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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that 9-12 year olds should beable to carry out some household chores?

77 replies

Lighthousekeeping · 30/07/2013 10:10

I've escaped to the coffee shop with the baby and left the three nieces to throttle each other. I've come up during my annual leave to look after them. My sister rang my mum this morning on her way to work and said I wasn't out of bed yet and it was 830. I've been up at 7 every day and it must have caught up with me, the girls have been fighting all morning and its only 10am there's pots up to the sink and the floor needs the first of its daily cleans. I've asked them to do the pots and make the beds. I got told I'm not the boss of them, I blame Bart Simpson! The 8 month is a bloody doddle, so is the dog. I want to runaway!!

OP posts:
iwasyoungonce · 30/07/2013 10:13

Yanbu. My 7yo DD does some basic chores - dusting, cleaning, vacuuming etc. also puts her clothes away and makes her bed (when prompted!)

BMW6 · 30/07/2013 10:15

Absolutely they should. My 4 sisters and I all had our alloted "chores" to do from aged around 10. Usually done on Sundays so Mum got a bit of relief (my job was cleaning all the brass, including window handles and catches throughout the house, which rather dates me....)

Treagues · 30/07/2013 10:15

YANBU but in my experience the 9-12 year olds are outraged Grin

freddiefrog · 30/07/2013 10:16

YANBU, I have an 8 and a nearly 12 year old and both are expected to, and perfectly capable, of carrying out age appropriate household chores - - making beds, loading dishwasher, clearing dining table, hoovering their rooms, etc.

You're helping your sister out by looking after her kids in your annual leave, and she's griping about you still being in bed at 8:30? I think I'd be on my way home about now if that's the case.

TabithaStephens · 30/07/2013 10:17

Yes they should.

Original poster
Lighthousekeeping · 30/07/2013 10:17

It's a horrible age? I know they aren't supposed to have the telly on but they are All stil in their nightwear watching, I feel like leaving them there all day until their parents come home,

OP posts:
parakeet · 30/07/2013 10:20

How about having a Big Talk with your sister tonight. Tell her you'll be walking unless she makes it very clear to her children that yes you are the boss of them. And that they will do the chores you alot them, including picking their own mess up off the floor.

ilovesooty · 30/07/2013 10:20

Cheeky little madams.I'd go home ASAP.Why waste your annual leave on them?

kezLOU1977 · 30/07/2013 10:22

My mum would disagree with you all and say that kids should NOT be asked to do household chores! But it was alright for my brothers and I to unload the dishwasher and pop the Hoover about not to mention a bit of dusting?? All I did was ask my lot to put their clothes away and tidy up their rooms, my mum jumped in and said that when I was young she never asked us to do anything like that, I almost choked on my tea!

nokidshere · 30/07/2013 10:22

I would turn the tv off, sit down with the baby and say no food, no tv and no gadgets until the house was tidy. Then just ignore them until its done!

runningonwillpower · 30/07/2013 10:25

Not the boss of them? Well, you are certainly not the slave of them.

Totally agree with the Big Talk suggestion.

BellaVita · 30/07/2013 10:25

Of course they should be able to do chores.

Your sister is out of order ringing your mum to say you are not out of bed. The older ones should be able to get up and see to themselves.

HellonHeels · 30/07/2013 10:25

Both they and your sister sound quite rude. I think I can see where the girls get the attitude from based on your sister's comment to your mum.

Why ever are you giving up your annual leave to an ungrateful sister and unpleasant nieces?

I'd be off out of there and on my way home, I think.

Tee2072 · 30/07/2013 10:28

Tell your sister you're leaving. Stop being a doormat!

My 4 year old does household chores, FFS.

HellonHeels · 30/07/2013 10:29

And at 9- 12 years of age I recall vacuuming, washing up, helping with laundry, learning to do ironing. And being really excited and happy to see my aunt whom I would never have dreamed of being rude to.

MsVestibule · 30/07/2013 10:29

Your response should be "Er, yes, while your mother isn't here, I AM the boss of you. Now switch that TV off, go and get dressed then you dk the dishes, you tidy up and you make the beds. Now."

Please woman up and take charge!

NeverQuiteSure · 30/07/2013 10:29

Have I understood this correctly? You have given up your annual leave to help look after your sister's 4 children and house and she is upset you didn't get up when the children did?!

Will you come and stay with me next time you have annual leave? I only have 2 (sometimes 3) children and will let you sleep I'm until 8:45.

YANBU BTW. 9 year old DSS does the hoovering better than I do.

Pagwatch · 30/07/2013 10:29

What Tee said.

CuChullain · 30/07/2013 10:30

I had chores from a young age and as I got older the chores started to carry a bit more responsibility. At first it was the basic tidy up my bedroom kind of stuff, I soon graduated on to washing the car, weeding the flower beds, cutting the grass, walking the dogs and doing basic shopping. In my teens I would cook a couple of nights a week, make sure all the fluid levels/tyre pressures in the car were ok and any other ad hoc stuff that needed doing around the house (baby sitting, wiring plugs, putting up the washing etc). Kids need to be introduced to chores early on or they can develop appalling attitudes to entitlement and work eithic.

Original poster
Lighthousekeeping · 30/07/2013 10:32

I've just taken the three of them away for two nights. Yesterday we went out to meet my friend and they wouldn't leave the baby alone they told me I had no experience of looking after children because I'm a 45 year old virgin! When I told my sister she laughed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lighthousekeeping · 30/07/2013 10:32

Ps I'm not

OP posts:
formicadinosaur · 30/07/2013 10:35

We all pitch in in our house.

burberryqueen · 30/07/2013 10:35

what msvestibule said I suppose....they sound really rude!
45 year old virgin indeed!

Sirzy · 30/07/2013 10:36

The problem is have they been raised to help around the house? if they haven't suddenly being expected to will be a big culture shock and will make you seem horrible (in their eyes) getting them to do with everyone else knows they should be able to.

DS is only 3.7 but already helps with little bits around the house so for him it will be normal when he is older.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 30/07/2013 10:38

Even younger kids should do little chores my kids 2.5, 6 and 7 all do chores.. have to tidy bedroom, all kids tidy away toys. Son has started putting his dishes in dishwasher. In morn oldest 2 can pour out own cereal if I'm busy with 1 yr old.

they help me hang out washing. Between 2 of them they vacuumed the play room all edges too, i was surprised. I think its too much but they see it as a fun toy, so occasionally i let them do it.

They help with gardening, picking leaves and grass cuttings, weeds.

at 12 i was cooking in the weekend for household of 9 ppl. Personally i think i lost some of my childhood but it didnt kill me. I knew how to cook all my mums dishes now that she's gone i can say i kno them, when other siblings are forever asking me. I was also doing all cleaning including mopping, toilets, vacum. Between me and one older brother we did all this to help our mum, she does it all week once a week isn't asking too much.

So no is not asking much, kids these days are Molly cuddled and spoilt. they could do more than wash a few dishes.