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AIBU?

I'm injured, husband wants to play golf

58 replies

Petal02 · 01/08/2013 15:00

I had an accident yesterday. Went to A&E, thankfully no broken bones, just badly sprained ankle. Foot is very stiff and swollen, I can only put a small amount of weight on it, meaning I can only just hobble around the house. The only way to do stairs is on my bum.

So AIBU to be annoyed that my husband has decided to play golf with his son this evening? I could really do with some help at home, and I'm still feeling pretty grotty.

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EvaM · 02/08/2013 09:37

It's only a sprain, you're not 4.

Put feet up, relax and keep putting ice packs on the sprain.

Mia4 · 02/08/2013 09:00

YANBU to feel upset-when we're in pain or poorly we get even more upset or narky. But YABU to be annoyed at him, presumably you wouldn't be if he had no choice but to work late? So is this a thing whereby you feel he never puts you first (selfish arse) and this is highlighting it or is he looking after you but taking a few hours for himself (normal person).

I know how shit i felt after a stomach op, I could barely walk a few steps without needing to stop, breath and les the pain pass. It was horrible and i was in tears of pain and frustration when my DP went to work.

fledtoscotland · 02/08/2013 08:57

Yabu. Make hot drink in a flask so you don't spill it. Bump down steps on your bum. Enjoy peace and your own company

Hulababy · 02/08/2013 08:52

Fwiw dd couldn't have managed getting around on her own at all in first couple of days or so. No pot and no crutches given but just meant he was unable to get about much. Tried school but it didn't work at all. Took a few initial days for pain to subside enough to try hobbling.

Hulababy · 02/08/2013 08:48

Ouch. Poor you an yea it would have been nice for him to stay and look after you for a bit. Everyone likes a bit of tlc at times!

And yes, a sprain can be very painful. When dd hurt her foot she was in a great deal of pain. The break was sore but the sprained toes were far far worse!

I never really understand the 'its only a sprain' argument - sometimes they are more painful than a break!

Chubbymomie2012 · 02/08/2013 08:18

I had a similar situation a few months ago and i was furious that my DP wouldnt cancel his plans to help/ look after me.

After spending the whole day alone!(well alone with 2 youngest kids) I realised i was actually pissed off that if the shoe was on the other foot. I'd be at home looking after im so he wouldnt have to lift a finger. he clearly doesnt have the same desire to"nurse" that i do.

sorry op not very helpful. hope you are feeling a little better this morning

Longdistance · 02/08/2013 08:05

Hey. I'm having physio, but it's not great. My ankle is so stiff and swollen ATM. I am probably 50% there wrt mobility now, but physio was very much saying I need to push it, which I am, but having two dd's so young during the day in my own, really doesn't give me much time to do it 5 times a day. Everytime I've gone to do it, my two end up fighting, an incident happens, my dd's want something. It's just never ending. So have to do it in the evenings.

Sorry to hijack your post op.

clam · 01/08/2013 18:08

LongDistance I think I posted on your thread just after you'd broken it, and were waiting for surgery. I think I was probably a little pessimistic for you. How are you doing?
(I had something similar - tib/fib and ankle - rods, pins and plates)

Hercy · 01/08/2013 17:40

I see the thermos tip has been covered!

Hercy · 01/08/2013 17:39

Do you have a thermos? Fill it up then put it in a bag hooked over your crutches and away you go.

BigBoobiedBertha · 01/08/2013 17:38

It is nice he offered and is cutting short his round - it is better to feel you have a choice in the matter and that he would be there for you if needs be. It is indeed a happy compromise. [wmile]

Enjoy your shopping.

whois · 01/08/2013 17:35

Sprains are really fucking bad!

Still you're a little U to want him to stay home. Make sure he gets you drinks and snacks before he goes out. Coffee or tea in a thermos is good.

Petal02 · 01/08/2013 16:51

I'm actually feeling a bit better now, and DH has just rung to ask if I'd prefer it if he didn't go to golf. I've told him I'm ok, and he said he's only playing 9 holes, so it won't take him long.

So the world is a happy place (apart from my damn foot!). He gets his golf, i get to shop. The art of compromise methinks .......

OP posts:

Petal02 · 01/08/2013 16:45

Thanks for the flask tip, will definitely try that!

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BigBoobiedBertha · 01/08/2013 16:45

I'm not sure if YABU or not? It depends.

How often does DH go out with his DS? If it is a long standing arrangement and he doesn't see his DS often, YABU
How did you sprain your ankle? I understand that it hurts and you are immobile but you do seem shaken up so the circumstances of the accident are relevant (not that you have to share). If you escaped death by inches and you got a sprained ankle it would leave you feeling more vulnerable than if you missed the bottom step of the stairs for example.
Will your DH help you when he is in and is he generally understanding? I suspect this would affect you more if he hasn't shown any concern or offered to do anything.
What is it your expect your DH to do? If it is to be at your beck and call then I don't blame him for going out. On the other hand, if you only need him every now and then then why not set yourself up with everything you need and he could go out anyway.

Personally when I am hurt or ill, I am like a wounded animal and like to take myself off and be alone so I do think YABU but we all deal with things differently and we don't have the bigger picture so maybe your aren't.

Helpful, aren't I?!

Hope your ankle heals soon.

Loshad · 01/08/2013 16:43

Hot drinks tip Petal - make pot of preferred beverage, pour into thermos, put thermos in rucksack, bum shuffle, hop or whatever to comfy location, ta dah, nice hot unspilt drink.

thebody · 01/08/2013 16:39

spend away, spread that pain to him//😆😆

wishingchair · 01/08/2013 16:34

House of Fraser too ...

Twiceover · 01/08/2013 16:33

I don't think yabu. It would be nice if he offered to stay home and keep you company. Hope you feel better soon.

Petal02 · 01/08/2013 16:30

Monsoon have a very interesting on-line sale ...... Just going to take a peep.

OP posts:

wishingchair · 01/08/2013 16:27

And I agree - YA-definitely-NBU to feel sorry for yourself. It is so bloody frustrating and until it happens, you really don't realise how limiting it is. Enjoy blitzing his credit card

Longdistance · 01/08/2013 16:26

Petal, I broke my leg and had surgery on it back in April. I had two metal plates fitted with 19 screws. I am currently under physio with a really stiff stubborn ankle as broke both my tib and fib.

We have dd's aged 2 and nearly 4, and have very long days on my own from 6.30am to 6pm, and then like tonight h has wafted in like a fart, and gone out rugby training. Monday night it's cricket.

If I can do that, I'm sure you can put your feet up and rest. You don't need him there.

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wishingchair · 01/08/2013 16:25

YABU. I broke my ankle (and subsequently sprained it - both v.f.painful!!!) but managed to survive when my dh was out all day at work. Get yourself on the sofa, leg elevated, wine, remote, takeaway, book and relax.

And yes the drink thing is the worst. Make yourself a drink but then can't move it so you end up having to drink it by the kettle. I had to hobble around with an over the shoulder bag containing phone, remote control etc as I'd sit down, realise the phone was at the other side of the room and want to weep.

ilovesooty · 01/08/2013 16:21

Have fun...somehow when you're laid up spending money is very tempting!

Petal02 · 01/08/2013 16:19

I think that's just it - I'm feeling sorry for myself. It really shook me up yesterday. Apologies, and thank you for taking the time to respond.

Am now going to watch a DVD Box set, and do some on-line shopping. Using DH's credit card :)

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