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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give dd food before paying for it?

735 replies

cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:20

Went to shops today with dcs. Dd was a bit tired and hungry and I wanted to get in and out quickly and home.

She was very hungry and has health issues and needed to eat that minute so I picked something up and let her have it. I have not done this before but couldn't have gone and paid then given it to her and continued shopping as she needed to eat straight away. Usually I have a snack in my bag for her but she had already had that one and I was going to buy more snack bits for her from the shops to replenish the ones I carry for her.

I noticed that a shop assistant was watching us intently and kept seeing her as we went round the shop.

When we got to the till I took the packet off dd for the man to scan and gave it back to her. As we were leaving the member of staff who had been watching approached us with a security guard and asked had we paid for what dd had eaten round the shop. I replied yes we had but she asked to check the receipt which obviously was fine.

She then told me that in future we HAD to pay for food before consuming it. I explained to her that it was a one off as I had run out of snacks I usually carry and dd needed to eat immediately but the security guard said food has to be paid for first.

It wasn't like I do this all the time and tbh as long as the food is paid for does it really matter?

WIBU to have let dd eat her snack before we had paid for it?

OP posts:
Moxiegirl · 30/07/2013 21:25

My dd3 eats a punnet of strawberries round every shopping trip apparently (dp is a sahd). I'm sure this is preferable to her running riot and screeching Grinit's always paid for at the till and noone has ever commented.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 30/07/2013 21:26

Which large supermarket do you work for then piz, just so we know which have the most family friendly policies ?

Or, would you rather not say ?

I think you'll find we don't have to shop there either.

MrsKeithRichards · 30/07/2013 21:28

I used to do it with ds1, be can't remember it. He framed out when I opened a banana (out of a pre priced bag) for ds2 and wages to wait outside as he didn't want to be with us when we got arrested!

MrsKeithRichards · 30/07/2013 21:28

wages wanted

Goooooooooooooooooooooood · 30/07/2013 21:30

Moxie aren't you meant to wash strawberries before you eat them?

Original poster
cantsleep · 30/07/2013 21:31

If I had queued and waited till I had paid for the crisps before I gave them to dd it would have taken 5+mins as it was so busy. By the her blood sugar would have dropped below 4 and she would have had a hypo which potentially can have awful consequences.

I had her hypo kit but tbh I'd rather avoid the hypo in the first place.

If there had been no queues at all it might have been an option to very quickly pay first but it was too busy.

OP posts:
Moxiegirl · 30/07/2013 21:33

I don't wash fruit or veg!

BonaDea · 30/07/2013 21:53

Ineed - what a ridiculous thing to say.

It is a supermarket where people serve themselves to all the things sold. What difference does it make if someone presents an empty or a full packet at checkout. Why on earth would they be more likely to steal something - as you clearly suggest in your post - than anyone else. Bonkers.

Ilovemyself · 30/07/2013 21:54

I can't believe anyone suggests taking your own food. I can just see the situation at the exit when you haven't paid for the food you have eaten so can't prove you didn't steal it from the shop.

It's no biggy, you haven't stole anything as you will pay for what you have eaten so why worry.

thornrose · 30/07/2013 22:03

Littlemiss, this is what I find frustrating. The people who don't do this are accused of being arrogant, judging, smug etc.

TheSmallClanger · 30/07/2013 22:13

MrsKeith, you don't reason with a toddler. You just say "no", yoink the goods out of their hand and wait for the blubbering and protesting to subside, which it normally does, quite quickly.

BurnThisDiscoDown · 30/07/2013 22:30

About a year ago a regional radio station had a debate about this, they contacted the head offices of Tesco, Asda and Sainsburys to ask their policy. They all said it was fine, especially if a young child/baby was the one eating something, obviously as long as its paid for at the end. I've done it with DS (2), as I'd rather he had a snack than screamed all the way round.

thornrose · 30/07/2013 22:34

What makes a child scream all the way round the supermarket though?

Permanentlyexhausted · 30/07/2013 22:34

I would suggest that rather than taking one snack with you, you start to carry a packet of glucose tablets in your bag. They'll work a lot quicker at raising her blood sugar than crisps will.

2rebecca · 30/07/2013 22:39

Agree with the small clanger. At 18 months my child would have been in the seat in the trolley if I had to take a child round with me and kept out of reach of the food. They never got given anything to eat whilst we were in the shop so never asked for anything to eat whilst going round not realising for some children it's an option. I tended to avoid the biscuit and sweet aisles anyway.

MrsKeithRichards · 30/07/2013 22:41

You pick your battles

If I can assure even a 5 minute tantrum from a toy over a bloody banana by giving them one, I will.

Permanentlyexhausted · 30/07/2013 22:42

Agree 2rebecca - mine never knew eating in the supermarket was an option either.

MrsKeithRichards · 30/07/2013 22:44

Tot, not toy.

For what it's worth mine can't recall ever getting fed in the trolley.

It's not like we'd go in and think hmmm what will we dine on today? It was a case of oh here you go have this, be quiet, let me think straight!

inneedofsomehelpplz · 30/07/2013 22:49

crikey, if my dc had diabetes, i would ensure i had enough snacks on me to last a week in my bag & not help myself to shop stock without paying! its not the shops fault you werent prepared/organised. what would you have done if you wernt in a shop?

the amount of empty wrappers at the end of the day is shocking! why should shops lose out - the op may have paid but not everyone does so how can shops police the payers from the non-payers?

but of course iabu because i see the amount of theft that occurs that other posters dont.

op - you could have queued whilst dd was eating the shops stock but you chose not to - why? what excuse will you give now?

i find it more unreasonable that op wasnt prepared with snacks with a dd with a disability!!!!!! but i suppose thats the supermarkets fault as well?! (((sigh)))

usualsuspect · 30/07/2013 22:54

Oh blimey the smug mothers are out in force on this thread.

inneedofsomehelpplz · 30/07/2013 22:56

oh yes, its awfully smug of me to ensure a childs safety (((yet again sigh))) :-\

Mitzyme · 30/07/2013 23:00

Oh yes the perfect mums with perfect children.

usualsuspect · 30/07/2013 23:01

Oh go sigh somewhere else.

The OP did her best at the time.

You could make her feel a bit more shit if you try hard enough.

charlottehere · 30/07/2013 23:02

Non issue ... Do it all the time.

Emilythornesbff · 30/07/2013 23:02

thesmallclamger I've often wondered where some toddlers learn to snatch things.