To refuse to hand over my freecycle offers to this girl?

[GoodTouchBadTouch]

We have recently moved and I put a load of stuff on freecycle.

I was emailed by a woman who asked for 3 things, and I told her to pick one as I wanted to share them out. She says, OK, she will have the home gym.

She turns up in a very nice car - I assumed she would be a bit poorer to be scouring the giveaways on Freecycle.

She comes in to get the home gym and spots the dining set out in the hallway ready to be re-homed. She asks if its a G-plan, and when I say yes she asks for that too. She hadn't asked for it originally, but I didn't put the name in the Freecycle ad.

Then she says she can give me 20 for it, and I say no, then she says 40 and I say no, so she asks how much do I want for it and her husband can bring the van to pick it up tonight. Im thinking she is likely going to sell it on and tell her that I wanted to help someone in need and she cant have the table or the home gym, she gets a bit stroppy, but leaves.

Then I get an email from the Freecycle group, saying this member is really disappointed and would I reconsider. Im not going to, but just wondered WWYD? Was I totally out of order?

And is this how freecycle is?? A load of freeloaders trying to make some extra cash? Ive offered before, but only stuff that would otherwise be scrapped, this is the only time Ive offered anything with a resale value.

Also had an email from her, saying she will withdraw her complaint if I let her husband collect tonight. Im not really worried that she has my address.

This is the trouble with Freecycle. To be honest, unless you are getting rid of very basic toot that someone hard up is desperate for, almost everything else will get sold on. Especially the G Plan stuff. Some of them are very good at giving you a spiel that leads you to believe they are hard up, and then they come around with an estate car fully equipped with packing blankets etc, and they know exactly how to load everything in two seconds flat - because they do it every day. Most things that get taken on Freecycle will be on Ebay or at a boot fair before the week's out.

If you really care about who it goes to then sell it yourself and donate the money to Shelter or something. If not, just accept that it's an easy way of getting stuff out of your house and be a bit more pragmatic about it.

Wanted - Laptop

See that one regularly!

Er... what's wrong with wanting a laptop They're pretty vital these days!

Why does anyone care if it gets sold on though? You can't be bothered to sell it on yourself, and want it out of your house - easier to freecycle it than take it to the dump or organise rubbish collection.

I just give things to whoever answers politely and can pick up soonest. Do not give a fuck what happens to my junk once it's not on my property anymore!

The amount of people who think that Freecycle is some kind of charity with the main purpose of making them feel good about their largesse....ffs, its to save you the bother of going to the dump!
give your shit to whoever you like. But get some perspective!

I really, really recommend Emmaus. They are a great charity, the collect furniture etc and then workshops (where they re condition stuff) and shops ate staffed by the former homeless, ex offenders etc. They so a lot of great work.

See if any women's shelters need anything - when they help women and their dc find a new home they often have nothing and may be moving in to unfurnished accommodation.

There was a great one on our local freecycle today. Wanted: Flat.

The mind boggles!

Thank you, Op. YANNNBU.

So much of my house was furnished from freecycle. When I can, I try to 'give it forward'.

Like WeAreEternal said, it's not playing Lady Boutiful to simply want to do something nice for someone.

What gets to me about the chancers and ebayers is their lies. I'm happy to give to them last, if no one needs what I've decluttered this week - but these creeps make up sob stories - and they're more experienced at it than the people who really need stuff.

Yes, freecycle is about saving landfill - but it should also be about trust. And these idiots have destroyed that. You can't choose who you pass stuff to any more thanks to these twats.

Oh please.

It does make me larf - the one thing nobody's allowed to do on MN is 'judge' and yet - what have we here? Wholesale judging approved by 'the usual suspects' . Make your minds up ffs

The entitled, grabby people, and the fact that it was always the same few people who came to collect my stuff and then resold it was the very reason I gave up on Freecycle years ago.

I've only every Freecycled things I want taken away now, quickly and easily....easier than lugging to the tip or ebaying.

I think Freecycle was invented to help you pass on things you really don't want, and to keep usable items out of landfill, not to make you feel good about helping another human being in need. Although I've had some lovely emails thanking me for things I've given. Always from women, who've sent their DH to collect....maybe it was just some dodgy guy who was going to sell at the car boot all along...

