I can't believe I've got my very own wedding thread:o
It's not a real AIBU because I know I'm not, more of a 'how would you phrase it?'
In a nutshell, we are invited (with kids!) to a wedding reception next month. To say we are not close friends is an understatement: Brides' parents are friends with my ILs. We have never met the groom, and have seen the bride twice in the last 4 years. I expect it will be a big party with over 100 guests, a handful of whom I have met a few times. DH will probably know a larger number, but we do not socialise with any of them, except when ILs are visiting once a year. ILs live abroad so won't be at the wedding reception either.
The bride's mum sent us a text asking if DD aged 4 could do a little performance at the reception, such as singing a song or dancing. Now DD is not shy, but is a bit reserved around people she doesn't know, and she will literally not know a single soul other than DH, DS (2) and I. Nevertheless, I asked her if she could recite a poem from her kindergarten's end of year show or dance gangnam style but she says she doesn't 'want to show off' - which I think is legitimate and actually quite sweet. I don't want to force her as I don't see the point, and she is not a performing seal.
How do I politely decline the request without hurting the MOTB's feelings? Please don't suggest that 'no is a complete sentence' cliché, I would like something a little less abrupt and I don't want it to sound like we cba. I also don't want to phrase it as 'DD is too shy' because I know she isn't, and I think her reservation is entirely natural and not a 'problem' to be addressed. The thing is, apparently other children of the same age will be performing, and I know there will be some gossip about DD not doing the same - I know it sounds silly but it is a very close knit community and all they do is talk!
So how do I politely say no?
If you've read this far, congrats. Please help!
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AIBU?
To politely decline a request for DD (4) to 'perform' at a wedding reception?
59 replies
Primafacie · 29/07/2013 20:15
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