Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to object to dp leaving his used underwear on the floor next to the bed?

58 replies

knickernicker · 31/07/2013 09:24

This has been a long running argument between us which really irritates me and mildly amuses him till he gets fed up with the nagging.

Every night dp removes his underpants, trousers and socks and leaves them concertina fashion on the floor by the bed. He flatly refuses to take them to the wash basket. Reasons he has given are that its his room and his clothes and that the wash basket is in another room (a room at n he same floor where he keeps his clothes).

His main and most revolting reason for this habit is that a lot of the time he wears his underpants and socks for 2 days running (even in a hot summer). Compounding this has been his no windows open rule during hay fever season.

As with other arguments we have, if I wear myself out with very persistent nagging and putting up with some very patronising and unkind responses, he will use the wash basket. If I let up and make no deal of it like I've done for a week till this morning he goes straight back to leaving underwear on the floor.

Can you please adjudicate? Thanks

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 31/07/2013 09:25

I assume he does his own wash?

Because if my husband left his pants/socks/whatever on the floor, there they would remain forever.

Only things I wash are in the wash basket.

My 4 year old, BTW, knows to put his clothes in the basket and to wear clean clothes every day. Too bad your DP can't do the same.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 31/07/2013 09:26

Can the wash basket not be put next to the bed?

To be honest, I wouldn't get stressed about this. DP has left his underwear by the bed on occasion, but he knows that I won't walk around picking it up. If it's not in the wash basket, it doesn't get washed. That means either he has to collect it and do his own wash, which is a lot more effort than just putting it in the right place, or he has a frantic rush in the morning when he has no clean underwear.

Why does a grown man wear the same underwear two days in a row, anyway? That is foul. He wouldn't be coming near me in old underwear.

formicadinosaur · 31/07/2013 09:28

Is he picking it up in the morning and putting it in the washing basket?

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 31/07/2013 09:30

Put a wash basket with a lid next to his side of the bed. Leave him to wash his own clothes.
Wearing socks and pants for more than a day is foul. I bet he reeks.

badguider · 31/07/2013 09:30

why would you not just have the washing basket next to the bed? I would get fed up of walking to a different room to put my pants in the basket.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 31/07/2013 09:30

My DH is guilty of amassing a clothes mountain by the side of his bed....once a week when doing the laundry round I just grab it all and shove it in the wash.......annoying as it is I firmly believe in picking my battles.

However, the wearing the same pants and socks for 2 days is gross.......no way would I be having sex with a man who obviously isn't washing.......eeeuwwwwwww Shock

Original poster
knickernicker · 31/07/2013 09:30

He doesn't do his own easy to unless its urgent. A typical pattern would be wear for 2 days then leave on floor for the the day and maybe remove if I haven't by then. I find it hard to just leave them till he picks them up because I don't know when you that will be and I have to look at them till then.

OP posts:
TheCraicDealer · 31/07/2013 09:30

Just get a small wash basket for your room- then you can use it too and wash all your bras and knickers on a delicate cycle (stuff dreams are made of here). I couldn't be arsed walking to another floor to be honest.

My own DP will only put on clean pants if he's had a shower, otherwise "there's no point". Thankfully he showers daily, but I still get a boaky feeling at the idea of not putting fresh knickers on in the morning.

Original poster
knickernicker · 31/07/2013 09:31

Wash not easy

OP posts:
CockyFox · 31/07/2013 09:34

We leave all our washing on the floor either next to the bed or the shower, I go round each morning and stick it all in the machine no problem.

Original poster
knickernicker · 31/07/2013 09:35

I will move the wash basket to our room or get a mini pants one just for him. I don't if that will solve the 2 day rule tho'
I can't help thinking about her man sitting at work talking about important matters sat in his rank undergarments.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 31/07/2013 09:39

I don't think it matters if he just leaves them there over night, does it? Is that what you ean? I often don't clear my own clothes away until the morning, and would be pissed off with DH if he nagged me about it.

Although I don't like your DH's two day rule, that sounds a bit rank.

TheFallenNinja · 31/07/2013 09:41

Does 2 day pants mean 2 day showers? If so that's really bad and he should hand in his man card.

You should always wear pants in bed in case there's a fire, you wouldn't want to get carried down the ladder bare arsed now would you.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 31/07/2013 09:42

I think I'd concentrate on making it clear that wearing the same underwear and socks for two days is disgusting, and hope that he will stop throwing his clothes on the floor when he learns that.

I suppose, from his current point of view, he's not discarding them - just leaving them next to the bed to put on again the next day.

