blitzing his credit card

Petal02 · 01/08/2013 16:30

Monsoon have a very interesting on-line sale ...... Just going to take a peep.

OP posts:

Twiceover · 01/08/2013 16:33

I don't think yabu. It would be nice if he offered to stay home and keep you company. Hope you feel better soon.

wishingchair · 01/08/2013 16:34

House of Fraser too ...

thebody · 01/08/2013 16:39

spend away, spread that pain to him//😆😆

Loshad · 01/08/2013 16:43

Hot drinks tip Petal - make pot of preferred beverage, pour into thermos, put thermos in rucksack, bum shuffle, hop or whatever to comfy location, ta dah, nice hot unspilt drink.

BigBoobiedBertha · 01/08/2013 16:45

I'm not sure if YABU or not? It depends.

How often does DH go out with his DS? If it is a long standing arrangement and he doesn't see his DS often, YABU
How did you sprain your ankle? I understand that it hurts and you are immobile but you do seem shaken up so the circumstances of the accident are relevant (not that you have to share). If you escaped death by inches and you got a sprained ankle it would leave you feeling more vulnerable than if you missed the bottom step of the stairs for example.
Will your DH help you when he is in and is he generally understanding? I suspect this would affect you more if he hasn't shown any concern or offered to do anything.
What is it your expect your DH to do? If it is to be at your beck and call then I don't blame him for going out. On the other hand, if you only need him every now and then then why not set yourself up with everything you need and he could go out anyway.

Personally when I am hurt or ill, I am like a wounded animal and like to take myself off and be alone so I do think YABU but we all deal with things differently and we don't have the bigger picture so maybe your aren't.

Helpful, aren't I?!

Hope your ankle heals soon.

Petal02 · 01/08/2013 16:45

Thanks for the flask tip, will definitely try that!

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Petal02 · 01/08/2013 16:51

I'm actually feeling a bit better now, and DH has just rung to ask if I'd prefer it if he didn't go to golf. I've told him I'm ok, and he said he's only playing 9 holes, so it won't take him long.

So the world is a happy place (apart from my damn foot!). He gets his golf, i get to shop. The art of compromise methinks .......

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whois · 01/08/2013 17:35

Sprains are really fucking bad!

Still you're a little U to want him to stay home. Make sure he gets you drinks and snacks before he goes out. Coffee or tea in a thermos is good.

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BigBoobiedBertha · 01/08/2013 17:38

It is nice he offered and is cutting short his round - it is better to feel you have a choice in the matter and that he would be there for you if needs be. It is indeed a happy compromise. [wmile]

Enjoy your shopping.

Hercy · 01/08/2013 17:39

Do you have a thermos? Fill it up then put it in a bag hooked over your crutches and away you go.

Hercy · 01/08/2013 17:40

I see the thermos tip has been covered!

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