Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

how much does your husband drink alcohol?

95 replies

whereaboutinlondon · 28/07/2013 17:55

My husand drink 2-3 pints beer once or twice a week at work. And drink a glass of red wine with dinner at home occasionally. Does he drink a lot or not? We always argue with this.

OP posts:
thebody · 28/07/2013 19:09

think you have control issues op and its YOU who needs to change not your dh.

HotCrossPun · 28/07/2013 19:12

My DP doesn't drink.

Yours doesn't drink a lot.

Chill out.

Sallystyle · 28/07/2013 19:13

Mine has around 3-4 pints on a Sat when we go for a meal.

He might have the odd evening during the week where he has 2-3 cans but it isn't often.

However, he would like to drink a lot more but for certain reasons he knows he shouldn't.

Sallystyle · 28/07/2013 19:13

Why are you worrying about this OP?

Are you really worried about his liver or is something else going on?

badguider · 28/07/2013 19:17

Advice is that men should stay below 21 units per week. I make 6 pints and a large glass of wine about 18-19 units so he is not drinking more than is good for his health.

4thfloor · 28/07/2013 19:31

So he has started drinking more, is out on a Friday and another week night without you.

And gets annoyed when you mention how much he drinking.

If he was never a big drinker and his pattern has suddenly changed I can understand your concerns.

He is drinking a 'safe' amount but most of it seems to be outside the house and without you there, so maybe 2-3 pints is not the actual amount iyswim?

Lots of people can enjoy a drink but if someone I was married to suddenly started more and got defensive about it, I'd be concerned

thebody · 28/07/2013 19:32

however it's still not really the point re units is it?

ops dh is an adult so he doesn't really need controlling/ watching like this does he.

AnnabelleLee · 28/07/2013 19:34

not as much as I do.

What is your AIBU?

thebody · 28/07/2013 19:34

I would be defensive if my dh watched me and counted the units.

just a bit wierd really.

Pinupgirl · 28/07/2013 19:34

During the week very little. Either none or 1 beer with his dinner. At the weekend-far too much. A crate of lager-so 12? Plus a bottle of red wine. He is a huge binge dinner although not as bad as he used to be.

squoosh · 28/07/2013 19:36

4thfloor OP says her husband drinks less now than he did when she met him. That kind of scrutiny would drive me to the surgical spirits.

Beastofburden · 28/07/2013 19:45

Why do you find it stressful when he drinks? Do you have a bad previous experience of excessive drinking in your family?

He sounds like a completely sensible moderate under control drinker. I think you know what safe drinking limits are (we all have google) so you would like us to validate you having harsher standards. You would do well to rethink your attitude to risk and control of your dp.

SirChenjin · 28/07/2013 19:47

What 4floor said.

My DH doesn't drink at all, but that's because he has diabetes and finds it messes with his blood sugars.

MarianneM · 28/07/2013 20:01

I was going to say you are not his mother but others have sort of pointed it out already.

I really don't get this policing and controlling your partner that a lot of people seem to do.

Poor guy.

KirjavaTheCat · 28/07/2013 20:08

My OH is and always has been completely teetotal.

I'm not, I rarely drink, and it doesn't cause problems when I do. But if he had a catsbumface about any amount of alcohol I did drink (within reason obvs) I'd find it very annoying and sanctimonious.

4thfloor · 28/07/2013 20:16

But why because it's alcohol is it ok to say 'chill out , leave him be don't be concerned'

If say for instance he was a smoker, or taking drugs , would you have the same attitude and say 'back of he's an adult he can do what he want' without wifey sticking her beak in'?

The OP is concerned about her husband...that does not mean she is a controlling shrew, it means she is concerned.

And as many have said he is not drinking to an unhealthy extreme OP, the amount he is consuming (if he is being accurate) is well within health guidelines, however if it presenting a problem in your relationship, it is a problem

squoosh · 28/07/2013 20:25

The problem in the relationship is not the husband's drinking, it's the OP's attempts to control him.4thfloor smoking and drugs are always detrimental to a person's health, moderate drinking isn't. The OP is concerned for her husband yes, but clearly her concern is misplaced.

She needs to stop trying to control an adult who is doing nothing more than drinking below the recommended guidelines.

ageofgrandillusion · 28/07/2013 20:29

OP's partner, if you are reading this, LTB.

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/07/2013 20:35

Yabu to watch him in the way you describe. It isn't a lot to drink.

You are being very controlling. No wonder you argue about it! I would feel so defensive if my dp was behaving in the same way you are. I would also probably leave him.

gloucestergirl · 28/07/2013 20:45

My DH drinks about 1 beer every night when finishing work (chef) and then 6-8 beers twice a week on his days off. He does drink too much. We argue as I want him to have at least 1 or 2 days a week alcohol-free for his liver to recover. His profession though is alcohol-soaked. It sounds as if your OH is drinking perfectly healthly. It probably helps him to relax and is fun when socialising with work collegues.

BTW I agree with you one glass of wine should be counted. It does my head when my DH does this. That's why our number system starts with one and not two!

Flobbadobs · 28/07/2013 20:50

Why so worried? Is a moderate amount. Does his reaction after a drink concern you in some way? Does he drive after drinking?

Sallystyle · 28/07/2013 22:11

Maybe the OP isn't just being a control freak for the sake of it? maybe she has genuine concerns? maybe she has alcoholic parents so she is extra scared about how much alcohol is too much.

There could be plenty of reasons why she has concerns which have nothing to do with her just being a naggy control freak, you know!

OP, it would be great if you could come back and tell us exactly what you are worried about.

expatinscotland · 28/07/2013 22:13

My husband is teetotal. He just never cared for alcohol. But your husband doesn't sound like he drinks a whole lot.

morethanpotatoprints · 28/07/2013 22:16

Thats not a lot really.
Its more than I do, but I can't stomach it now Sad
My dh has a glass or 2 red wine with dinner, sometimes less, but never more.

girliefriend · 28/07/2013 22:17

That doesn't sound a lot, why does it worry you?

My friends dh drinks a bottle of wine every night - that a lot in my book.