YANBU to refuse to give your property to anyone that you want to. Do some of you realise that a cashier in a supermarket has the right to refuse a sale to anyone, without any reason at all? and they don't even own the products and they are being paid for it. The OP wants to help people out who are less well off than she is, but it is still entirely up to her who, if anyone, she gives her things to. Regardless of what car the lady arrived in, she was rude and pushy.

You would make a fortune selling g plan!

That cashier will get fired pretty fast though. And how is that relevant?

YABU for not giving her the home gym as promised

YANBU to refuse to sell something else that hadn't even been offered yet

I used Freecycle 8 years ago to get rid of my maternity clothes and DD's baby stuff - met some really lovely people (including one fab couple who sent me some lovely photos of their DD in the bouncy chair I gave away). I too got fed up with the avalanche of arsey subliterate emails demanding stuff and haven't looked at the site for years now. It became very apparent that people wanted stuff just to sell on and I decided I could do that myself!

Re. the offering money thing - one time when I was lowcarbing I went and collected some Atkins bars that someone was offloading - the woman spent 10 minutes hedging around telling me how expensive the bars were before she gave them to me - I realised afterwards she was probably after me offering her some cash for them and I was too thick to cop on...

I see hilarious requests on my local Freecycle: not 'just' for laptops but for laptops in great condition with loads of software; good condition 3 piece suites in specific colours; white goods of all kinds; particular makes of prams!

I primarily use it for convenience, because for stuff I don't want and can't easily make money out of myself, I can get someone to come to my door and take it away. But for quite a bit of stuff now I take it to charity shops or put it through Amazon trade-in.

YANBU. I would have done exactly what you did - not because of the car she drove, but because she wanted the dining set ONLY when she found out it was a good brand AND because she tried to pay for it. I would answer your email from the freecycle administrators pointing out that she broke the rules and that was why you refused to give her anything.

I think you were slightly wrong not to give her the home gym given that you had already offered it to her. But her attitude was unbelievable. Why did you not just tell her that the dinner service was not on offer and ended the conversation.

Agree with others that freecycle is not just for poor people. I have quite a nice looking car which I bought myself and I have had loads of stuff from freecycle. I don't sell it on. It's stuff that I use myself or give away to friends and family, usually clothes or toys or bits and bats for the house.

Ironically, a relative of mine who is on benefits and 'poor' would rather die than dress her kids in anything second hand or give them second hand toys.......

YABU. Freecycle is to stop things going to landfill and to stop me some people from hoarding.
I am a middle-class professional if I must be streamed I started a small business from home. One of my suppliers will only take orders by fax and I have to fax him around once a month. I really didn't want to buy a fax machine but was planning to. Then when on freecycle trying to give my own stuff away, I saw that a man was offering a fax machine. So I replied and he gave it to me. He did not ask to see my bank account.

When I have given stuff away, it has been to a mix of people, a lot are young mums who are very sensibly IMO getting sterilisers and slings from me which they will use for a few months and then pass on to someone else.

I actually don't care if they ebay it either. I don't want it, am not bothered enough to ebay it, and if they are savvy enough and possibly broke enough to do it, fair play to them. Once it's theirs, it's not mine any more to be bothered about.

Oh and YWVU not to give her the gym when you said you would. No wonder she complained. The dining set was up to you, of course but a promise is a promise.

YANBU. Yes, freecycle isn't a charity but it does feel frustrating when you get lots of responses and then you find that it's going to a chancer, when there might have been another responder who genuinely needed it. It's not about playing Lady
Bountiful, it's about fairness - and knowing from experience what it's like to be in such a hard place that getting a free matching dinner set would have been a highlight of the match.

When we freecycled a load of stuff we tried to vary who we offered things to, as there are definitely some oddballs who want everything, whether a set of free weights, an old VCR, or a box of feathers and pipe cleaners! We thought that they were more likely hoarders than cheeky, so tried to stick with the responders who wrote friendlier emails and explained why they wanted it.

Alternatively, it can be worth contacting local shelters or food banks to see if there is anywhere that you can leave things to go directly to those in need.

Ooh, jus saw that you didn't end up giving her the home gym.. That does sound a bit U.

Spreading the freecycle love = v reasonable, withholding due to nice car = not v fair.