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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to hand over my freecycle offers to this girl?

176 replies

GoodTouchBadTouch · 29/07/2013 16:54

We have recently moved and I put a load of stuff on freecycle.

I was emailed by a woman who asked for 3 things, and I told her to pick one as I wanted to share them out. She says, OK, she will have the home gym.

She turns up in a very nice car - I assumed she would be a bit poorer to be scouring the giveaways on Freecycle.

She comes in to get the home gym and spots the dining set out in the hallway ready to be re-homed. She asks if its a G-plan, and when I say yes she asks for that too. She hadn't asked for it originally, but I didn't put the name in the Freecycle ad.

Then she says she can give me 20 for it, and I say no, then she says 40 and I say no, so she asks how much do I want for it and her husband can bring the van to pick it up tonight. Im thinking she is likely going to sell it on and tell her that I wanted to help someone in need and she cant have the table or the home gym, she gets a bit stroppy, but leaves.

Then I get an email from the Freecycle group, saying this member is really disappointed and would I reconsider. Im not going to, but just wondered WWYD? Was I totally out of order?

And is this how freecycle is?? A load of freeloaders trying to make some extra cash? Ive offered before, but only stuff that would otherwise be scrapped, this is the only time Ive offered anything with a resale value.

Also had an email from her, saying she will withdraw her complaint if I let her husband collect tonight. Im not really worried that she has my address.

OP posts:
Balaboosta · 29/07/2013 18:15

....right!
(blimming phone)

gordyslovesheep · 29/07/2013 18:15

YANBU about her demanding the table - but you are being unreasonable about the gym - Freecycle is basically a way of giving away shit you don't want and cnba taking to the tip - it's first come first served and not reserved for 'the deserving poor' (have you come through a time hole from 1845?)

I drive a brand new car - I am not rolling in cash - it is not paid for by me

nokidshere · 29/07/2013 18:18

Pointless! If you want to clear put house free cycle it and give the stuff to anyone who is willing to take it away.

If you wAnt to help the needy then put a big more effort into it and call o e of the charities who collect and redistribute furniture etc to the people who need it.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 29/07/2013 18:18

YABU, just for judging her on her car.

Freecycle is not really, or not only, for the 'deserving poor'; it's just a way of passing on things that you no longer find useful to people who might.

I'm puzzled by people saying 'she was cheeky; that furniture's worth much more'; the OP was giving it away!

However, end of the day Freecycle is free and she broke the rules. I'm surprised someone from the site asked you to reconsider rather than slapping her on the wrist ? perhaps she didn't tell them she'd offered money?

raisah · 29/07/2013 18:20

Contact shelter or Help the aged (they have a furniture shop & collect so it will go to those definitely in need. I have used help the aged before & they were fine to collect with their own van.

GoodTouchBadTouch · 29/07/2013 18:28

Ive removed the lot now. Like you say, no point if Im going to get fussy about who takes it.
Ill either call British Heart Foundation in the morning, or maybe put cards in the supermarket or something.

Didn't hear back from Freecycle, but Ive had emails from the lady alternating between whining (the kids are really disappointed, if youd bothered to ask we are having a really hard time atm.) and vaguely threatening (my husbands not happy about this, he wants to pick it up as promised)

Anyway, Ive learnt my lesson I think

OP posts:
Groovee · 29/07/2013 18:30

YABU by not giving her something you had said she could have just because she had a nice car. A mum at school often has to borrow her mum's car which is a brand new posh one. Doesn't mean she is rolling in it.

YANBU about the table. But you really should have given her what you had said she could have.

intheshed · 29/07/2013 18:30

I have previously given furniture to homeless charities, they often collect.

Unfortunately freecycle is more about providing a service to get rid of unwanted stuff rather than anything charitable. You can't really complain about someone selling the stuff if you just couldn't be bothered to sell it yourself.

EeTraceyluv · 29/07/2013 18:41

The attitude of the woman trying to pay for it though - doesn't anyone think that was outrageous??

Twirlyhot · 29/07/2013 18:43

It was at least honest! I'd imagine most of those showing interest would have been listing it as soon as they got it home.

GoodTouchBadTouch · 29/07/2013 18:51

"doesn't anyone think that was outrageous??"

