To refuse to hand over my freecycle offers to this girl?

[GoodTouchBadTouch]

We have recently moved and I put a load of stuff on freecycle.

I was emailed by a woman who asked for 3 things, and I told her to pick one as I wanted to share them out. She says, OK, she will have the home gym.

She turns up in a very nice car - I assumed she would be a bit poorer to be scouring the giveaways on Freecycle.

She comes in to get the home gym and spots the dining set out in the hallway ready to be re-homed. She asks if its a G-plan, and when I say yes she asks for that too. She hadn't asked for it originally, but I didn't put the name in the Freecycle ad.

Then she says she can give me 20 for it, and I say no, then she says 40 and I say no, so she asks how much do I want for it and her husband can bring the van to pick it up tonight. Im thinking she is likely going to sell it on and tell her that I wanted to help someone in need and she cant have the table or the home gym, she gets a bit stroppy, but leaves.

Then I get an email from the Freecycle group, saying this member is really disappointed and would I reconsider. Im not going to, but just wondered WWYD? Was I totally out of order?

And is this how freecycle is?? A load of freeloaders trying to make some extra cash? Ive offered before, but only stuff that would otherwise be scrapped, this is the only time Ive offered anything with a resale value.

Also had an email from her, saying she will withdraw her complaint if I let her husband collect tonight. Im not really worried that she has my address.

I've never used freecycle but I thought is was so people could get rid of their stuff and get stuff they wanted for free. I had no idea about the sharing out or giving to the deserving poor or charging people for stuff you've said you are giving away. I can't get worked up about people upselling. I've given sackfulls of Boden kids clothes to charity shops which may well have been bought by people welling on ebay. Good luck to them.

It is. It's just that some people want to give out the shit they want shot of only to people who appear suitably needy so they can get a little do-gooding glow.

Blerghhhhh.
The other side of an attitude like the OP's is what happens when you put stuff on Freecycle: you get a pile of sob story replies making out that if you don't give to them, they'll be repossessed, starving and suicidal by the end of the week. Yuck. I delete those emails first.

its a chicken and egg, they feed off each other.

It's not to get a 'do-gooding glow' - it's a genuine desire to help people who are struggling a bit. Some of us understand what it's like to have been there and genuinely want to help a bit when we can.

Thats the same thing, you're making it about YOU, and how about how much people may or may not need your old stuff that you can't be bothered to or isn't good enough to sell. And that means you are making value judgements on the people who respond, as to how needy they are.
Seriously, if you want to help people who are struggling, find a charity. The aim of freecycle is to keep rubbish out of landfill, thats it.

I do wonder about what sites some of you must be on. I've been using Freecycle / Freegle for years, and can honestly say I've never had any of these problems you are talking about. I don't think I've ever had a sob story - certainly can't remember one, but if I did, I'd take it with a big pinch of salt. Tbh, I don't really mind who has it, as it's something I need out of my house as is no longer needed by me.

Yes, it's possible the odd thing has been sold on - how would I know ? but even if I did know, well, fair play to them for using a bit of initiative to earn a few quid. I had the option to sell the stuff but couldn't be bothered, so if someone else can, well fair enough.
99% of the time though I've had extremely grateful people take stuff that I no longer want, off my hands - win win as far as I can see.

I gave up on it a few years ago after my father died. I had lots of his stuff to sort out and give away, so I was offering a load of all sorts of stuff on freecycle, often 10-20 posts at a time. I tried to be fair and offer them to a variety of different people, but I got so many abusive emails because people wanted everything I posted. Then there are the ones who don't show up on time, or the endless "I'll have it" emails, or asking me to call them. I always asked in my original posting that people tell me when they would be able to pick up as that was generally what I based my decision on, and if they didn't include that, then they got nothing, but they'd keep sending emails asking if they could have it. I don't care if they were selling it on, but I don't appreciate abuse when I've offered them something and they think they are entitled to more.

