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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my Mother its 20 bloody 13!!

63 replies

GhostsInSnow · 31/07/2013 19:14

DS left home earlier this year, apparently (according to my Mother) it's still my job to make sure he's suitably attired for work. I pointed out he was a big boy and independent and it was up to him now. This apparently means I have no Maternal Instinct and I'm failing him. I did tell her that tbh I'd be more embarrassed about raising a child who wasn't as independent as my boy but her selective hearing ignores this.

She then went on to ask if I'd ironed a shirt he needed for tomorrow. I replied I hadn't, if he needed one he can iron. She asked if his GF had ironed it. Again I told her no, DS knows where the iron is and how to use it. My Mother then replied that "but he can't iron like a woman'.

So there you have it, I'm a bad Mother because I don't interfere in my boys life and men can't iron. I think my calendar must be wrong by a few decades...
Hmm

OP posts:
Creamtea1 · 31/07/2013 20:04

3boys - it's the same in my house - I don't do ironing, ever. DH irons his own shirts and I don't really have many clothes that need ironing, and if they do he does it along with his shirts. Kids have non iron school shirts that don't need ironing, trousers hung up to dry also non iron, job done.
He also does a lot of the cleaning...however ask him to go and fetch some clothes/pants/socks for our 8 yr old and he doesn't even know where to start..

MrsSchadenfreude · 31/07/2013 20:09

My mother told my cousin "I'm not surprised your husband left you if you wouldn't iron his shirts!"

FryOneFatManic · 31/07/2013 20:15

I haven't ironed any of DP's clothes for years, apart from the very occasional item to help him in a busy period. He is more than capable of ironing his own stuff.

DCs clothes are mostly non-iron, especially school stuff, and I only iron a few items for work now and again for myself.

DD and later DS will be taught to look after their own stuff.

Chrissy1982 · 31/07/2013 20:49

Of course you should be ironing his shirts for him, he is your son who you bought into this world. Brinigng a child into this world is the greatest gift that God can bestow upon us and is a lifetime responsibility. I regards it as a privelige to be allowed to iron my hisband's and my two sons' shirts and their underpants.

Wonderstuff · 31/07/2013 21:00

I'm rubbish at ironing. I reckon it's my mothers fault, she paid someone to do it for us. DH is much better at it than me.

breatheslowly · 31/07/2013 21:11

Do you have a brother or is her approach to sons reserved for your DS?

MissSmiley · 31/07/2013 21:15

Ironing? When my late father caught my husband ironing his own shirt he asked him "what's the point of having a dog and barking yourself?". He was born in 1929 and had never ironed a thing in his life but wore a shirt and tie every day. My three boys will all be capable of ironing, cooking cleaning and generally looking after themselves (and me!!) by the time I've finished with them.

Coffeenowplease · 31/07/2013 21:18

Personally Ive never even owned an iron. My mum thinks I am a disgrace. More so because I wear tights more than once before washing. Thats quite normal isnt it ?!

eurochick · 31/07/2013 21:19

Women like her are the reason so many men of the next generation are completely useless around the house.

RaspberryRuffle · 31/07/2013 22:05

My MIL came to stay and ironed some of DH's shirts, then said she had ironed 5 shirts for me. I looked at them with a puzzled face and said "oh, they're not mine". She thinks I'm a disgrace. I iron as little as possible.

And Coffee I don't wear tights more than once, I'm with your mum on that one I'm afraid.

AdoraBell · 31/07/2013 22:06

MissSmiley my late father once told me "you should be able to cook at home, if you can't your mother hasn't done a very good job"

This was because I'd eaten out on a Friday night. He stunned when I told him I can in fact cook, but I didn't feel like doing so that evening. I was a lippy 16 yr oldGrin

Coffeenowplease · 31/07/2013 22:07

Really ? Even if I dont wear them all day ? I usually change once im home into something more comfortable. And I wash. I probably wouldnt do it when I have my period though obviously.

YouTheCat · 31/07/2013 22:09

My ex mil blamed the break down of my marriage on me not ironing/doing enough housework and me not making ex h's sandwiches for work every day.

I blamed it on him being an alcoholic. Confused

JollyHolidayGiant · 31/07/2013 22:13

This thread has got me wondering where our iron is. I know I had it in June 2012.

CollieEye · 31/07/2013 22:29

My dad was a sailor. My mum was cunning in that she ironed his military shirts really badly and wasn't asked to do it again. He took it on himself to teach me how to iron PROPERLY aged 8. Got stuck with the bloody job til I left home Sad with no pay. My friend got paid 10p per shirt Envy

I never iron nowadays. Mainly because DH once told me 20 odd years ago that he found ironing therapeutic. Removing creases, clean flat fabric..
Bet he regrets that little utterance!

riskit4abiskit · 31/07/2013 22:34

tights are defo for the wash after one use!

IrisWildthyme · 31/07/2013 22:45

Nobody irons in our house. All my clothes and DC clothes are non-iron. DH goes to work wearing a shirt, by the end of his 45 min commute his unironed shirt is relatively indistinguishable from the ironed shirts of his fellow commuters as the warmth has relaxed the wrinkles in his and the sharp creases in theirs. When he has a job interview or otherwise needs to look actually smart and unwrinkled, he buys a new shirt!

Whereisegg · 31/07/2013 22:46

I splattered my tea at the teaching a DH how to make proper gravy in case of death!!

samithesausage · 01/08/2013 01:21

I've been told "you don't iron with love, you just iron to get the creases out"!

Kiwiinkits · 01/08/2013 04:07

Ironing is the LEAST therapeutical activity there is in the world. Nothing can make me more pissed off, more quickly, than ironing. Hate it.
(We pay to have it done.)

Kiwiinkits · 01/08/2013 04:07

Therapeutical? I meant therapeutic. Obvs.

marriedinwhiteisback · 01/08/2013 05:14

I don't actually mind ironing but my mum might just trump yours. DD is 15 and my mother recently suggested it was high time she started doing some ironing - so she knew how to do it later. I responded that in that case DS should too. "Oh no, of course not, that wouldn't be right for a boy"!! And if I remember I put my foot down over her buying dd a toy ironing board and iron many moons ago.

She's 78 - one day I might swing for her :(

Tee2072 · 01/08/2013 06:12

I don't iron. My husband irons. I don't see the point.

And wearing tights more than once is gross.

sashh · 01/08/2013 07:03

Ironing......... what is this strange concept of which you speak?

Poppy4453 · 01/08/2013 07:09

My husband irons WAY better than I do. I never iron.