I do of course! I do think a lot of them were at it.. some of the emails Ive got are along the lines of begging letters. They really DO all seem to have a disabled family member...

OP posts:
Dumpylump · 29/07/2013 19:00

There are at least two charities where I live who would gladly collect stuff like that and take it away for you...alternatively, at our local recycling centre there is a container specifically for things that can be used again, like tables, and electrical items.

I live in the Highlands so can't help thinking that if we have things like that up here, they must be pretty standard everywhere else too!

ParsingFancy · 29/07/2013 19:07

Hah, you wouldn't cope on my local Freecycle, OP. We have slebs and everything.

It really is just for rehoming stuff you don't need.

AidanTheRevengeNinja · 29/07/2013 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ParsingFancy · 29/07/2013 19:12

BTW, if people are taking stuff to charity shops, did you know you can fill in a form so they will get Gift Aid on your donations. That eg is Oxfam, but I think others do it as well.

Only for those who pay income tax, of course.

pictish · 29/07/2013 19:13

Just wanted to chip in to say that a 'nice car' isn't always an indication of income.
Dh drives a brand new company car, but we're totally skint-arse. The car aint ours.

I regularly scour Freecycle and Gumtree for bargains, and yes we would show up in a swish(ish) car to collect...and you might think we were 'at it'. But we're not.

KirjavaTheCat · 29/07/2013 19:16

Yep, this is how freecycle works. People getting free things and selling them on eBay. At least that's how anyone I know uses it. Cheeky really.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 29/07/2013 19:18

Freecycle, in my experience = computer literate, 4X4 driving MC freeloaders. Tried it once, never again. Some very entitled people out there. Yep also seen the " anyone got a decent car, must be newish,with MOT they want rid of " knobbers.

WeAreEternal · 29/07/2013 19:22

In your situation I would have done the same thing.

Yes you probably were slightly unreasonable for not giving her the gym as arranged, but it is yours and you can give it to whomever you please, or not in this case.

I give away quite a bit of stuff of freecycle, I am in no way playing 'lady bountiful', but while I do no longer want the items I choose to give them away rather than sell them because I would like to do something nice for someone else, in this case provide in item to someone who can no afford to go out and buy the things.

I have encountered many chancers and some extremely rude people, the worst is when people act as if they are doing you a favour by taking you item.

A couple of years ago a close friend of mine lost her baby suddenly when he was only 9 days old, she was in pieces and was hospitalised for several weeks after his death, she didnt feel that she could go home to a house full of baby things so asked me to get rid of everything other than a couple of precious items.
I packed up everything and brought it to my house.
After talking with my friend she asked me to give it all away to people on freecycle, because she hoped other people who maybe couldn't afford these items new would be able to enjoy them.

There was quite a lot of stuff, and I had hundreds of messages, quite a few saying things such as 'It will be easier for you just to have to deal with one person and one collection so I will take everything off your hands'
And quite a few just said, 'I want this, this and this, when can I come and collect them'

Eventually I did manage to give it all away to good homes, but it did take a long time to sift through the emails.

Wbdn28 · 29/07/2013 19:22

You're at liberty to give the stuff to anyone you choose. You're right to ignore the ones who make you feel uncomfortable. Your things - your choice.

GhostsInSnow · 29/07/2013 19:23

goofy your comment of "giving things away is infinitely harder than selling it" made me smile.

I tried to give away an exercise bike on FC. I had a week of semi literate emails, endless disabilities and three no shows.
In the end I put it on eBay, £5 Buy It Now, to be collected with cash. It sold within 15 minutes of going on the site and I split the fiver with my kids.

Wbdn28 · 29/07/2013 19:24

Gift aid for stuff given to charity shops is a good idea in theory. But our local charity shop virtually chases people around the shop to make them fill in the gift aid form! I wish they wouldn't do that as I'm sure I can't be the only one who's found it puts me off taking stuff there.

EugenesAxe · 29/07/2013 19:25

I don't really have an opinion on your actions either way... but I did want to put in a word for a great Christian charity that helps the homeless (and collecting furniture is part of that):

Emmaus - they have branches around the country and will hopefully have one near you.

MummytoMog · 29/07/2013 19:27

I gave up on Freecycle - everyone was just so damn rude. Stick stuff on eBay with a 99p start price, then it goes.

MiaowTheCat · 29/07/2013 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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