His personal hygiene sounds really lacking. I'm surprised he hasn't learnt better habits, even just so that people won't be repulsed by him.

HandMini · 31/07/2013 09:44

We leave all our washing on the floor either next to the bed or the shower, I go round each morning and stick it all in the machine no problem.

Same in our house. Doing the washing is one of my jobs (DH does plenty of house work so don't worry, I'm not being subjugated by this!!) and I don't really care if I pick it up from washing basket or people's rooms. I usually do a sweep round the house anyway to grab tea towels, baby muslins, towels, socks chucked down the side of the sofa where I've taken them off while watching TV to give my feet a good scratch

If I was trying to tidy the house / we had people coming round I'd ask DH to chuck it all in the washing basket.

Original poster
knickernicker · 31/07/2013 09:46

He showers every morning or every other morning. He generally puts on new pants and socks following a shower. He never washes in the evening no mater how smelly he's got. His rationale would be that he showered that morning so no need. He sleeps naked.

OP posts:
Cavort · 31/07/2013 09:46

In our house, any item which isn't put in it's allocated place is fair game for me to tidy it away to a place of my choosing, which is generally into a place where it will never be found or into the rubbish bin. It's a harsh policy but it's amazing how quickly people change their ways when their stuff goes missing. I have enjoyed many a morning watching DH running late for work while frantically looking for his shoes, which I have hidden in, say, the freezer, and he daren't ask me where they are because the response will be that if he put them away he would know exactly where they were. I know I am evil but I can't stand mess.

thebody · 31/07/2013 09:47

TheFallenNinja, live the image of the ops bare arse hubbie down a ladder.

op my dh leaves clothes all over the place but he's an ace cook and tea maker so ying/yang.

he has also been known to smell his socks and scan pants to see if they are ok for 2nd day use.😂

AMumInScotland · 31/07/2013 09:58

I'd find it a bit irritating not to have a wash basket right there in the room, personally, so I think step 1 would be to make it easier - just a small wash basket in the place where he normally drops things!

Then a conversation along the lines of "I do not have to take them down to the stream and bash them off rocks in the icy water, therefore I am happy to wash a set of underwear per day for you. Please drop them in the basket as you take them off and put on fresh ones in the morning. Thank you."

As to the no-showers thing - if he smells, I hope you turn down any suggestions of sex? A constant response of "Shower first, you whiff" might train him into thinking it is worth his while to change his ways...

QuinionsRainbow · 31/07/2013 12:34

There seem to be two issues here (aside from who actually does the laundry, and how often one ought to shower).

1- As a child, it was drilled into me that socks and underwear should be changed daily, with used items placed in the laundry box at night and fresh items put on in the morning.

2- By having the laundry box in the bathroom, item 1 is easily facilitated. Socks and undies off at bedtime and straight into the box.

Simples!

stripeyspots · 31/07/2013 12:47

Dp does this, it doesn't really bother me until he starts leaving clean and dirty ones mixed together that he has pulled out of drawers then starts asking me if he's got any clean pants. Socks left inside out dies my.head in too.

You could always put anything left on the floor in the bin, I've threatened to do this!

sweetestcup · 31/07/2013 12:54

Don't get why it bothers you so much (apart from wearing 2 day old pants), just leave them there as he would soon pick them up when he ran out of pants. Me and DH do this, he does all the washing apart from mine to so I don't expect him to pick up my dirty underwear from the floor.

BackforGood · 31/07/2013 12:54

It does seem obvious to have the washing basket in the space where people tend to undress - be that the bedroom or the bathroom. I can understand not wandering round the house naked to put stuff in a washing basket.

Squitten · 31/07/2013 12:57

DH does this. The real kicker is that the lanundry hamper is sitting directly next to his night stand - he could throw them into it whilst lying in bed!! It also drives me mad that he piles clothes up on the end of the bed/ironing board, etc, instead of putting them away.

My solution was simply to stop moving anything from where I found it. Clothes on the floor are simply kicked into a pile beside his side of the bed, clothes on the bottom of the bed are replaced there after I've made it. If it's not in the basket, it doesn't get washed. The cat will often choose a pair of his jeans or a nice jumper as a bed, which I do nothing about either. Once the room is all neat and tidy, it's blindingly obvious that the mess is his and he is much better at tidying it up now. Let it inconvenience him, not you.

I am taking great pains to get my little sons into the habit of clothes into laundry!

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/07/2013 12:58

If they smell, you open the window. He can't have it both ways. He gets one thing (leaving smelling underwear beside the bed) you get another (fresh air). He doesn't like that, he can put his stinky underwear in the wash and have a closed window. It's a compromise.