how much does your husband drink alcohol?

[whereaboutinlondon]

My husand drink 2-3 pints beer once or twice a week at work. And drink a glass of red wine with dinner at home occasionally. Does he drink a lot or not? We always argue with this.

I would worry if he started drinking more than he used to, drives when he's been drinking, or gets visibly drunk as that isn't his normal habit.

I'd worry a lot if DH went for more beer after we've finished eating or started refilling his once or twice a week glasses of whiskey, because it's never been his habit and if I felt he was upping his alcohol intake to relax or skeep l'd be very concerned.

I've known him 25 years, since he was a postgraduate student and never seen him drunk. Although, I believe he has been known to make homebrew that got a lot of his peers drunk.

It doesn't sound like a huge amount.

However, drink regardless of quantity affects different people in different ways. Is he unpleasant in some way when he's been drinking? Is that you can't afford his nights out?

If you have problem drinking in your family (I do), then I can understand being anxious about the drinking of others and the fact that so many people have very laisse faire attitudes towards alcohol consumption doesn't help.

I'm teetotal and so is DH and I'm glad for that every day.

Why on earth would you find him drinking a glass of wine with dinner stressful?

Are you aware that moderate drinking, esp of red wine has health benefits and that moderate drinkers live longer than tee totallers?

You are being ridiculous. You will drive any sane person away with this sort of behaviour and stressing over something so minor is likely to lead you to an early grave much sooner that a couple of pints would ever do

Its not your DH's drinking that's the issue, it's your attitude towards it...the amount you describe is not problematic in itself. So you might want to figure out what makes you so worried about someone having a few drinks. A glass of wine (or 2) with dinner is a fairly regular occurrence for DH and me, it's not a big deal, unless, as others have already said, someone wants to drive.
If there is a history of alcoholism in your family then you would know the difference. I have experience of this, having a few drinks or getting pissed once in a while doesn't mean you're a raging alcoholic.

I'd drink more than that if I were married to you, OP!

ImperialBlether what an absolutely stupid thing to say.

Do you not get' that the OP is concerned and you saying I'd drink more than that if I were married to you........did you even stop for a second and think how that would make the OP feel?

Wow , she is sooooooooooooo unreasonable that she drives her husband to drink.

People should actually think before they post

OP:

drinking large amounts regularly or very large amounts occasionally (=binge drinking) is very bad for your health

however, drinking small amounts of alcohol regularly (for instance, a glass of wine with your dinner) has been shown to actually be healthier than not to drink at all

it is probably worth stopping to think about why this very moderate drinking worries you so much:

is it because you were not aware of the health implications as explained above?

or is it because of something unpleasant in your past that means any alcohol has bad assocations for you?

or is it for cultural/religious reasons?

or is it because your husband is actually affected by the small amount he drinks, e.g. becomes unpleasant or argumentative?

If the last, then yes you have a problem and something needs to be done. If no 2 and 3 then you need to have an open talk; your husband needs to respect your viewpoint but you also need to respect his. If no 1, just inform yourself.

It doesn't sound a lot to me

My DH drinks 1 - 2 cans of lager, 3 - 4 times a week on average. Sometimes none, sometimes more if he has a couple of nights out

I don't drink alcohol, well, I can take it or leave it to be honest, sometimes I do, mostly I don't, but while it's such a moderate amount I wouldn't dream of trying to control DH's alcohol intake

OP, he's a grown up. I suggest you stop acting like you are his mother and questioning his very moderate drinking.

That doesn't sound a lot to me - my ex drank couple pints of beer plus 1 - 2 bottles of wine a night - every night. If there are no issues of alcoholism in your family then I am not sure why you would have an issue with him drinking what seems to me to be a moderate amount, unless of course this moderate amount means his behaviour towards you changes.
All the best. x

It is very little.

Are you new to the UK OP? Just that I know we have a different attitude to alcohol here to many other countries.

the op nearly states what her dh drinks and that she argues with him about it.

as the amount stated is little and on that premise the op is being very unreasonable then it's quite proper for other posters to tell her she is being unreasonable and controlling.

if there are other issues here the op had not stated them.

if my dh policed me like this I would not be impressed and to cause arguments about it is quite abusive actually.

I can only assume that there is an underlying issue here OP, as your dh is clearly under the recommended limits, and you must have known that before this thread, as the information is readily available with a quick Google.

So what is the real issue here (genuine question - want to help). Are you an alcoholic, and do you struggle when he drinks? Does he have health problems that make you worry when he drinks? Tell us what's really going on here.

Thats not a lot at all compared to my DP, I complain about his drinking a lot..

A small amount of alcohol can be good for you and your husbands consumption is small. When I was diagnosed with high blood pressure my doctor recommended a glass of wine.

My husband has had a serious condition for over 5 years now and we recently discussed alcohol with his consultant. He drinks more than your husband and the consultant was quite happy.

Some of the non drinkers I know can almost be fearful of it, but I would leave your husband alone unless he has previously had a real problem with drinking. Relax!

My partner hasn't drunk alcohol for well over a year now. However, he is not remotely cats-bum-mouthy at me when I drink. Which I do. Sorry if you think I'm ancient and all, but I'm 50 and many of life's more casual pleasures are now behind me....

A small amount of alcohol is beneficial but some people have no idea about units etc. 3 pints of a strong beer is classed as binge drinking and about twice the daily safe limits for men but it is and always will be his choice how much he drinks all you can do is decide if you can live with it if not you only have the choice to leave.

My best mates husband drinks 4-6 cans every days and prob more at weekend.I think thats bad,what do you think?

OP, I have worried in the past about my DHs increased drinking, and most people on here wouldn't thiink that it was excessive. Neither did I really, it was just more than he used to drink (has cut back again now). Is there a reason why you are concerned about it. The amount you describe is really not a health concern, however if his behaviour changes then it could be, or if it is more than he drank before then it could be a concern, or if you have had experience of someone drinking to excess then it could be a concern to you. Try not to worry, but if you can't, then speak to someone in real life about your concerns. It does sound, from what you've said, that it is more your problem than his.