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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my Mother its 20 bloody 13!!

63 replies

GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 19:14

DS left home earlier this year, apparently (according to my Mother) it's still my job to make sure he's suitably attired for work. I pointed out he was a big boy and independent and it was up to him now. This apparently means I have no Maternal Instinct and I'm failing him. I did tell her that tbh I'd be more embarrassed about raising a child who wasn't as independent as my boy but her selective hearing ignores this.

She then went on to ask if I'd ironed a shirt he needed for tomorrow. I replied I hadn't, if he needed one he can iron. She asked if his GF had ironed it. Again I told her no, DS knows where the iron is and how to use it. My Mother then replied that "but he can't iron like a woman'.

So there you have it, I'm a bad Mother because I don't interfere in my boys life and men can't iron. I think my calendar must be wrong by a few decades...
Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 19:15

Failed to point out in the above DS is coming up for 21 and his GF 23.

OP posts:
Groovee · 31/07/2013 19:16

oh dear.

WorraLiberty · 31/07/2013 19:16

Even decades ago Mothers didn't molly coddle their sons once they left home.

And they left home a lot younger then.

YouTheCat · 31/07/2013 19:18

Okay - where is her time machine and can I have a go? She's obviously just teleported in from the 1950s. Grin

Original poster
GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 19:19

I think in her ideal I'd be going there and doing the cleaning as well. Can you imagine how offended his GF would be if I rocked up and took all his clothes to wash and iron.

I despair sometimes, I really do. Apparently 'men can't put creases in the sleeves'.

OP posts:
Original poster
GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 19:20

youthecat she is 77, I think she reached 1950 and just stopped. Much tongue biting has been done this evening I'll tell you.

OP posts:
MooseBeTimeForSpring · 31/07/2013 19:24

Sounds just like my late mother. "Don't expect your fathers blessing for the wedding if you live together before you get married.

So DP bought a house. And a cat. I had to stay there to look after it :)

Original poster
GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 19:26

hahaha moose. I love her dearly but she drives me nuts with her expectations of the 'perfect housewife and mother'. I very often want to shout 'ITS NOT FUCKING STEPFORD' but thus far I have bitten my tongue.

Anyway, DS has a bloody good iron! I know I bought it for him when he left Grin

OP posts:
burberryqueen · 31/07/2013 19:27

tell her that u need an iron to iron a shirt not a vagina....

YouTheCat · 31/07/2013 19:28

Oh no! I'd never iron my vagina. I think it would smart a bit. Grin

I don't own an iron. It was the one thing I left the ex.

StuntGirl · 31/07/2013 19:28

"youthecat she is 77, I think she reached 1950 and just stopped."

This made me Grin

ProudNeathGirl · 31/07/2013 19:30

You can't blame her - old habits die hard!!

Justforlaughs · 31/07/2013 19:31

My DH and DSs live here and if they want thier shirts ironed then they know where the iron is! No chnace would I be doing it for them after they move out!

solveproblem · 31/07/2013 19:32

Hahaha!

When I had just had DS1 my MIL came around and hoovered. When she had finished she told me she had hoovered for me because I shouldn't have to do that when I had just had a baby.

I got really annoyed and muttered that DH can perfectly well work the hoover and if she was helping anyone by doing it she was helping him not me!

Parmarella · 31/07/2013 19:34

Nonsense, my mum s 77 and not a feminist, yet always expected my brothers to iron their own stuff.

Don't blame the 50s!

iliketea · 31/07/2013 19:35

Oh dear, perhaps I an failing dd. I ironed for the first time in a few years at the weekend (had a linen emergency) and dd 3.5 asked me what that funny board was and what i was doing to my clothes Blush. Am I setting her up in later life to be judged by a future MIL?

Original poster
GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 19:37

Parmarella, thats reassuring to hear. I think she's just eccentric. Weirdly my late Dad did national service so if a shirt was needed when I was a kid he did it because he could do military creases to perfection.

I do actually iron DH's work shirts, but only because I'm at home and he works 12 hour days. Should he need to he is more than capable of ironing his own. I'd be ashamed to have turned a kid out into the world though who couldn't at least iron a shirt, work a washing machine, hoover and cook a basic meal.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 31/07/2013 19:38

I think you and I share the same MIL.

AdoraBell · 31/07/2013 19:40

Sorry, Mother. I'd forgotten my mother was just the same.

Original poster
GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 19:44

My MIL is a lovely woman, I think she believes her only purpose in life is to serve. She's one of those people who never sits still when you visit, she has to be cooking you something or making tea.

I did have to have a chat when the kids were smaller because they'd sit on the sofa, feet up and shout "Naaaan can I have..." and she'd be up like a shot Hmm

DH had no clue when we got married. Not even sure he knew what a hoover was and he certainly didn't know how to work a washing machine. Took 2 years of perseverance but 20 years later he's independent.

I once taught him how to make gravy with cornflour and meat stock in case I died, though disappointingly he said in that case he'd just buy Bisto granules.

OP posts:
3boys3dogshelp · 31/07/2013 19:50

Your mother wouldn't approve of me, dh does almost all the ironing in this house, including mine! Apparently I'm too slow and clothes don't look any better when I've finished.

Original poster
GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 19:52

3boys now thats an interesting tactic Wink

OP posts:
WaitingForMe · 31/07/2013 19:55

I don't iron. MIL once laughed and said that'd change when I had kids. Bewildered I asked why. She was genuinely horrified that I blithely assumed when school uniforms needed ironing that DH would do it. It's been nice marrying him - I can buy clothes that need ironing now.

Creamtea1 · 31/07/2013 20:03

3boys - it's the same in my house - I don't do ironing, ever. DH irons his own shirts and I don't really have many clothes that need ironing, and if they do he does it along with his shirts. Kids have non iron school shirts that don't need ironing, trousers hung up to dry also non iron, job done.
He also does a lot of the cleaning...however ask him to go and fetch s

MrsKeithRichards · 31/07/2013 20:03

I would file for divorce if my dh for a job that required a shirt.