AIBU to wear same colour as bridesmaid to close friend's wedding?

[princessx]

One of my oldest and closest friends is getting married and I decided to pull out all the stops on my outfit to mark the sense of occasion and look good in front of all our childhood friends.

I've found an absolutely beautiful dress in the same colour as the bridesmaids. Everyone who sees it says I have to wear it as it is so flattering. However there are several reasons why I'm thinking its a bad idea, which is why I'm secretly posting on mumsnet...

All our old friends might assume I am a bridesmaid, or worse that I wasn't asked but I want to be one. Basically we've been friends the longest, but she asked a newer friend, who was actually my friend first. I don't mind but I don't want to draw attention to the fact.

My friend who is the bridesmaid has had a long running joke about no one stealing her thunder and wearing the same dress as it happened at the last wedding she went to.

I seem to have a problem in groups and always rub people up the wrong way. I just don't want to look like I'm attention seeking at this wedding, I'd prefer to just be in the background and have a good time.

What do you wise mumsneters think? Should I focus on looking my best, or should I wear something else to avoid the drama?

Is there no way this dress comes in another colour?

Which situation will make you most comfortable - wearing a different dress or risking pissing off the bride and bridesmaid?

I would find something else if it were me, plenty of beautiful dresses out there why even give yourself this headache if you don't need to.

Wear something else, for all the reasons you have given.

well you could wear it and then half way through change into a big white dress to piss off the bride as well. 😃
seriously don't wear it, people will laugh.

You are right, it will look deliberate.

There are millions of dresses, no one is going to believe that out of all of them you picked this one.

Genuinely a dreadful ideA.

Find another dress. For serious. Why would you want to look like a "wannabe" bridesmaid? All the other guests will be wondering why you did it - if you're comfortable with guests talking about you instead of the bride, of course, then go right ahead.

Wear something else. I think you will fuel self conscious if you wear the same co.,our as bridesmaid.

You already knew the colour was the same?

Avoid Avoid Avoid.

Don't wear it

Find something else. No point in risking upsetting the bride

I think, to an extent, it depends on what the colour is.

If, for example, it is black then I don't think anyone would turn a hair (apart from the contentious issues of black BMs dresses - see any current weddign forum for details).

However it is, say, a particular shade of teal green or something a bit more unusual, it might look desperate.

But there again, it depends also on the style of dress and how you accesorise it.

What colour is it?

I wouldn't tbh. Can you get it dyed?

If it's the colour of the season and a very different style, it should be ok. But if it's neither of those things, consider something else.

I wouldn't do it.

I was a bridesmaid recently, we wore burgundy. One family member (who actually stormed out of the room in a strop when she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaids) wore a cream and burgundy dress. (she knew the colour scheme) The amount of other guests who commented to me that she looked like she was trying to be a bridesmaid was astounding! Basically everyone.was laughing at her.

That said, I once wore blue to a wedding, only.to.find that the bride was too! Whoops in my defence I was pregnant and skint, so finding an outfit I liked and could afford was no mean feat!

Gargh I'm glad I posted here! The dress does come in another colour pale grey but it looked awful on me. I've bought one other dress in hot pink which will look ok, although a bit mutton dressed as lamb. This dress is dark purple and really flattering colour and cut.

I should mention, that one of my guests chose to wear the same style and colour as my bridesmaids. She had never been a bridesmaid before which everyone knew.
She spent the whole day having to explaining herself.

Although I wasn't overly bothered as I'd not noticed her dress, ( i was to busy being agog at one of the other dresses being worn that day) my bridesmaids were a bit pissed off and for that I was unhappy.

Oh no, don't. Seriously, don't.

I did this ACCIDENTALLY (caps justified in this situation I think?) and I felt like a right attention-seeking bridesmaid-wannabe tit. I literally crumpled inside when the bridesmaids came down the aisle.

Don't. Do. It.

If you know its the same colour (assuming the same shade etc not just a different shade of green or the like) then i think you need to steer clear. If you think it COULD be an issue then it probably will be. Would annoy me as a bride unless it was an accident. Would look like you are trying to make a point, even if you aren't.

Of course it's going to look like you're pissed off at not being asked to be bridesmaid; so you're staging a sort of "protest" by dressing as if you were
Please don't humiliate yourself by doing this; you'll be the talk of the washhouse!

Don't do it - but do post in S&B asking for people to find a similar cut dress in a colour that would suit you.

she would be fairly shallow to be upset, but you may also look a bit of a joke. Probably best not.

It will look deliberate, almost as bad as wearing white lace!

Hit the sale and get something else, it will save you a lot of trouble. And you can always save this dress for your next wedding/event :)

If the dress is THAT flattering keep it for another occasion. Out of interest, the people who are all telling you to wear it, do they know all the stuff that you have told us? The fact that it is the same colour as the bridesmaids, that you weren't invited to be a bridesmaid etc. If so I am surprised that they are telling you to wear it tbh. Find something else. You will be more comfortable and so will everyone else, including the bride.