Whatever the purpose if freecycle, there us at heart some sort of transaction. And transactions can feel pleasant or they can feel uncomfortable. This collector misjudged the situation. That's all.

I used freecycle items for my crafting.

I'm quite open about it, I'm not terribly poor, or worthy.

I have given up on the site because it's full of people looking to make a quick buck and others who seem to thrive off judging who is worthy enough.

I get my free stuff from the local tip now.

I think if more people approached Freecycle with the attitude that you want to get rid of something that you don't want ending up in landfill and nothing more, it's healthier all round.

YABU.

nkf the collector did not misjudge the situation. Whatever sort of a person she is, she replied to an email, was promised a home gym, turned up to collect it and was told she couldn't have it. No mix up, no mistake, the OP just didn't like the look of her!

It was the OP who misjudged the purpose of freecycle. It's not a charity.

Chipmonkey the collector did misjudge she turned up to get a home gym then put pressure on the op to also hand over a table and it was that attitude that lost her the gym.

I'm with the OP. As soon as the woman turned up and started offering cash she'd outed herself as a trader. At that point the OP was right to show her the door.

Freecycle's aim is "Freecycle groups match people who have things they want to get rid of with people who can use them"

not to provide traders with free stock

I think I did the right think by myself. She had a wasted journey, job hazard, write it off as expenses. No different than going to do a quote for a job you don't get.

Like you say Dreaming she outed herself as a trader which is not the point of freecycle.

I would've let her have the gym regardless of her car though. I saw the car pull up, let her in anyway to get the gym. Only changed my mind when she started trying to do a deal like a chubby del boy

Fuck, I hate the phrase "deserving poor", it's extremely judgemental.

Also, freecycle isn't a fucking charity!

OK, I wrongly assumed the charitable aspect.

Still - "Freecycle groups match people who have things they want to get rid of with people who can use them"

This bird clearly wasn't going to use the table

if someone is giving you something for free, it is probably best not to piss them off.

Oh OP ...it so sad these days that free sites have attracted a lot of the wrong sort .
Everything has a resale value these days, and I suspect your 'visitor' was one such.......i.e. grab freebies wherever you can and then sell on at car boot or on ebay!
Very very far from the concept.

I assumed she would be a bit poorer to be scouring the giveaways on Freecycle

it isn't just for poor people, op! The whole point of freecycle is to keep stuff out of landfil!

You were wrong to assume that Freecycle is only for poorer people. It doesn't work like that and you do sound very judgmental there. However...

The minute she started eyeing up my G-Plan and offering cash, I would have shunted her out of the door. She is probably a trader and I am one myself so can spot them a mile off! (Although I buy my stock, not hawk Freecycle) The home gym is yours and it is up to you what to do with it. She has no "right" to it so she can swivel. She's shot herself in the foot by being such a cheeky mare. Tell the FC mods that she was offering cash for goods you advertised.

OK, but I assumed you wouldn't bother doing that UNLESS you were poor.. surely most people would rather have brand new delivered to your door?

You think that people look at the offers purely from an environmental POV, hoping they can save the planet?

So you didn't let her have anything!?

Freecycle isn't there for you to feel better about helping the poor & needy, op. I think you were wrong to refuse to let her what she originally came for!

But this was a 2 car family... we only have 1 car! What the hell has how many cars she has got to do with it? How do you know her dh's isn't a company car, or hers even? We have 2 cars, dh's is a company car that we don't even have to pay to fill up...YABmassivelyU.

I don't give anything to freecycle for this reason. If you give things to a charity shop then at least the charity is benefitting from the sale even if the person gets in cheap. I don't want my stuff to go to entitled selfish greedy people for free. They are nothing but takers.

Well, Marmalade, maybe you SHOULD hawk Freecycle, just to keep the stuff from the landfill?

But yes, I do take your point. Not just for poor people

Nope, didn't let her have anything. She has stopped emailing now.

Ive found homes for a few bits from the "wanted" ads. At least I know they are wanted.